My daughter who is 5 and usually very happy and loving recently told my husband and me she wanted to shoot us and run to Noni.
After talking with her, we later realized this anger is directed at me. It has been a week now and though she's not repeating the fact that she wants to shoot me, she does continue to say she doesn't love me and wants my mother in law to be her mommy.
My daughter also just this week started telling me my belly bothers her, I look old, my nose is pointed and she doesn't think I'm pretty. She also seems more distant to me than normal. I did make the mistake of breaking down and letting her see me cry over this at one point. My husband is also beside himself over the remarks and attitude she is presenting to us.
I have been with my daughter since the day she was born. I believe I show her unconditional love and give her plenty of affection and time.
We did live with my mother in law for a little over a year while trying to relocate to a different state (which we did 6 months ago). I have had to correct my daughter at times because I would overhear her calling my MIL mommy while playing with her and I would also get upset because my MIL would not correct her and continued to answer her. This has happened long before we moved in with her.
My MIL also feels the need to always be buying my daughter things and bringing them with her on a trip here or shipping her a box of stuff very frequently, even after we have nicely reminded her that we are living in a small space and don't have room for everything. We also had to stop my MIL at times from interfering in our personal situations such as my daughters vaccinations etc. where she thought it was her place to call my daughters pediatrician and try to get information and when she couldn't, she reached out elsewhere to bring us home brochures on the subject.
My daughter during this past week has told us of 2 different situations that my MIL has told her to keep a secret between the 2 of them (calling her mommy was one of these).
We do typically try to maintain a healthy and good relationship with both of our parents so my children can be close to them. My son who is 15 months old does not receive the same attention or peace of mind from my MIL as my daughter. Both my husband and I have tried to address this situation in a kind manner.
Had I been absent or negligent in my daughters life I could understand the confusion but I have read her bed time stories, told her she is beautiful and how much she's loved, had tea parties and painted nails etc. we have tried ignoring her, telling her its okay we love her no matter what and that its ok she's feeling like this. My husband has resorted to even punishing her for the things she's saying. A few days ago we agreed we don't think she should be punished for this behavior but that we shouldn't ignore it either.