We have a 3 y/o daughter. A few months ago her and I thought it would be best to try and work out our differences by moving into separates homes.
Since then my daughter, now 3 who has always been a really good kid, has started acting out in ways than seems like regression. She is peeing on the floor, yet been potty trained for quite some time, hitting kids at day car, and throwing sand at other babies. It seems like an obvious sign of her stress with our separation, but I don't really know how to handle it. My wife I am brainstormed for ideas and came up with a few, but I wanted to reach out to the parenting community also and and for any thoughts, insights, ideas or suggestions.
Its not a problem about lack of discipline or she would always act like this. From my perspective this is a transitional problem and an overwhelming inability for her to cope with so many changes using regular methods.
Some ideas we came up with:
- Set firmer boundaries.
- Connect with her more individually, when she is only with one parent, lots of one on one time.
- Be attentive as she needs, give here extra guidance and support right now. Undistracted time and attention. (i.e. no tv, or work while we are with her)
How can we prevent this?
- Help remind her of our expectations. be close when she is around the cat or people to help her do the right thing and physically stop her from hitting if need be. No kid wants to keep hitting or feel out of control.
- remind her to pee often or offer diaper if necessary.
- Lots of patience, love, and empathy.
- talk openly about changes to house and routine and how it's a hard transition. let her know she can feel sad, mad, scared and she is always safe with mom or dad and we love her unconditionally.
- Verbalize what she can expect for the day (i.e. we will be together until after your nap, then you will go see mom.)
- self care for myself and my wife to prevent added anger and frustration. She needs us to be as calm and loving as possible in order to feel safe.
- More time outside to get fresh air, sunshine, and play in the dirt.
- Try to have more fun with her. laugh, play, lighten up a bit.
Any other ideas or suggestions? Thanks everyone in advance for taking the time to read this!