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bio website ictmdeklerk.nl
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visits member for 1 year, 2 months
seen Oct 28 at 9:40

Its not about me, it is probably about you. I often give answers that invoke unpleasant feelings. Where do they come from, those feelings? Do I put them inside your body/brain? No of course not, they reside from within you. Because it conflicts with your view on how things should be or are. But would they feel unpleasant if you wrote them in language you couldn't understand? What is invoked by what I write is invoked by the consciousness that interprets it. Do I care if someone calls me an asshole when walking on the street? As long has he forms no threat, I couldn't care less but hoping for him to grow up. You see? It aren't the words that cause the effect, its how you deal with it. And if that causes unpleasant feelings, than that is an indicator of "something must change". You feel unpleasant when an elephant steps on your foot, something must change. You (may) feel unpleasant when people say something to you that you interpret as "Do you say I am doing something wrong here?". If so, than something must change. Not me, but you. If you would say to me "You love your child too much, that ain't right", so you imply that I am doing something wrong, I wouldn't not feel unpleasant. I understand that you need to understand the concept of love as there is no thing as 'loving too much'. You see? this about me isn't about me, it is about you, and your progress of growing up. I don't care about upvotes or downvotes. I only care whether it contributes something to 'awakening' you.

I care about leaving you contents that you have to chew one, that nags your ego, making it face your fears, until you conquer your fears, dissolving your ego and becoming love as a result.


Oct
28
revised Baby sleep associations - how important are they?
added 156 characters in body
Oct
28
answered Baby sleep associations - how important are they?
Sep
24
awarded  Autobiographer
Aug
23
awarded  Yearling
Feb
4
comment Parent's in law who can't be trusted to baby-sit want to - how do we figure this one out without hurting them?
Great answer. Concise and no debate. That is certainly key! Very well phrased about agreeing on that we disagree :)
Jan
28
comment Extremely fussy and refusing to sleep 12 week old
It is good to have some books (or any other source for that matter) that give you insight in those spurts. When you understand what is going on, it assures you that all is well. This gives you better perspective and ease of mind which results in (slightly) better care of your child as well, as the agitation/worries on your side lessen. At least, that is how I experience things.
Dec
24
comment Should I tell my 11-year-old daughter that Santa isn't real?
Wow, you spent that much money on Christmas presents alone?
Dec
23
comment How can self-consciousness be taught?
What is it exactly that you are afraid of? People get hurt from time to time while growing up to be adults (and then still, but who is parenting them then ;) ). As long as he is learning from it, I would say all is ok. I would not put consciousness in the title of the question, but rather self-reflection.
Dec
21
answered Please help my 3 years old doesn't tell me when he needs to use the bathroom
Dec
20
comment What can I do to help my child have confidence when in new situations?
@balancedmama Yes that is true, a great comment you made here. It is a nuanced topic about "what you can do for someone to help them", as sometimes it is interpreted as "how can I do it for them, to help them".
Dec
19
awarded  Custodian
Dec
19
reviewed Approve suggested edit on What can I do to help my child have confidence when in new situations?
Dec
19
answered What can I do to help my child have confidence when in new situations?
Dec
17
answered How can I alleviate my 34 month old little girl's fear of poo?
Dec
17
revised My 6 year old son misbehaves at school and home. Please help
added 986 characters in body
Dec
17
comment My 6 year old son misbehaves at school and home. Please help
@beofett I give the reader a choice: 1. Stop reading or 2 continue at your own risk of being confronted with unpleasent feelings. Is it ok, to put it like this?
Dec
17
revised My 6 year old son misbehaves at school and home. Please help
added 173 characters in body
Dec
17
comment My 6 year old son misbehaves at school and home. Please help
It sounds like you have a child with low "social" intelligence Maybe physically hurting your child isn't the best example for developing social skills.. So that might be true.
Dec
17
revised My 6 year old son misbehaves at school and home. Please help
added 388 characters in body
Dec
17
answered My 6 year old son misbehaves at school and home. Please help