I'm 18, almost 19 and I've been dealing with my parents' negativity as far as I remember myself. I'm currently a game programmer, something that isn't from the easiest. Still I manage perfectly to cope with it.
(Long story short) of the power of infinity, my parents always moan about me not communcating enough with them and not contancting them very often. I completely understand them but here comes the funny part. Every time we talk, we loop over same things all over and over again, like how hard life is, they not having enough time to do the things they want(a note, my mam is all day long in front of the tv, washing her brains out every single second more and more). If you have heard about back pain or joints pain in general in your life, trust me it's not enough! You have to hear how my parents are talking! They have everything actually... pretty much enough money, free time, everything that a person needs to live perfectly. Still this isn't noticed. Only the negative, which sometimes isn't actually that negative, just the way they present it....
I know I shoudn't try to change people at all but what if these people are my family and I want to get the best of life? I guess you would say smth like "well then don't pay so much attention to it". Okay that simple. But what about the emotions I get from them, being so negative, after all they are my family I don't want them to feel bad at all. But like I mentioned above I'm in a very competitive industry, where you cannot afford to waste time on useless talks, especially negative ones, which not only don't have any pros but also have many cons.
Every time I talk with them I leave with my head down, tired and disguisted of all the negativity they've got or I get away very angry, thinking about the scandals for days after. I am so lucky to have an amazing gf, who supports me in everything I do, especially in these hard times I have with my parents but still sometimes I feel that I disassemble her with my problems. I.e. one day she wakes up, I've woken up before her, have talked with my parents and in order to avoid having arguments with her I share everything that happened with me and them. This way, despite the advantages of doing this, she gets part of the negative energy that flows in our family and I HATE THIS! The worst thing of all I hate is their "useful" advices, even when I don't ask them for any. How I should be cautios about my diplomas and so on. How many cheaters in life there are, which is the reason why they haven't succeeded in life. haha because of the cheaters, this is so funny! They have excuses for every single failure of theirs. Still they manage to criticise me for doing the "wrong" thing every time my opinion doesn't match with theirs.
Another thing is GUILT. Many times I've tried just to ignore the things they tell me to do but then the next time we talk the following answers come along: Did you do this, did you do that? Why didn't you do it? Why did you do this? Why didn't you listen to us, don't you think we're right. They have smth like a desease for being the right people always... The problem is they never learn. I don't want to be offensive or rude or smth but they really have stopped growing since the age of 15 or so. They are almost 50 now. Or when I just don't call them because I don't want to get irritated and influenced with another bucnh of negative news, they are like "hey you don't even think about us anymore". Okkayyyy seriously totally understand them, but howwwww am I supposed to communcate with them??? I don't want to become like them. (Just a note I've been trying to listen to them, be patient and so on. This was the worst time in my life. I became exactly like them. Negative. Totally negative) So I ain't trying this no more....
Please help me out with this, I've never been feeling so confused in my life and drained! The problem, at least the main one, is that they have the attitude of knowing everything or enough to get the best out of their lives and do not try to improve at all. Also wanting me to change, to be like them, to live their lives, the way they would like to have lived them Long story short my family has always had everything needed to live happily but never have had! What should I do now?
P.S there are many more details that need to be written in order for you to at least partly understand my situation but I think this is completely enough for now. Please dear community help me! Also if anybody thinks that could really help me but need more info there is my email- firstname.lastname@example.org
UPDATE1: http://textuploader.com/lsdj - a little bit of additional info.