I understand my 9 year old is at the age where children are beginning to assert their independence and are about to begin cutting the apron strings. From my experience with his big brother, I understand that, apparently, boys really don't want their moms to volunteer at middle school, for one.. fathers are a different matter: you can be called a mama's boy, but not a daddy's boy, right?

In any case, this is not middle school yet. This is a gifted student program (where everybody is a geek and a mama's boy to a degree and there are no bullies), in a district where parents are known to volunteer a lot and keep a close eye on the kids at school.

So, as a single(ish) mother, what is my role then?

We are at the phase where my son is very affectionate in private, wants to sleep in my bed, can't tell me enough times how much he loves me; he is still OK with me volunteering. However, should I do something that does not meet his strict expectations at school (such as sit where other people apparently don't sit), he has tears running down his cheeks, he shows me his fist, and, worst of all, he is very public about admonishing me and publicly yells at me for "embarrassing him".

On some point, I understand what's going on; but, in our culture especially, family comes first and respect for parents is important. I don't think this behavior would be OK in any culture though.. he would not think about treating this way his teacher or principal, wherever he happened to sit.

I am certainly going to have a talk with him. What are your opinions about how to navigate this stage?

I understand my 9 year old is at the age where children are beginning to assert their independence and are about to begin cutting the apron strings. From my experience with his big brother, I understand that, apparently, boys really don't want their moms to volunteer at middle school, for one.. fathers are a different matter: you can be called a mama's boy, but not a daddy's boy, right?

In any case, this is not middle school yet. This is a gifted student program (where everybody is a geek and a mama's boy to a degree and there are no bullies), in a district where parents are known to volunteer a lot and keep a close eye on the kids at school.

So, as a single(ish) mother, what is my role then?

We are at the phase where my son is very affectionate in private, wants to sleep in my bed, can't tell me enough times how much he loves me; he is still OK with me volunteering. However, should I do something that does not meet his strict expectations at school (such as sit where other people apparently don't sit), he has tears running down his cheeks, he shows me his fist, and, worst of all, he is very public about admonishing me and publicly yells at me for "embarrassing him".

On some level, I understand what's going on; but, in our culture especially, family comes first and respect for parents is non-negotiable. I don't think this behavior would be OK in any culture though.. he would not think about treating his teacher or principal this way, wherever he happened to sit.

I am certainly going to have a talk with him. What are your opinions about how to navigate this stage?