Return to Answer

[...] I'm a parent and [...] I use this punishment [...]

 

I'm looking for any criticisms you might have, so feel free to shout at me in the comments.

[...] I'm a parent and [...] I use this punishment [...]

I'm looking for any criticisms you might have, so feel free to shout at me in the comments.

Example: they have been rude to you for the last 30 minutes when you were driving in your car with them. You pass your favourite ice cream parlour; they want ice. It is perfectly valid (and "enough") to calmly tell them that due to all the recent bickering you are not really in the mood for ice right now. You do not make it about how respectless they are, or that you don't want to spend the money, or whatever. Just make sure they know that you are disappointed and not in the mood; they cannot argue with that. It is not punishment "you did X to me, so I do Y to you", but it teaches them that if they drive someone mad, that has a direct effect in itself.

Example: They don't want to brush their teeth? Fine! After a few months let them see how they like it at the dentist's... (of course, this also needs to be age appropriate, obviously).

There is a book "The Entitlement Trap" which has a very elaborate scheme to get rid of all possible reasons for fighting, if you wish to go this way. Some people may think all of this is too much "capitalism", but if you are not against that out of principle, their "game rules" certainly are logically watertight.

There is a book "The Entitlement Trap" which has a very elaborate scheme to get rid of all possible reasons for fighting, if you wish to go this way. Some people may think all of this is too much "capitalism", but if you are not against that out of principle, their "game rules" certainly are logically watertight. They also manage to put a lot of positive connotations into the matter - i.e., it is a family activity, not just a payment scheme.