My son is 8 and my daughter 16. My son's father was physically abusive to me, and emotionally abusive and neglectful towards both children. He is a severe alcoholic with a personality disorder.
I have struggled with keeping him in my son's life since our separation 4 years ago. My daughter hates him and voices her disgust over his presence. He constantly cancels visits or has friends over and gets drunk/has blackouts while he had my son with him. He has also driven my son home while drunk.
My son's is now diagnosed with depressive disorder. He is hurting himself and talking about dying. He is in therapy multiple times a week and attends Al-anon meetings when they are offered at school. He goes to school yelling about his dad lying, he throws desks, etc.
Each time his dad has relapsed, my son has had increasingly severe episodes. I'm ready to cut his dad out until he is old enough and stable enough to decide for himself. I have asked my son's father to meet with my son and his therapist but he refuses. My son does not want me to make this decision and thinks his dad will get better.
Is cutting a dad out of their child life ever the right choice? I am aware of my rights. I have full custody and do not have to allow him visitation. I just struggle with whether or not this is the appropriate decision.