18,641 reputation
22585
bio website softwarewhys.wordpress.com
location Huntsville, AL
age 39
visits member for 3 years, 7 months
seen 1 hour ago

We had many hours of training to be foster parents for a year, and were reimbursed our expenses by the county, so I jokingly say we were professional parents. We have witnessed the effects of very bad parenting first hand, and learned many different ways to reverse those effects, often with professional guidance.

We've parented a wide gamut of children. Some of our foster children were of a different ethnicity than us. Our oldest daughter has cerebral palsy, we adopted our son, and our youngest was a surprise baby after thinking we couldn't have children without fertility treatments.

After she was born our plate was too full to continue fostering, but we are grateful for the experience, and I hope to be able to pass on some of what we have learned on this site. In a few years when we have teens I expect you all to return the favor.

We recently started homeschooling our children, which should be a source of interesting questions.


Nov
13
comment The great debate: Minivan or SUV
@Joe, if you feel an edit would improve the question, please feel free to do so.
Nov
13
comment The great debate: Minivan or SUV
I like how my parents put it when I was learning to drive. 4WD helps you start, but doesn't help you stop.
Nov
13
comment Parents' experience of leaving water warts (molluscum contagiosum) untreated?
Thanks for sharing your experience. I removed the part about the treatment. See the meta discussion about this question for more information.
Nov
13
comment Assertiveness for 6-year-olds
Thanks for the feedback. I made a bad assumption because usually those traits go together. See my edits.
Nov
12
comment Explaining mental illness to children
That's a good point, @Joe. I would probably word a response to that follow-up like, "Her brain works differently than most people's do, which makes her get worried about things you don't need to worry about."
Nov
12
comment Explaining mental illness to children
Thanks for toning it down, so your good points don't get lost. +1 from me after your edits. I too know adults who took a very long time to get over the effects of having their feelings "protected" as a child. Candor in these sorts of cases is uncomfortable for adults, but critical for children. Tact is important too, but in my experience people tend to err too far in that direction. If you don't feel like you're being a little untactful in these situations, you're probably not being honest enough.
Nov
3
comment TV shows for toddlers that don't teach bad gender and race dynamics
Please take discussion to Parenting Chat. Also, if you have an answer, create an answer. Please don't answer in the comments.
Nov
2
comment Encouraging independence
That's the thing. As far as I can tell, he's not initiating a decision-making process at all. He's going with whatever's right in front of him for no particular reason. When we trigger him to make a conscious decision, he usually makes a good one with little or no input from us.
Oct
31
comment Encouraging independence
I've asked him before, @DanBeale, but I usually don't ask because he usually doesn't know. It just plain doesn't occur to him.
Oct
17
comment What are these? Received from children's centre in free pack
What else is in the pack? Maybe the context will help.
Oct
16
comment Extrovert child forcing his company on others
It's no more reasonable to expect an extrovert to never have to be alone than it is to expect an introvert to never have to be around other people. I'm not trying to change my son. I'm trying to give him tools to cope and consider others' feelings during the 8% of his day that doesn't revolve around his needs.
Oct
9
comment Caring for the Children of Deceased Parents
I agree that's the ideal situation, @anongoodnurse. However, I would split my kids up among family in a heartbeat if it avoided splitting them up among foster homes.
Oct
3
comment Is one entitled to give parenting advice when they've never had kids?
You make a good point, +1. Even if non-parents can't solve a problem, they can often bring a valuable perspective. Thanks for the answer and welcome to Parenting.SE!
Aug
20
comment Destructive when unattended
Those ideas might work for naptime, but I'm not seeing it for night time.
Aug
18
comment What safe ways are there to get a baby to sneeze?
I accidentally nicked the tip of my nose last week while shaving (I was still waking up, okay?), and used a styptic pencil to stop the bleeding, which stings like crazy. Made me sneeze around 6 times, big sneezes too. Oh wait, you said "safe." :-)
Aug
13
comment At what week will the doctor be able to determine my Baby's Sex
Considering my 6 year-old nephew was thought to be a girl until the actual birth, I'd say 40 weeks :-)
Jul
31
comment Helping a child independently make logical connections
That's a good idea, @Ida, and something we already do but could step up. He also favors repetition over exploration in creative play. See this previous question of mine where I asked about him building the same lego designs over and over.
Jul
31
comment Helping a child independently make logical connections
We already do the education tailoring as much as possible. That's why we are homeschooling and why he is reading as well as he is. However, at some point he needs a minimal proficiency in this skill. I especially like the focus training idea. It will take time to learn, but it would be nice for him to have a "standard operating procedure" for those situations.
Jul
3
comment Child (4-11) does not get into any of their preferred schools - now what? (UK)
I think it's an interesting question, though. I'll put some of my thoughts in Parenting Chat.
Jul
3
comment Child (4-11) does not get into any of their preferred schools - now what? (UK)
This question appears to be off-topic because it is about a legal matter rather than parenting.