I disagree that "they/them" is easier to parse; it's plural so it's confusing when applied to one singular noun.
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If parents give a spank to their child, this is considered violence and as such frowned upon - and in some countries simply a crime under the law.

In my observation, parents who don't want to spank often resort to things like grounding, canceling birthday party, sending the child to bed without dinner, shaming themhim/her in front of theirhis/her friends, holding announced gifts etc. for punishment.

Is it correct to consider the latter as "non-violent" forms of punishment? They certainly amount to psychological violence, and the pain they generate can be greater and more long-lasting than a spank, plus a spank is usually delivered right away after the child's bad behavior, while things like grounding or holding a gift are supposed to "teach the lesson" even long after the child already forgot the link between that and theirhis/her bad behavior so there is the risk that the child will simply feel that the parents are "evil" to themhim/her for no reason, although not physically violent.

On the other hand a physical punishment doesn't exactly sound like a very thought-through way to go, plus many parents just feel too bad doing that and simply cannot do that.

I'm talking about age 4-5.

If parents give a spank to their child, this is considered violence and as such frowned upon - and in some countries simply a crime under the law.

In my observation, parents who don't want to spank often resort to things like grounding, canceling birthday party, sending the child to bed without dinner, shaming them in front of their friends, holding announced gifts etc. for punishment.

Is it correct to consider the latter as "non-violent" forms of punishment? They certainly amount to psychological violence, and the pain they generate can be greater and more long-lasting than a spank, plus a spank is usually delivered right away after the child's bad behavior, while things like grounding or holding a gift are supposed to "teach the lesson" even long after the child already forgot the link between that and their bad behavior so there is the risk that the child will simply feel that the parents are "evil" to them for no reason, although not physically violent.

On the other hand a physical punishment doesn't exactly sound like a very thought-through way to go, plus many parents just feel too bad doing that and simply cannot do that.

I'm talking about age 4-5.

If parents give a spank to their child, this is considered violence and as such frowned upon - and in some countries simply a crime under the law.

In my observation, parents who don't want to spank often resort to things like grounding, canceling birthday party, sending the child to bed without dinner, shaming him/her in front of his/her friends, holding announced gifts etc. for punishment.

Is it correct to consider the latter as "non-violent" forms of punishment? They certainly amount to psychological violence, and the pain they generate can be greater and more long-lasting than a spank, plus a spank is usually delivered right away after the child's bad behavior, while things like grounding or holding a gift are supposed to "teach the lesson" even long after the child already forgot the link between that and his/her bad behavior so there is the risk that the child will simply feel that the parents are "evil" to him/her for no reason, although not physically violent.

On the other hand a physical punishment doesn't exactly sound like a very thought-through way to go, plus many parents just feel too bad doing that and simply cannot do that.

I'm talking about age 4-5.

minor spelling, gender-neutral "them" instead of "his/her" is easier to parse, removed meta comment (not longer needed after 4 years), updated tags ("misbehavior" doesn't fir, added age tag)
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If parents give a spank to their child, this is considered violence and as such frownfrowned upon - and in some countries simply a crime under the law.

In my observation, parents who don't want to spank often resort to things like grounding, canceling birthday party, sending the child to bed without dinner, shaming him/herthem in front of his/hertheir friends, holding announced gifts etc. for punishment.

Is it correct to consider the latter as "non-violent" forms of punishment  ? They certainly amount to psychological violence, and the pain they generate can be greater and more long-lasting than a spank, plus a spank is usually delivered right away after the child's bad behavior, while things like grounding or holding a gift are supposed to "teach the lesson" even long after the child already forgot the link between that and his/hertheir bad behavior so there is the risk that the child will simply feel that the parents are "evil" to him/herthem for no reason, although not physically violent.

On the other hand a physical punishment doesn't exactly sound like a very thought-through way to go, plus many parents just feel too bad doing that and simply cannot do that.

I'm talking about age 4-5.

ADDED: I'm new here and I just realized that it's very important to keep the question as one question, which I think makes a lot of sense. So the question here is just the one in the title and I just removed the last paragraph because it contained a separate question. If I come to the conclusion that non-physical punishments must still be considered violence I will perhaps post a new question about which one of those two types of violence is most harmful. Sorry for the confusion.

If parents give a spank to their child, this is considered violence and as such frown upon - and in some countries simply a crime under the law.

In my observation, parents who don't want to spank often resort to things like grounding, canceling birthday party, sending the child to bed without dinner, shaming him/her in front of his/her friends, holding announced gifts etc. for punishment.

Is it correct to consider the latter as "non-violent" forms of punishment  ? They certainly amount to psychological violence, and the pain they generate can be greater and more long-lasting than a spank, plus a spank is usually delivered right away after the child's bad behavior, while things like grounding or holding a gift are supposed to "teach the lesson" even long after the child already forgot the link between that and his/her bad behavior so there is the risk that the child will simply feel that the parents are "evil" to him/her for no reason, although not physically violent.

On the other hand a physical punishment doesn't exactly sound like a very thought-through way to go, plus many parents just feel too bad doing that and simply cannot do that.

I'm talking about age 4-5.

ADDED: I'm new here and I just realized that it's very important to keep the question as one question, which I think makes a lot of sense. So the question here is just the one in the title and I just removed the last paragraph because it contained a separate question. If I come to the conclusion that non-physical punishments must still be considered violence I will perhaps post a new question about which one of those two types of violence is most harmful. Sorry for the confusion.

If parents give a spank to their child, this is considered violence and as such frowned upon - and in some countries simply a crime under the law.

In my observation, parents who don't want to spank often resort to things like grounding, canceling birthday party, sending the child to bed without dinner, shaming them in front of their friends, holding announced gifts etc. for punishment.

Is it correct to consider the latter as "non-violent" forms of punishment? They certainly amount to psychological violence, and the pain they generate can be greater and more long-lasting than a spank, plus a spank is usually delivered right away after the child's bad behavior, while things like grounding or holding a gift are supposed to "teach the lesson" even long after the child already forgot the link between that and their bad behavior so there is the risk that the child will simply feel that the parents are "evil" to them for no reason, although not physically violent.

On the other hand a physical punishment doesn't exactly sound like a very thought-through way to go, plus many parents just feel too bad doing that and simply cannot do that.

I'm talking about age 4-5.

amend tags
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Tweeted twitter.com/#!/StackParenting/status/541997493845000192
Removed separate question
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"non-violent" corrected into "non-physical"
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