I have a 3 year old who also has difficulty going to bed and is definitely a strong willed guy, so I can definitely sympathize. I am fortunate not to have to be a single parent, and that definitely is hugely helpful when out of control myself - having another person take over often helps both the kids and me. However, you can't really control that, so you'll need to find other solutions.
First off, I'm a proponent of non-punishment based parenting. In this case, the major application is that you need to teach your child why he should not do the things that are major problems, such that he understands why, and is a cooperative agent in fixing the problems when possible.
If he makes a mess spilling water on the floor, why is that a problem? It's a problem because it needs to be cleaned up. So - he needs to clean up the mess before he plays with anything else. He might need a few minutes of calm-down time to get in the mood to fix the problem of course - but the idea is that it's not a punishment, it's simply fixing the problem, same as if he did it by accident (except perhaps I help more when it's an accident).
If he gets into the fridge, why is that a problem? Either because he shouldn't eat things without asking - or because he makes a mess pulling things out, right? The latter is the same as the water above: he has to clean up the mess, and if he wastes a lot of food, take it out from his allowance or toy budget or whatever; explain to him that you only have so much money, and every time he wastes something it's money you don't have to buy something more fun.
The former is more easily fixed by setting up the fridge in a way that the foods he has immediate access to are things you're okay with him eating - veggies, milk, things like that. You should also discuss with him nutrition and balanced eating, such that he understands what foods are "good foods" and which are not particularly good for him. My three year old likes to ask me what's good for him in everything he eats, and it can be a fun conversation, especially when I don't know and have to look it up - instant learning experience.
Ultimately, though, one of the main reasons you may be having trouble is simply that he wants more attention, and one way to get that attention is to misbehave such that you have to pay attention to him. Negative attention is still attention. This may not be something you have a lot of control over, given you're a single parent and have lots of work to do I'm sure to keep the household running, but it may be something to think about: particularly if there are places where you can add a little bit of interaction even while doing household work.
Maybe let him stand on a stool in the kitchen while you cook and do a little bit of stirring and such, or even let him color on the kitchen table while you cook. Teach him to fold towels (easily done by a three year old) so he can help you with the laundry. Little things like that make a big difference to a young child, and may both cut down on the opportunities for bad behavior as well as increase his comfort level with your attention.
As far as bedtimes go, there's other questions on the site that discuss that issue specifically; but for you specifically, all I can say is that to me there are two approaches that I think are good ideas. One is to stay with him until he falls asleep; if you put him to bed at the 'right' time for him, that won't be very long. We ended up having to put our kids to bed later than we originally thought was right - around 8:30 start, 9:30-10 final sleep time usually - but it's very smooth now and they usually fall asleep within five to ten minutes.
The other is to be very clear with him about what is acceptable and what is not, but make sure 'acceptable' is sufficiently wide that he can succeed most of the time. That might mean you allow him to bounce about some. For us, the rule is a few non-noisemaking toys are allowed on the bed - trains, cars, etc. - as long as they stay on the bed (no body parts touching the floor). Other than that, anything goes as long as they aren't noisy. That's sufficiently wide latitude that if one of them is bored and not sleepy, he can play quietly with his toys, but won't disturb the other one.
We also have a bottle of water near the bed to deal with the 'get me drink/food'. No food is ever allowed, but drinking the water is. (We're fortunate that the potty trained one, the three year old, has a great bladder and even gets up to pee in the middle of the night when needed. Of course this won't work for everyone.)