I have been tutoring a child, and over the past months I have come to the conclusion that the parents allow the child to stop when things are getting hard. The child has from my view only little willpower, persistence, and discipline, and instead of dealing with difficult situations and working through them, the attitude is to drop the situation. Also I don't see the child having much self confidence, in terms of "he doesn't believe in himself".
I hate to make conclusions like this, especially because I can't say that I see everything that goes on every day, but there have been a large number of incidents and stories that I heard, that lead me to believe this.
I just came across a paragraph in a blog article that describes very well what I see is in the making:
a record number of 20-somethings who are depressed and don’t know why. These young adults claim they had magical childhoods. Their parents are their best friends. They never experienced tragedy or anything more than normal disappointments. Yet for some reason, they’re unhappy.
...parents today are too quick to swoop in. We don’t want our children to fall, so instead of letting them experience adversity, we clear the path. We remove obstacles to make their life easy. But adversity is a part of life, and only by facing it can our children build life-coping skills they’ll need down the road.
“Many parents will go to do anything to protect their kids from even mild discomfort, anxiety, or disappointment—’anything less than pleasant’—with the result that when, as adults, they experience the normal frustrations of life, they think something must be terribly wrong.” - psychiatrist Dr. Paul Bohn
While I find it great that today’s parents are more invested in their children’s lives than previous generations, our involvement can go overboard. ...Unless we’re mindful of that, it’s easy to handicap them by making their lives too easy.
As my favorite parenting philosophy goes: “Prepare your child for the road, not the road for your child.”
I see this issue manifested in quite a few ways, and I feel there has to be a line drawn somewhere.
My question is:
Is there any way that I could communicate this to the parents? Plant a seed in their head, at least give them perspective, make them think about it?
Or what else would be a good way for me to deal with this and put closure to it, at least so that I stop worrying about the child. I get very passionate about this, and feel many things should be handled differently, but obviously I am not in a place to have much say.
How can I as someone who is not the parent deal with this?