What if the father of my children has not seen or talked to his kids in over a year?

Question

My kids father had nothing to do with my son for the first year and a half that he was born then after that he was in his life until he was 9 years old. Then my girls were around him when they were born until they were 6 and 4.

He left on May 9, 2009 and in the summer of 2010 the kids went to see him the first time in Vegas where he had moved to.

He had set with the court that he would see the kids every other summer. In the years he wouldn't have the kids in summer, he would have them over for spring break and Christmas. The kids never went for spring or winter break.

Then he moved closer and they saw him the summer of 2012. Since that time he has not talked to his kids nor seen them since their last visit.

He has not paid support in at least 2 years.

The kids want nothing to do with him. My kids are know 15,12, and 10 years old. He does not send cards for their birthdays or even a letter explaining anything. He just stopped talking to them. Then my daughter tried to talk to him and he deleted her from facebook.

What should I do now? I feel I need to advocate for them.

Answer 1

There are two types of obligations a father has towards his children: Moral and legal ones.

Moral obligations like visits, birthday cards or simply keeping in touch are something he decides to fulfill or not - there is little to be done if he decides not to see his children. In your case it appears your children have come to accept the situation, as harsh as it sounds. If you choose to keep the proverbial door open, good for you, but I wouldn't count on him, given his past record.

Legal obligations are a different matter. Child support is something he owes to you and your children, something they are entitled to. If he dodges his duty, get legal support. This is no laughing matter and even if you get by easily now it's money that will come handy once your children go to college or something unforseen happens. Basically, it's theirs, don't take it away from them. Do not cancel child support in the hopes of him fulfilling his moral obligations of being a father.