I'm 46 and my wife is 36. I met my wife when she was 28 and I was 38. I already had a 2-year-old child from a previous relationship at the time. When my wife hit 30, she was desperate for children, so we had a baby together and she is now 5 years old. 3 years ago, my wife and I went to court and won residency for my son, who was 7 at the time, due to his mother's inability to look after him. So we then had 2 children living in the same house. A year or so ago, we had another baby boy who is now 15 months old. So to sum up we have my 10-year-old boy, our 5-year-old daughter and our new 15-month-old boy.

My wife wants a 3rd child and I don't as we already have 3 and it is tearing us apart. My wife is desperate for a 3rd child of her own. She is not career-driven and loves being a mother. I do not want another child as we already have 3, We are not financially stable and I will be 50 in 4 years time. I am desperate for a vasectomy and she is desperate for a baby. What do we do as neither will budge? Help please!

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    Have you thought about getting a dog? A small dog that's particularly needy? It will always stay small and need to be babied. This could help her feel like shes always needed even as the kids become more independent. Beyond that you too should see a couples councilor to try to get on the same page. – user7678 Oct 25 '14 at 12:14
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    You have some solid, logical arguments for not having more children, but a desire to have a baby isn't something that is easily "logiced" away. Nobody but you and your wife can settle this, and involving a counselor to help you see each others' perspective will improve your relationship and let you both come to a satisfactory conclusion together. Turning to the internet to reinforce your argument will only encourage both you and her to dig in more stubbornly :) Best of luck to your family. – Acire Oct 25 '14 at 21:47
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    "wife wants a 3rd child and I don't as we already have 3" Reading on, I did understand why you wrote this, but it completely threw me off. – sbi Oct 30 '14 at 9:55