Timeline for What's an appropriate age to involve kids in life changing decisions?
Current License: CC BY-SA 4.0
5 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| Aug 7, 2020 at 12:22 | comment | added | sleske | This, a thousand times. NEVER force the child to pick the "better" parent - they (abuse situations aside) are better off with (access to) both parents, even if they may not realize right now. Forcing a choice is a bit like asking "Do you want to do without food or without drink?" | |
| May 7, 2019 at 18:31 | comment | added | Steve-o169 | This is an excellent point that I was close to making myself. No matter how things unfold between mom and dad, the kids don't need to be involved in that. Give them the main points and don't drag any of the details of why the relationship deteriorated. My girlfriend and her brothers were included in every petty argument when their parents divorced and all of them have some level of emotional disorder from the experience. Ideally, working out your differences is the optimal solution, but do not try to make them decide who they like better. They want both parents in their lives. | |
| May 6, 2019 at 22:50 | comment | added | Steve Shipway | I would agree that you should definitely not ask the child to choose; however, if the child volunteers a strong preference then this should be taken into consideration. Either way, though. someones going to be hurt, especially if it means losing contact with one parent. | |
| May 6, 2019 at 22:36 | comment | added | LordHieros | I don't think it's so cut-and-clear; in my case when my parents separated they didn't ask who I'd rather go with, and I ended more or less runing away from the house of my appointed guardian to the other's quite a lot of times, until I finally got the age qhen I could just choose where to live without anyone being legally capable of telling me otherwise. If I had been able to choose then I would most likely have a way better relationship with the parent I ran away from, since it's still something they are uncomfortable with even 15 years after the fact. | |
| May 6, 2019 at 17:38 | history | answered | user61034 | CC BY-SA 4.0 |