my son turned 3 on january 28th. We have started to toilet train for the last 5 days. I dont use the potty and placed him straight onto the toilet. He had a small toilet seat to fit on top but as he is quite capable we dont even need to use this anymore and sit straight onto the toilet. I have recently had another child on february 26th, and i have previously tried twice unsuccesfully to toilet train before my second child was born.

Both times before i gave up as he would completely refuse to use the toilet and i had to literally pick him up and take him and it was turning into a power struggle and even when he sat he would not do anything no matter how long we sat there so i thought he was probably not ready and gave up both times after a few days.

This time however we have been succesful in getting him to the toilet and actually weeing. However, he will not go on his own accord or let me know. I have to take him every 20-30 mimutes and if i get distracted he has an accident on the floor. He knows he has done something wrong because he will freeze in his place and tell me.

Also because i know he is having alot of accidents i part use pull ups and part try to keep him just in knickers (I use pull ups when i need to cook or i know i will be busy and cant take him every so often, also for naps, going out or to sleep in). I have read alot that pull ups confuse him but i cant afford for him to have an accident all the time when i am busy with something else.

Any suggestions of where i might be able to improve the situation and any advice on how to get him to let me know he needs the toilet instead of having to take him myself all the time.

I know its early days but its really such a strain i just feel so tense all the time because if i forget or get too busy then we have an accident to deal with.

One final thing he has been holding in his bowel movements, and im worried he is going to cause himself some harm with constipation.

  • 1
    Zara, I recommend you read the other questions on this site about toilet training, and then if you have more specific questions that aren't addressed in them, feel free to ask them. In general, toilet training is one of those things that is 'when he is ready, it will be easy' for most children; when they're not ready, it's very difficult. Try some of the different things recommended on other questions, but in particular, focus on not making it stressful for him - that's the one thing that can make this impossible. Good luck.
    – Joe
    Commented Apr 12, 2015 at 18:37
  • Hi, Zara, and welcome to the site. As Joe said, we have a lot of information about potty training. Please do read some of it and re-ask your question if there is nothing that addresses your specific problem for example, he might do better on a potty chair. There are years of experience on this subject available with a search (just type in a few words in the search at the right of the black bar up above.) Commented Apr 12, 2015 at 20:10


Browse other questions tagged .