My son's father and I were together until my son was 6.5. We broke up because I found out he had been abusing heroin and stealing thousands of dollars in cash and items from my mother, his friends, myself, and my son.
He continued taking advantage of my niceness after we broke up by talking me into driving him places (that of course he never told me where I was really taking him with our son in the back seat, and more often than not they were places that were too dangerous for us to be involved with) and "loaning" him money, because he knew I would do it for my son's sake.
He did drugs around my son many times (not in front of him), left us sitting in a scary motel room for 4 hours while he took my car to go get drugs (he of course lied to me and said he was just running to the gas station), he took my son with him to get drugs while I let them hang out, and he tried to use my son to get sympathy from people so they would give him money. Over the last 4 years he has been in jail way more than he's been out, and I know he relapsed at least twice since he originally "quit".
So many times I drove my son to places to meet with his dad so they could go hang out, and so many of those times he would either not show up, or he would get there and use the time to try to get something out of me, whatever it was he made it obvious that he wasn't there to hang with our kid. I tried for so long for them to have a good relationship. So many times my child would cry in the backseat of my car as we would turn around and drive back home.
He got out of jail the last time at the beginning of December. He asked to speak to our son, and my kid said he didn't want to speak to him. Of course my ex immediately blamed me, saying I put him up to it or that I was lying. Now he keeps pestering me to talk to our son and get him to speak to him, and that he's his dad so my son "has to talk to him".
My question is, should I force my son to speak to someone who has repeatedly let him down? I don't want to make the wrong choice here, my son has already been through so much, I don't want to do him anymore disservice. Any advice would be welcome. Thank you.