How can I stop my toddler from having nightmares about robots?

Question

When my son was one-and-a-half, my sister gave us a Wall.e Robot toy; it talks when you push buttons and moves back and forth. He loved it.

But all of a sudden a year later he has become terrified of "robots". Even talking apps on a iPhone freaks him out. He has nightmares about robots. He would wake up screaming, saying, "robot coming".

I have taken all "robot" like things away, and it has been almost 2 months since I have taken them, he still talks about robots. I don't allow him to see any movies with robots in them. In fact, he has never even seen Wall.E so I don't know what to do. I have talked to him a lot about how robots aren't here and they aren't coming but he just cries.

He isn't afraid of the vacuum, blender or any other tool or household item. What do I do?

Answer 1

It sounds as if he is not afraid of actual machines, only of imagined ones, right? He's not afraid of the iPhone itself, only of the voices it emits.

You say he still talks about robots. What does he say? What's the focus of his stories? Is there a particular fear that keeps coming back?

I'm thinking that he feels threatened, so it might help to show him that machines are not in fact threatening and that they only do what they're told to. (Don't tell him about the Terminator movies just yet...) Regarding fear of robots, I liked this other answer and also the two comments from HedgeMage about a radio-controlled toddler toy. Even though he is perhaps too young for construction kits, it might help to show him what machines are made of. Take something apart and let him see for himself that there's no part labeled "evil" anywhere. (Again, don't tell him that evil people also don't have any visible label like that. I hope he's too young to ask such a clever question!)

I think it's natural to remove objects that disturb him, so it makes sense that you took his robot toys away. But now he has no physical objects to direct his fears against -- he only has whatever is lingering in his imagination. Imagined stuff may be more difficult for you to address than physical ones, so perhaps it would make sense to re-introduce some of the most passive items (pictures or books, not battery-operated or moving toys). It would give both of you something physical to work with, and it might make it easier for him to tell you more specifically what he's afraid of.

Update regarding books and stories:
The problem with almost all stories involving robots is that even if they end well and are intended for children, they almost always have some real scary robots or other evil characters that make the story less suitable for young children. Even very likable movie robots like those in Robots or Wall-E have some rather brutal opponents. These are of course not aimed at toddler kids.
Keep this in mind and ask the library for stories that have no evil opponents (are aimed at toddlers).

Answer 2

It appears that your son is about 2.5 years old. Keep in mind that toddlers have less ability to know the difference between dreams and reality. Also, nightmares tend to occur with stress in waking life.

With these in mind coach your son about the difference between dreams and reality. Maybe through in the concept of imagination. This may take months to set in. And try to identify any stress in his life and try to minimize it. Remember toddler stress can be very different than your own, and much of it is unavoidable.

Stress questions from FamilyEducation.com

Has he experienced any major change(s) recently?
Did he recently start daycare—or switch to a new daycare setting?
Did you or your partner just start going back to work?
Did you or your partner have to spend a night or two away from home?
Did you just have another baby? Or have you helped your toddler understand that a new baby is on the way?
Have you and your child clashed at all over his struggle to reconcile dependence and independence in eating, walking, and so on?

Answer 3

I find, when my kids wake up with nightmares it is helpful for them if they tell me the nightmare, describing what happens and then, together, we think of an ending. For example, my four year old is afraid of 'bad guys' (whatever that means) and so she tells me that the bad guys come into her room and want to take her, so I ask her who she wants to rescue her (she usually says mommy, but sometimes it is a superhero) and we talk about what I or the superhero would do in the dream (usually it has to do with punching the bad guy in the nose, then having me pick her up and run away). This works as she then has a good, safe ending to the nightmare and she is able to go back to sleep.

Answer 4

Are there things you could do to gradually reduce your son's fears?

My son was afraid of the hoover when he was 2. I think it was the noise that bothered him, and the way that things disappeared into it. The thing that helped him most was learning that he could control the hoover himself. As a result, I've got some great photos of him doing the hoovering!

Here are some things you could try:

1. Make up stories for your son about a friendly silver man who is a hero who loves to save little boys from bad things. Let your son help you make up the stories.
2. Read books about nice friendly robots.
3. Phone up your son and let him talk to you on your iPhone.
4. Buy a nice cute cuddly robot for him, one that he can take to bed.
5. Gradually reintroduce the things that you've taken away. Let his favourite cuddly toys play with them. Show him that you're not afraid of them.
6. Make robots out of old cerial boxes.
7. Let him rescue you from paper robots by tearing them up.

The other thing to bear in mind is your response to your son's fears.

My son is now 7 years old, but still wets the bed. When he does so, he needs a shower in the morning. The important thing is that on days when he doesn't we the bed, he can still have a shower if he wants to. That way, if he wants a shower then he doesn't have to wet the bed to get one.

So (for example) if you only let you're son into your bed when he wakes up worried about robots, then that's just one more reason for him not to let go of his fear. On the other hand, if he can come into your bed (at certain times) anyway, then he's free to let go og the fear without loosing any of its benefits.

Generally, then, continue to comfort and reassure your son when he's frightened, but make sure you offer the same comfort and reassurance at other times, too.

Finally, remember that these fears won't last forever. They're probably very frustrating for him / you / your family at the moment, but in time they are sure to pass.

All the best!