Timeline for How can I deal with adopted son who promised to the god he believes in to never to speak until he sees mommy again, when mommy is dead?
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
18 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| Jun 1, 2018 at 9:17 | vote | accept | edoreld | ||
| Mar 10, 2023 at 8:49 | |||||
| Aug 16, 2017 at 21:55 | answer | added | dsollen | timeline score: 3 | |
| Aug 15, 2017 at 1:30 | comment | added | Robert Columbia | @edoreld you should find out what denomination he believes in. In many (if not most or all) denominations, a promise made by a child may not be valid at all or he may be able to get a release "by the book" by following some procedure (e.g. Confession). A clergy member of the appropriate denomination can assess the situation and advise the child that he will not be punished by God for speaking. | |
| Aug 9, 2017 at 18:30 | comment | added | threetimes | Children who want to remain silent can have wills of steel. That said, he has spoken to you, so odds are you will be able to work through that. Signed mom of a 3 year old who can talk, but generally refuses, then spits out random whole sentences when she feels like it. (Most who know us actually think she is non verbal. I think she is clever & prefers not interacting most of the time so she uses this as a tool. It's cool. She can talk if she wants to, so that is that, I don't worry over it.) | |
| Aug 9, 2017 at 18:16 | review | Close votes | |||
| Aug 11, 2017 at 9:01 | |||||
| Aug 9, 2017 at 13:52 | comment | added | Dan Anderson | Woa, Why are you living in a different country from your 5 year old son? What is his situation in this other country? who is he living with, etc.. . . Your ability to help him heal is going to be much more limited the farther away from each other you are. | |
| Aug 9, 2017 at 2:50 | comment | added | pojo-guy | The son of a friend of mine had Aspergers. He refused to talk to anyone outside of his immediate family and a few close friends. In first grade, a number of teachers thought he was completely non verbal, even though his vocabulary was actually reasonably advanced for his age. By third grade he had outgrown most of his reticence | |
| Aug 9, 2017 at 2:38 | comment | added | pojo-guy | If his promise is a lifelong commitment then he is remarkably disciplined for any age, and he will have to come to some sort of accommodation with the speaking world . If he has started chatting with you even sporadically, then it's probably a phase he will grow out of as he processes his grief . | |
| Aug 8, 2017 at 17:18 | answer | added | Dan Anderson | timeline score: 17 | |
| Aug 8, 2017 at 6:45 | comment | added | edoreld | A child trauma specialist nurse is taking care of him. I was telling him a story on the phone (we live in different countries atm), then he suddenly started chatting with me. So he told me about his promise. He likes to write. There haven't been Y/N questions yet, but try to talk to him like an adult, like saying clearly what mommy did and that she's not coming back. Yes, there is a priest that comes and talks to him sometimes. He believes in the Christian god. I am not sure which denomination. What if his promise is a life-long commitment? | |
| Aug 8, 2017 at 5:44 | history | tweeted | twitter.com/StackParenting/status/894796321797939200 | ||
| Aug 8, 2017 at 3:23 | comment | added | pojo-guy | Recognize his commitment as real, even if it is inconvenient. You can't make him talk, and he is showing remarkable self disciplineTeach him to read and write. It will allow him to communicate while honoring his commitment. When he decides that he is ready, he will talk. The hard part will be keeping the environment supportively respectful so he doesn't fall into self condemnation when he does start to speak. | |
| Aug 8, 2017 at 0:04 | comment | added | MAA | Do you have someone (an adult) of this child's religion that you can talk to? What religion is it? (That may help some people with providing answers, esp if they are familiar with it) | |
| Aug 7, 2017 at 21:07 | comment | added | anongoodnurse | How did you find out about this promise? Whom did he tell? Will he write (you mentioned way maturity)? How do you deal with answers that are not Y/N type? | |
| Aug 7, 2017 at 20:47 | comment | added | Acire | Have you considered, or is he already in, therapy? | |
| Aug 7, 2017 at 20:27 | answer | added | T. Sar | timeline score: 2 | |
| Aug 7, 2017 at 20:11 | review | First posts | |||
| Aug 7, 2017 at 23:20 | |||||
| Aug 7, 2017 at 20:06 | history | asked | edoreld | CC BY-SA 3.0 |