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Dec
17
comment Is it ok to disagree in front of the kids?
Disagree, yes. Argue, no. Peacefully resolving disagreements is a valuable skill to learn. Rules/consequences, however, should always be agreed upon in advance, ideally in advance of having children so that disagreement doesn't happen over those. "When two people always agree, one of them isn't necessary." (Wish I could source that.)
Dec
2
comment Should I let my son see his dad
Is there any reasonable chance of a rational discussion of the complete problem with your ex? Can he be trusted in terms of a future agreement about (his/)your son?
Nov
12
comment Mom too worried with germs and disease
A couple months of general isolation to mom and dad are usually good; a year is too much. Once baby's skin is populated with his/her own personal colony of familiar "bugs", that's probably the best first-line of defense. A couple months allows the colonization by most things that are in the common environment and generates the immune reactions to them. And then, scrubbing that layer off becomes a questionable act. Simple soapy rinsing is enough.
Oct
21
comment Why do kids pick up on violence in cartoons/movies?
First, because it's different from normal life. Copying normal behavior wouldn't even be noticed (by you) and kids wouldn't think to copy it. Second, it gets reactions. Third, it apparently isn't properly discouraged in cases you mention. (Blame parents at some point.) Finally, I very rarely have seen similar cases. Definitely not often enough to think twice about it. But then, I'm only 65. Maybe I'll see it more eventually.
May
25
comment My 13-year-old son made a foolish and wasteful donation. How can I teach him he was wrong?
No shirt no shoes no service was one of my early thoughts, and I'd wait to replace any shoes until that consequence was learned by the boy himself. Of course, it might never be. Any winter walks will probably teach a lesson first.
May
10
comment Should an adult pay rent to his child?
@CreationEdge That would be valid, but might take a fairly rare balance of personality traits (if it's the major deciding factor). The offspring would be self-aware enough to recognize inability to handle finances effectively, yet be aware of a potential advantage of 'investing' in parental management. It does have some reason outside of emotion, though.
May
8
comment Should an adult pay rent to his child?
@CreationEdge ...don't see why you wouldn't seems to be "feelings" based rather than having a rational foundation, unless you can offer a rational justification that overcomes both main points of my answer. And as I noted, such situations work themselves out naturally if the relationship was well cultured. I.e., it shouldn't be a surprise if offspring willingly pay rent. Also, even into adulthood, some offspring still need to be reminded to pay their own way; I can't guess when any given parental obligation might end.
May
8
answered Should an adult pay rent to his child?
May
4
awarded  Yearling
May
2
answered Why would you lie to your children about Santa?
Mar
16
awarded  Commentator
Mar
8
comment Should I allow or forbid my son to visit the education of a religion that I do not share?
Very difficult question. I don't envy you. The conflicting elements of joining peers, fantasy biblical stories, impressionable youths, a school requirement that influences towards religion and a concerned parent make it nearly (completely?) impossible to find a proper balance. I disagree with the school policy at that age, but can't guess how it can be approached. Here (USA), I'd switch schools before that requirement arrived. Too late in your situation. You can only keep communication open with your son.
Feb
18
comment Should I cut my child's dad out of his life?
Is a third prison stay likely to make the choice for you ('3rd strike')? If so, is that a risk that changes the father's approach to life?
Dec
6
comment How to answer someone who says, “What he needs is a good spanking!”
"Ah!... So you're the cause of today's violent street gangs."
Dec
6
comment How to answer someone who says, “What he needs is a good spanking!”
Maybe you can acknowledge that commonality, saying something like, "Tantrums are a challenge, aren't they?" "No, they just need a good spanking to get rid of." Unfortunately, that's essentially what the other woman was already communicating and what the OP wants to counter (in a short interaction). But the general slant of your answer is worth keeping in mind.
Sep
29
comment What's wrong with Dr Seuss?
+1 primarily for YOU ARE THE PARENT! Beyond your uses of the phrase, the single largest reason for it, IMO, is in discussions about what happens in the books. Discussion should take place while reading parts, as well as after finishing. Reading to the child from anything helps in bonding, but discussing what is read is critical in forming character. The books in themselves only teach about behaviors if there is no moderation from the parent who should provide social context. By adding discussion, the child learns about the wider social consequences.
Jun
17
comment Should I stop my mother in law visiting when she doesn't respect me as the father figure?
Great answer. Perhaps I feel that way because almost every point matched with how I handled a very similar situation, but it's a great answer regardless. My fundamental base was in our traditional marriage vows that included "forsaking all others". I never took that to mean only "forsaking only those with whom I might be sexually unfaithful", but rather that spouses become #1 in each others' lives. Parents become secondary,... until children arrive; then they're another level removed. Either spouses believe in their vows, or they don't.
Apr
23
answered Is it worth sending a kid to a Montessori school?
Apr
19
comment Classmates choosing soccer tournament over my sons birthday party
What did your son say? Any chance he'd like to go watch with the others (or cheer them on if they're playing) and have a party with them later?
Apr
19
comment How to deal with “no”?
Examples of specific "no" situations are needed. Some are acceptable while others can have specific counteractions.