I have a 34 month-old boy. His father and I have been separated for a year, and my son lives half the time with his father and half the time with me and my partner, with whom I'm expecting another baby. We are regularizing our situation through advocates and we've already had our "precautionary measures", which state that the mother gets to see the kid two days, then the father two days, then the mother five days, and the father five days, and then we start over with two days, etc.
The thing is my son hasn't been sleeping well (at all?) for about 10 months. When the kid stays with his father, he tells me he sleeps all night. When he stays with my mother, they tell me he also sleeps all night. But when he stays with me, he doesn't sleep. It takes about 45 minutes every night for him to fall asleep, and I need to lie with him so that he can fall asleep. He (unconsciously) moves, he flinches, he kicks, and it looks like he wants to fall asleep but can't.
He goes to bed everyday at 8 or 9, and at 1 o'clock he wakes up and comes to my bedroom saying he wants to sleep in my bed. I return him to his bed, stay until he falls asleep, and at 2 he comes again. And so on, for about 4-5 times each night. And most of those times it takes him from 30 minutes to 1 hour to fall asleep again, because he can't stop moving.
When he's with me, it's all the time mama this, mama that, mama come here. My mother says the issue is he wants to spend more time with me when we're together, and that he wakes up repetitively to check I'm there. When I return him to his father, he cries and cries, saying he doesn't want to go, although I know that he's ok when he's with him.
How can I help my son with this? I've tried everything. I've put him in my bed but he just moves and moves until he falls asleep and then keeps waking up a thousand times during the night. He says he hates sleeping, and he's anxious to wake up when it's light outside. Is he just a nervous child and has a hard time falling asleep? Or is there a deeper psychological issue? I am quite sure if he were with me all the time, he would sleep all night, but of course I can't do that. I no longer know what to do so that we all can have some rest.