Hey everyone I have a huge issue I need to talk about..

My 12 year old daughter has been going around having sex with MULTIPLE guys 8 to 10 years older than her and has gotten a STD. I'm worried she might be pregnant.

What do I do?

  • 22
    That'd be rape (in the U.S. at least), regardless of whether it was consensual. Call the cops.
    – Doc
    Jun 6, 2014 at 20:35
  • 6
    How is she meeting these men? Why isn't she at home/school/etc?
    – MGOwen
    Jun 7, 2014 at 1:27
  • 7
    Why was this downvoted? It's a valid question and this parent is probably not the first person to deal with this. If you find the topic controversial, deal with it, but don't downvote it, potentially making any parents with controversial topics not want to use our site to seek legitimate guidance. Jun 7, 2014 at 2:17
  • 3
    @MGOwen - grooming is real and very dangerous. m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-25659042 m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-25450512 etc etc
    – DanBeale
    Jun 7, 2014 at 7:19
  • 4
    I think that the lack of detail here makes the question itself unclear (there's about 100 things they probably need to do), but I'll be honest, I also get the vibe it's not a legit question - only question on the network from the user, no supporting info in the question, no "how did it happen," no "here's what we've done..." I encourage them to elaborate if this is a genuine question.
    – mxyzplk
    Jun 7, 2014 at 14:39

1 Answer 1


Call the police.

Call child protective social services.


Some people may be confused about how the chold is getting access to these men. A ten year old child is not within eyesight all day. The parents may be as protective as they can be but they are no there all the time.

Grooming creates a psychologically very strong bond between the abuser and the victim. Sometimes people do not feel they are the victim of abuse. Sometimes it's hard to get police or child protective services involved - they may say things like "It's just bad parenting"; "the child is a willing child prostitute and there's nothing we can do". Attitudes like that are not acceptable. Parents want to protect their children from harm and they may need to push to get help. I include links from recent notorious cases in the UK where young girls told police and other services that they were being drugged and raped and the police and other services did nothing to protect those children.

Caution: these links contain descriptions of violent sexual attacks on young people.



"We have to remember that in most of those cases, the girls themselves did not regard themselves has victims and were not willing to make complaints and that is still the situation now," he said.

One father called Children's Social Care (CSC) up to 50 times, reporting his daughter's "uncontrollable drinking, running away and difficult behaviour".

Social workers told him she was "a child prostitute", and he accepted this "because he did not know that it was wrong", the review said.

Note that this grooming is AFK (away from keyboard) - it happens in real life situations where young people play and gather.

  • While the term seems reasonably clear as to its meaning, I suspect it's UK-only. You should probably give some explanation as to what it means.
    – user3143
    Jun 7, 2014 at 21:07
  • @DVK What term?
    – DanBeale
    Jun 8, 2014 at 0:13
  • 2
    I would guess "grooming", though I think it makes sense in the US as well.
    – Joe
    Jun 8, 2014 at 5:08
  • 2
    I was confused by the term, so looked it up. It means what one thinks, though still not what I grasped at first. Not sure how it got into the convo as a key part given that there is no direct reference in the question to the victimizers grooming the child to be more susceptible to their violations. Jun 8, 2014 at 6:25
  • 3
    Many parents of victims of grooming start being totally unaware of the grooming. They are told that the child has made a choice to work as a child prostitute or that it is just bad parenting or naughty children. Either way, the course of action is the same. Protect the child; call the police and call child protective social services.
    – DanBeale
    Jun 8, 2014 at 19:24

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