How to prevent my 2-year-old from being bullied by our roommate's child?

Question

I have a 2-year-old daughter and I am currently living with a roommate who also has a 2-year-old daughter.

My roommate's daughter is constantly bullying my daughter by pulling her hair, biting, hitting, taking toys, pushing her down and throwing things at her; It is to the point that my daughter is now scared to even be around her and cries anytime she comes close to her.

This behavior has been happening since we moved in about 6 months ago but comes in and goes.

My roommate disciplines her daughter by removing her from the room but she will just come back and do it again immediately after she walks away from her.

I monitor my daughter constantly when they are together to prevent this and I've spoken with my roommate about this multiple times and warned that if it continues we are moving out.

Besides moving what other advice is there for preventing my daughter from being bullied like this?

Answer 1

Sorry, I would move out. Bullies are quite distressing, but if you have them INSIDE your home, the result is you do not have a place to call home, a safe relaxing, comfortable place. Move out as soon as possible.

Answer 2

The question Joe linked has your answer. In short, the cost of bullying needs to outweigh the benefits the other child gets. Help your daughter come up with strategies that will make bullying not worth it for the bully to continue in her behavior.

Doing that at 2 will be a bit harder, because their verbal repartee is not what it will be in a few years. And I do worry about teaching your child it's okay to fight fire with fire, because that might be hard to unwind later. But until you can move out, you do need to do something. I'm assuming that when you say you "monitor" the children, that you actively interfere when bullying behavior occurs. Do you also bring her mom in when it happens? Do you both try to make clear, as a united front, that her behavior is wrong?

Unfortunately, two is not known as an age of great wisdom and restraint. If you need to keep both girls separated entirely until you guys can move out, that might be your last resort.

My sympathies; the economy makes roommates sometimes a requirement to get by, but you can easily get caught in situations like this. Hang in there!

Answer 3

I had a similar situation, my nephew was doing that to my twins, he actually was younger. My sister told me it was because he never had to share with anyone before we moved in. I got nowhere talking to her, but my twins were getting physically hurt by him. Not to mention confused that he was so mean. He also was getting in trouble at his daycare for the same behavior. Well we moved out, our relationship had gone through a whirlwind.

After we moved out it continued to be a problem for their family and I think they have seen the light.

After seeing them now taking about 6 months for a reunion I have seen a big difference in my nephew, I think they took active measures to resolve his behavior.

It takes an army sometimes ....also I would just watch the playtime with the two kids and as an adult just step in and say that's not nice, we don't treat each other in that way...try to record some of the situation and playback to the parent, seeing it could help them take control of the child without you having to feel you're being a bad guy