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Apr
17
comment What should children call a step-grandparent?
@Erik - We've never told the kids what to call "Mr. Joe" other than when we first introduced him to them by calling him "Mr. Joe". The only person who had a problem with that, as far as I know, was my mom. If my kids took it upon themselves to call him Grampa then I wouldn't stop them. When I originally asked the question I was simply looking for some compromise that both my mom and myself would like. In the end, it turned out that "Mr. Joe" is "Mr. Joe" to my kids and that doesn't downplay his importance at all and he is satisfied with them calling him "Mr. Joe".
Apr
9
comment I don't want to be a father
Being happy or unhappy is not something that just happens to you. Your internal thinking, mindset and choices have far, far more to do with your happiness level than anything external to you. There are extremely happy people with very little in life and there are extremely unhappy people who seem to have it all. These are choices the people make, mostly subconsciously. So I can guarantee you that if you don't learn to control your negative thought processes then you are going to end up miserable again even if you polyamorously have 10 or 15 women at the same time. It isn't them, it's YOU.
Apr
9
comment I don't want to be a father
@Telastyn:It doesn't matter if she wanted to "trap" the OP or not. When you choose to have sex, you are also choosing to risk facing the consequences. So NO, it doesn't matter at all what she did, let alone "it totally matters". All the OP can control is what they did and the OP made a choice that had risks and must now face the consequences.
Mar
11
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Feb
24
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Feb
24
comment What should children call a step-grandparent?
@Jared Why does it matter? Words matter. I have a definition of grandparent in my mind based on my relationship with my grandparents. Grandma and Grandpa(and variations) means something to me. Just like the phrase "I Love You or I Love xyz" is a phrase I only use in a very meaningful and specific context. If I say it then it truly puts a "special" meaning to the person. I do know there are others where that phrase has little "depth". They say it all the time. I Love that group, I love John he is so funny. "Love" has little meaning to that person. "Love" has lots of meaning to me. Words matter.
Jun
17
comment Should we force our son to have hobbies?
Most people don't look at computers as a waste of time for kids, quite the contrary. However, when that is all the kids do then it is a waste of their childhood and stunts their development. Moderation! You are only a child for a short period of time, you'll be an adult for a LOT longer. Do KID things while you are a kid. You can't go back. Adults without proper social skills tend to have a harder time in their adulthood than those with social skills. You are only 21, but you'll learn that your social skills will have a MUCH larger impact on your career growth than your technical skills.
Jun
17
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Jun
17
answered Should we force our son to have hobbies?
Mar
25
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30
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Apr
29
comment What should children call a step-grandparent?
I agree with your opinion. Everyone seems happy too me. However, my mom has been pushing the issue a little bit and I can see her point. That's why I'm interested in some compromise win-win solution such as an alternative name that doesn't necessarily imply he's grampa.
Apr
29
comment What should children call a step-grandparent?
@Michael: Both my mom and dad remarried, a couple of times each. I never considered any of their new spouses mom or dad, while technically they were. Is being grandma and grampa as important as mom and dad? In many cases not, and if that is how one believes then I wouldn't have any issues. But in my life my grandparents on my mother's side were extremely important, so the titles mean a lot too me. So just like my parents remarrying didn't make their new spouses mom or dad, my mom remarrying doesn't make her spouse grampa, even if he probably has earned it.
Apr
29
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Apr
29
revised What should children call a step-grandparent?
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Apr
29
comment What should children call a step-grandparent?
In principle I agree that the role is more important. However, when one party can't fulfill that role because they passed away, then I can't help but feel that it is disrpespecting of that person's memory to give the title of what would have been their role to someone else. It would have been cool if the kids came up with something on their own but they are now firmly entrenched with Mr. Joe unless we tell them to call him something else.
Apr
29
comment What should children call a step-grandparent?
+1 - "Mr. Joe" is definately a phrase filled with positive emotions for the kids. The kids warmly accept him. I think my mom wants to change the name in order to make Mr. Joe feel like he is more important in the kids life. After all, they've called him Mr. Joe from the first day they met him and he has earned a much higher level of importance since then. So I agree in that regard. It is simply the grampa (and variants) title that I am having problems with since they already have 2 grampas (one of whom passed away).
Apr
29
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Apr
29
comment What should children call a step-grandparent?
Thanks for the list. Unfortunately, I didn't care for any of them but that doesn't mean my mom, the kids and Mr. Joe won't also, so I'll forward it on to them for an opinion.
Apr
29
comment What should children call a step-grandparent?
I guess titles are important too me. I can't imagine not having my kids call me dad, as your husband does with his parents. It would break my heart. It would also break my heart if I were to get divorced and my wife remarried and they called some other guy dad. Fortunately, that divorce thing isn't an issue:) I am kind of looking at things from this point of view. I was hoping to find some title that gives importance but isn't taking the grampa title from their grampa.