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Today is my 6 year old Niece's birthday and When I called her with wishes, she sounded really sad :(

I understand her parents are mad at her after what she did last year, but she is just a kid.

Last year, when she was in Grade 1, she was caught in the bathroom with a guy of her age. She was just 5 years then and she was not actually doing anything. She admitted she just wanted to see his pee pee.

My sister in law was distressed but explained to her daughter "to not do it" which she did. So my niece and that kid still remained friends as my sister in law felt my niece had learnt her lesson.

One day, she entered my niece's room to give them snacks and discovered The kid's short on the floor and my niece rubbing his Willy and it was aroused. After that incident her parents don't talk to her much, no birthday party, no movies, no friends... Nothing. She is leading a sad lonely life.

Any suggestion or help will be greatly appreciated.

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    Aroused 6yo? Anyway, isolating and alienating her will only make things worse. Consider suggesting seeking professional help, or at least consult a psychologist to see if the kids are OK. – Dariusz Oct 17 '14 at 7:36
  • Even I cant believe a 5 year kid can be aroused. Makes no sense. But my SIL said she saw her Daughter touching his willy. My SIL lives in a country where all this is considered bad before marraige and she is horrified to think her own girl is a sl*t. – Tiffany Oct 17 '14 at 7:38
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    Of course kids can be aroused, why shouldn't that be possible? The kids are exploring - that's a very natural thing in some cultures but even there it can exasperate the parents because they see it with adult eyes. Please see this relevant question and its answers! – Torben Gundtofte-Bruun Oct 17 '14 at 8:45
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    You might want to find out more about the situation. Sexual interest in such young children is often an indicator of sexual abuse. Your niece or her friend might be in some trouble. – Bobo Oct 17 '14 at 15:36
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    Also, while I wouldn't push that it is the case, I will point out that typically no one (even those close to the people involved) have no idea that sexual abuse is going on. After the fact, when questioned, they typically say "I had no idea. He/she (the abuser) was a good person, always friendly, ..." etc, even if the person was family. They never suspected anything until it happened. – Doc Oct 17 '14 at 22:11
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Have you spoken to the parents about this? Parenting is difficult and I could imagine that they are having serious trouble dealing with this situation.

You are not in a position to interfere as long as the parents are not breaking any laws, but you can still show interest and ask questions. If they're already embarrassed by her behavior, they'll probably not feel good about discussing it with you, and you should definitely be careful about giving unsolicited advice. It's a delicate matter even in more accepting cultures!

  • I did speak to her mom but she feels hesitant to talk about this. – Tiffany Oct 17 '14 at 9:15

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