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Jan
13
comment How do I do my daughter's hair?
Try different size hair ties... and practice. My daughter's caretaker could get hair ties in her hair for months before I developed the knack. I assumed she had smaller fingers than me, too, but now I can do it easily, and I don't know what changed.
Jan
13
revised How to teach civil rights to children who don't know about racism?
added 381 characters in body
Jan
11
answered How to teach civil rights to children who don't know about racism?
Jan
10
comment How to break the cycle of lies?
I agree the proper natural consequence would be his dad not trusting him/checking everything he says, but that won't work unless he learns to value trust. And I think the "contest" was clouding this issue. Trust between people who love each other is a warm and wonderful thing; having it makes you stronger against all the things that go wrong in life. If he can come to see this, then not having his dad's trust would be worse than losing a cookie. Though I have to admit, I don't know if this might be harder because of the ADHD; but it can't hurt to try.
Jan
10
revised How to break the cycle of lies?
more detail
Jan
10
answered How to break the cycle of lies?
Jan
9
comment How to break the cycle of lies?
What is his attitude while he is lying, and what is his attitude at other times? Does he seem generally happy when he does it? resentful? fearful? stubborn? teasing? Does he look right at you with wide eyes? Most importantly, does it seem like he thinks he is fooling you? (You see where I'm going with this... wondering whether he's caught up in the cycle himself, is unaware there is a cycle, or feels he is being kept on too tight a leash and has found this way to push your buttons/get some freedom.)
Jan
9
revised Helping my Whirling Dervish to slow down
added 681 characters in body
Jan
7
revised How can self-consciousness be taught?
added 670 characters in body
Jan
7
comment How can self-consciousness be taught?
You are not specifically trying to get your child to want the approval of whoever-happens-to-be-around-him-right-now at all. You want to teach a child to be a good friend, and in general to be kind and considerate, the same way you teach a child to be honest and brave. If you teach your child these things, he will be a pleasure to be around, and other children will want to be friends with him.
Jan
6
comment What to do when an eight-year old says “sorry” in a not sorry voice
+1 for "Should I believe you right now? What are you actually apologizing for and what promise are you making right now?" I like that instead of accusing the child of not sounding sorry (a sure way to start a "verbal fight"), you are asking the child for more information -- less in that for the child to take umbrage at, but not letting it go, either.
Jan
6
awarded  Critic
Jan
6
comment What do you say when your child says “You're mean!”
I have a work friend who also says this, very cheerfully, whenever she gets this, but I've never seen her with her kids, so I can't tell whether I like it or not. By which I mean: for her kids; I know it doesn't fit my daughter's personality. (I thought it sounded cool, so I tried it, and she asked, with tears in her eyes, "Why would you want to be mean to me?" I thought "Good question" and apologized, backtracked, and tried something else. But I can see it might fit some other parent-kid personality combination.
Jan
3
comment How do you respond to your pre-schooler when they tell you that you're on Santa's Naughty List?
I hope you don't mind: I just broadened this question (I think... though maybe that's not the part you were interested in?) and posted it in that form. I'm really interested in this, so I hope you'll keep us up to date on how your "naughty parent" situation turns out.
Jan
3
asked What do you say when your child says “You're mean!”
Jan
3
comment How do I convince a stubborn 8 year old that the parents are supposed to be in charge?
Poking around, I found the following related question; you could see if it helps... parenting.stackexchange.com/q/3628/4975
Jan
3
answered How do you respond to your pre-schooler when they tell you that you're on Santa's Naughty List?
Jan
2
comment How do I convince a stubborn 8 year old that the parents are supposed to be in charge?
Is it that she always does what you say if you give her a reason? Can you come up with quick standard reasons to give her ("It's not safe." "It's healthy for you." "It's too much work for me.") that will work when you want to say, "Because I said so?"
Jan
2
comment When a child only gets enthused about books above his reading level
I truly believe that few kids actually enjoy reading at this learning stage. Even the reading prodigies among us, who only seem like they skip this stage because they go through it so young (no one is giving a 36-month old reading homework they must do). If you still read to them, and they love that, and they see that you love to read, then they will in their hearts believe you (no matter what they say when frustrated) when you tell them that they will love it too, once their reading pathways have formed. The "I hate reading" I got was not pleasant, but by 2nd grade I had a reader.
Jan
1
answered When a child only gets enthused about books above his reading level