My step son is 5. He's still struggling with the seperation of his parents. We have all been trying to reassure him in this home that he is loved. His father takes him for outings, sometimes, due to supervised visits his father takes his ex wife along too so she can can time in with him.
This is not getting any better, for anyone here. His father and I have a fourteen month old daughter. Who is not getting the same attention from her father. His spare time is dedicated to issues pertaining to his ex wife, work, or just making time to do things with his son.
I get it, she is so very young. She can't do legos with the boys. She can't play board games with them. Or cheer for a sports team with them while they cuddle up and watch a game together.
And with this divide, I feel that his son is being shown that my daughter and I are not as valuable. He makes choices. We revolve her naps/ dinner around his schedule at times. He gets to leave with daddy and go places while we sit home and I prepare dinner.
He has no interest in playing with his sister. None. He will play around her, or play aggressively. I make play dates now, outside of the home during his school time for her. And I see a difference in other older siblings with their younger ones. No child is perfect, and I know we are all responsible for how they learn. I am just growing confused.
We finally had a family outing- all four of us- for the first time in a long while. When we came home, my daughter was by herself playing while he and his father were joking at the dinner table. I was doing dishes. All laughs, but then he came out with it again: He wants his sister and me to leave. He says this probably about once a day at least. Even in passing thought.
He had gotten a bit violent with her before - choking her, kicking her off the couch causing a bad bruise under her eye. He has expressed violent behavior towards the family dog. To be honest, I'm not sure what else to do, and no one seems to think he needs help. Or is doing anything about it. I am not married to his father, I have no rights. I can't do it.
I want my daughter to have her father and brother in her life. I just don't know how to get him to not see her as an enemy?
How to show him that we are family too?