The harmful effects of videogames/addiction are predominantly due to an absence of the things you'd otherwise be doing.
Video games are a red herring here. If teens were equally eagerly doing another activity to the same degree, thereby depriving themselves of other life activities, you'd see the same harmful effects. Addiction is addiction, and trying to tailor your parenting solely to video games and nothing else is not going to be the more productive route here.
playing together in-person vs playing alone (regardless of online multiplayer)
Also, especially because of your autistic son, I would suggest you don't dismiss online multiplayer as a third individual option with its own merits here.
Online multiplayer can provide social experiences with the safeguard of being relatively anonymous and able to shut it out at a moment's notice, which might be a very beneficial middle ground for an autistic person who struggles with socialization.
Anonimity cuts both ways though. People online can act in a way that doesn't have to reflect on their personal life. This can lead to intentionally crude behavior, but it can similarly provide your son the ability to experiment with social personas without needing to feel personally committed to them.
I don't know your son, I can't judge if that is a particular struggle for him; but if he struggles with socialization or social anxiety, I'd recommend you explore this avenue as a viable socialization exercise.
Personal note: this is precisely how I learned to manage my social anxiety as a teenager. I migrated from talking to strangers via video games, to talking to real people in my area, to talking to real life classmates via MSN Messenger and the likes, and ended up finding enough confidence to be social in real life.
"mainly I want to use games to get cuddles while I still can."
Be very aware of misincentivization. I'm not saying this is happening right now, but if this is your goal, you are at risk of provoking gaming as an activity not because the child wants to play said video game, but because it wants to please you, or because you subconsciously egg them on.
Doing things without wanting to do them leads to dogmatic behavior which can eventually turn into irrational compulsion if left unchecked.
[your response to the above] you cast any/every social hobby as misincentivization, and that is laughable, but I'll take your warning and look for any sign my kid doesn't want to play video games 🤣
The specific activity is irrelevant for what I'm trying to address. It's the potential pressure coming from an external source and authority figure (you) for an ulterior more (getting cuddles) that can lead to the activity (any activity) being done for a reason other than wanting to engage in the activity itself.
This can be wielded for good (e.g. getting kids to do chores for an ulterior benefit even if they don't like doing chores), but it can also be misapplied and end up creating unhelpful behavioral patterns.
I'm not saying that's what happening here or that that's what definitely will happen; but I am cautioning you ahead of time before it might get to that stage.
Honestly, there's a lot to explore in your question (and it is valuable to answer these things).
I suggest breaking this up into more targeted questions if you want to actually address all of those points. E.g. harm from screen time, benefits of games as mental development tools, avoiding addiction and teaching self-moderation, potentially using videogames as an entry point to socialization for someone who struggles to otherwise socialize, learning as a parent to cope with less physical affection from your children, ...
These are all different goals with different considerations.
