21,160 reputation
32994
bio website softwarewhys.wordpress.com
location Huntsville, AL
age 39
visits member for 3 years, 11 months
seen 2 hours ago

We had many hours of training to be foster parents for a year, and were reimbursed our expenses by the county, so I jokingly say we were professional parents. We have witnessed the effects of very bad parenting first hand, and learned many different ways to reverse those effects, often with professional guidance.

We've parented a wide gamut of children. Some of our foster children were of a different ethnicity than us. Our oldest daughter has cerebral palsy, we adopted our son, and our youngest was a surprise baby after thinking we couldn't have children without fertility treatments.

After she was born our plate was too full to continue fostering, but we are grateful for the experience, and I hope to be able to pass on some of what we have learned on this site. In a few years when we have teens I expect you all to return the favor.

We also began homeschooling our children after having multiple problems at public school. My son went from behind in reading to 2 or 3 grade levels ahead.


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comment How to spank in public without having everyone around you assume you're a child abuser?
You also might be surprised what they teach in those parenting classes. When we took them to become foster parents, our teacher was in general a strong advocate of spanking one's permanent children, although for foster children it's illegal in our state and otherwise a bad idea because of their previous trauma. I'm sure that varies depending on where you go, though.
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comment How to spank in public without having everyone around you assume you're a child abuser?
Also, not all CPS referrals result in some sort of action. I'm pretty sure we were covertly investigated in the hospital after our daughter accidentally drove her wheelchair down the stairs. We were introduced to two "nursing students" who curiously had no mentor and spent several hours observing no one else but us, and only asking questions that made them sound more like cops than nurses. (She's not allowed upstairs anymore, by the way. Ever. We sold the lift.)
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comment How to spank in public without having everyone around you assume you're a child abuser?
Yeah, don't really blame you there. That's why I have the "make sure it works" rule. At that point you're just taking out your own frustrations.
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comment How to spank in public without having everyone around you assume you're a child abuser?
Please take discussion on this question's premise to Parenting Chat.
Mar
24
comment Thumbs splitting from changing nappies & repeated hand washing
Just curious, why just the one thumb?
Mar
21
comment Thumbs splitting from changing nappies & repeated hand washing
Normally, I'd agree @Beofett, but I think we may have an example of an XY problem. I've been changing diapers for 11 years and never known it to create this sort of problem in myself or others. Tomh, could you add some details about your process?
Mar
20
comment Is non-professional homeschooling detrimental to children?
@anongoodnurse, I did mention the self-selection bias. I'll leave it to others to present other cons. There are certainly no shortage of critics.
Mar
18
comment How can I handle a situation with a faulty, cruel teacher that does not like me and takes it out on my child?
You got flagged for a lot of edits on this post. Please try to consolidate changes into fewer edits.
Mar
17
comment Is organic whole cow's milk better than “toddler milk” powder for a 1 year old?
Please take discussion of this question's content to this meta question.
Mar
16
comment How do you raise an intelligent and happy daughter in a sexist world?
Yes, that's why I called it an extreme example, but the abuse mostly manifested in the isolation itself.
Feb
18
comment Just found out my 13 year old girl is Bi and dating a 17 year old girl in an “open” relationship. Huh? Now what?
@likejiujitsu, there are 15 comments you can't see because I deleted them. My admonition to take it to chat was directed to those people, not to the answer itself.
Feb
4
comment My 2 1/2 year old has no appetite
+1 for the journal. It could also lead them to realize she is eating more than they thought she was.
Jan
24
comment Are there resources that provide collections of good math training activities?
Just Google for "Singapore math".
Jan
23
comment How can we get our 5 year old to behave during eating, without us nagging all the time?
If that is working for you, by all means make the manners your next priority. My daughter doesn't each much at dinner either.
Jan
22
comment How can we get our 5 year old to behave during eating, without us nagging all the time?
Normally, I would agree with you, @RubberDuck, but I think that's problematic with this particular child's medical history. People like that don't respond in a normal manner to hunger.
Jan
21
comment How can we get our 5 year old to behave during eating, without us nagging all the time?
Yes, this is one of those situations where it has to get worse before it gets better. Trust me though, it will get better.
Jan
21
comment How can we get our 5 year old to behave during eating, without us nagging all the time?
I think the speed is important, because otherwise she will drag it out all night. Set an amount and set a timer. If she's not done when the timer rings, impose a consequence and start again. It won't speed her up the first day, but if the consequence is bad enough, it will work within a few weeks. I've done it before, multiple times. Works great with a dessert incentive too. If you're not ready when everyone else is ready for dessert, you don't get any.
Dec
18
comment Building self-esteem while encouraging a tidy, acceptable appearance
I think you've gotten her off to a great start.
Dec
12
comment what to do when the father makes poor personal choices (not necessarily a bad father)
This is really a broader problem than can be adequately addressed in an internet question and answer site. Please consider seeking help with an organization for families of alcoholics, like Al-Anon.
Dec
8
comment Son (22) has to keep initiating contact between son and parents after moving out
Do you mean diseased or deceased?