Our six-year-old daughter is the eldest of 3 girls: her sisters are 3 years, and 3 months respectively. At varying points during the day she will flare up with rage; the triggers can be play-related (sharing, something not going as expected); conversation-related (us not understanding her, or making decisions she doesn't like); or sibling-related (annoyed by her middle sister). They're strong outbursts: screaming, throwing herself around and lashing out verbally.
Between the outbursts she's loving, humorous and good-natured. She's always affectionate towards her baby sister, but this anger does seem to have surfaced since around the time the baby was born, suggesting a possible link.
Stuff we've tried:
Conversations about it when she's not angry (reasons why, and tactics for helping, namely taking herself away, breathing deeply): she doesn't engage, or if it does register it doesn't seem to help her
Time outs: used consistently ("you need to calm down before we can carry on")
Consequences: used very rarely (denied a story, or play opportunity)
Holding her and talking calmly: tried occasionally - she hates this, and can't wait to get away (she's normally tactile)
Time spent with her alone: not often (1-2 times/week? siblings' needs make this hard). Those times generally pass without incident and happily.
We'd like to be consistent, but with greater confidence that we've chosen the best tactic. I'm certainly starting to doubt the wisdom of the time outs, but don't have any ideas about alternatives.