That sounds like my one year old. He has a few teeth - 4 of them - but really doesn't make much use of them; incisors aren't that helpful at proper chewing (and he only got the bottom two a month or two ago). He's been shoving food into his face since he was 4 months old, never liked purees. Definitely have had a bunch of choking incidents, although all but one were quickly handled by him (undoubtedly some were 'gagging', but some were definitely choking). The one that we had to help with wasn't too bad, I think a piece of chicken.
Speaking to the psychological factor, I don't really have a good suggestion; you may have to just figure it out yourself with some time. You're a good parent, you were watching very carefully, and you took care of business. If it happens again, you'll do the same. Your baby will learn how to handle solid foods, but the only way she'll learn is by having them and working it out. On the other hand, if you delay things a few weeks, she's not going to be any worse for the wear (as long as it's not several months).
In terms of strategies for the baby, I recommend limiting the amount of food on her plate/tray. Sometimes our youngest does the same thing - overstuffs his face - and we generally remove his food from his tray at that point until he slows down, and then add a bit back at a time. You also could introduce the fork, if you haven't yet; our 12 month old can use a fork more-or-less, and really enjoys it. It serves the dual purpose of taking food to the mouth AND limiting how much can go up at once - especially if you let her feed herself with it rather than helping too much.
Foodwise, the foods you listed sound good (except for gourd, I don't know that I know what that is like). Banana and avocado are excellent, good sources of nutrition both (particularly avocado). I would give relatively large pieces of either; as long as the banana is pretty ripe, she can probably have that whole, and treat it like a lollipop; or if it's easier, cut it in half lengthwise. Avocado we usually slice in thin strips, sort of the size of sliced chicken breast on a chicken caesar salad.
Meats we try to cook in a way that they end up moist and fall apart tender. Braised beef or chicken is probably best, or a pot roast cooked in its juice. Chicken also can be poached at length. In any of those dishes, the meat should end up so tender that you can cut it with a fork, and it turns stringy. Cut it into one inch or so lengths, and use the fork to break it up some. Hamburger works very well - cut it up finely with a fork, make sure it's not overcooked. Crumble is what your'e aiming for. Lunchmeats also work pretty well (she's old enough now not to worry too much about listeria); one inch squares are probably about right if it's thin-sliced or shaved, just don't let it get too piled up.
Breads are also good options. Slice them with no crust if the crust is hard (otherwise don't worry) into long strips. If needed, give one at a time. Bread is very easily gummed.
Other things that might work if supervised, and might especially work when she does teethe, are vegetables, whole or in large slices. Cucumber for example, if you can get a mini-cucumber like Costco around us carries, are great - they are teething helpers AND they eventually fall apart into mush rather than being a chocking risk. Whole carrots or whole celery, same.