I'm in my early 20s, I haven't developed my career yet. I'm currently in my final year of pre-med. I was going to apply to medschool next year, but I'm four months pregnant now. I've decided to delay medschool until 2017, but my husband wants me to be a stay at home mother. Also, my husband and I are citizens of different countries, we're living and working in his country now, but I'll be studying in my country which is on the other side of the world.
The baby will be cared for by me with the help of my parents, but my husband won't get to see her/him much because he'll be working in his country and doesn't have plans to relocate.. So we'll be a long distance family and he'll miss many of the baby's milestones.
But I honestly dread the thought of being a stay at home mother, my own mother is a highly educated professional woman. No offence to anyone, but I believe I have a lot of potential (including the potential to be more successful than my husband). Being a doctor is also more prestigious than being a stay at home mother and I'll have financial independence - doctors are very well paid.
However, I feel that
- I won't have enough time to devote to my child to raise her the way I want. I don't want to hire a nanny or put her in daycare. I also wanted to homeschool my kids. Being a doctor, or studying to be a doctor involves many many many hours. It's not 9 to 5 like other jobs.
- I also feel that it will affect my relationship with my husband. No physical contact for 4+ years etc.
- I hadn't planned to have kids until 30, so this has completely derailed my plans and no abortion isn't an option.
Also I'm not set on becoming a doctor. I'm also interested in entrepreneurship so I guess I could start and run a home based or online business but I'm not sure if I'll be successful , entrepreneurship is not as straightforward as a medical career. In any case, I know I want to be successful, financially and socially, I want to be respected and held in high esteem by everyone around me.
What should I consider to help me make this decision?