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Moderator Pro Tem on Parenting.Stackexchange.com.

Web developer, business analyst, project manager, and proud father.

profile for Beofett on Stack Exchange, a network of free, community-driven Q&A sites


Feb
11
comment Should you let a toddler win?
@barraponto We were playing the Goodnight Moon Game. Bye Bye Balloon is another simple one he enjoys.
Feb
9
comment My Fussy 14 month old REFUSES to eat any type of food at home EXCEPT her baby bottle!
I still don't understand how your situation is different. Not wanting her to eat chips doesn't really make the situation different. Her losing weight points to a difference in severity, but doesn't really show any difference in the situation. I've asked the other moderators here to take a look and see if there is something I'm missing, and other members of the community are welcome to chime in (and those with sufficient reputation can vote to reopen if they seem fit). I have added the toddler tag back in, as it should be here since your daughter is 14 months of age.
Feb
9
comment My Fussy 14 month old REFUSES to eat any type of food at home EXCEPT her baby bottle!
If the situation is not the same, then you need to explain why it is different. Because what you posted here is: your daughter eats for the babysitter, but does not eat for you (although she'll drink from her bottle, and it sounds like she'll eat certain foods, like crackers and cheerios). Which doesn't seem different at all.
Feb
9
comment My Fussy 14 month old REFUSES to eat any type of food at home EXCEPT her baby bottle!
Also... you say what she eats now isn't enough. Is she losing weight? Gaining weight? Staying about the same? Has your pediatrician commented on her growth (or lack of it)? What have you tried aside from changing the foods you've offered her?
Feb
9
comment My Fussy 14 month old REFUSES to eat any type of food at home EXCEPT her baby bottle!
Is there some specific reason the other answers don't work? If so, please add it to your question. As it stands now, your question is pretty much identical to the one I asked, with the exception of the age (which shouldn't impact the answers significantly; certainly what was suggested on my answer seems applicable in your situation given the info you've provided). We'd love to see you get an answer that works, but if there are specific circumstances that make your situation distinct, we'll need to know what they are to give you appropriate answers.
Feb
5
comment Mastering a foreign language without staying in a country to which the language is native
Also relevant.
Jan
31
comment Suggestions for helping a 5 year old boy with horrible behavior
Thanks for the comprehensive, well thought out answer! I think this is all great advice. One minor nitpick, though: Piaget's theory is really just a general guideline, and not a hard-and-fast rule; saying 5 year olds don't have the required reasoning skills for discussion is possibly painting with too broad of a brush stroke. Some children at that age, or even younger, will respond to rational discussion with varying levels of comprehension; others will not.
Jan
29
comment Why do some parents have a favorite (or least favorite) child? How can this be avoided?
I've purged the previous comments, as they are now obsolete (and weren't terribly productive, anyway). @BleedingFingers Thank you for the edits. They are exactly what the question needed.
Jan
29
comment Is it okay for my child to be a “latchkey kid”?
@WarrenHill the tags I used indicate ages ranging from "primary school" to "middle school". Our tag wikis put that from 5 to 11, although I can't fathom a 5 or 6 year old handling that. I believe I started when I was 7, so lets say 7-11 years of age.
Jan
29
comment Teaching logic and problem solving to children?
@ATS That was an actual problem I was given... I believe in Elementary school. Yet oddly enough I didn't start smoking cigars until almost 30 years later. One would hope that we'd simultaneously be teaching our kids that cigars made out of cigar butts just aren't as good at the real thing! Now, if I had known how to make moonshine, it would have made me really popular in high school... Although I'm pretty sure there's a "reality" show airing now that explains how to not only make moonshine, but the entire business of smuggling, distributing, and selling it.
Jan
27
comment Mother in law making us feel guilty about money
@MarshallAnschutz I'm not a huge fan of passive aggressiveness, but it does have its uses. The context of my suggesting that approach is a fall-back, in the event that polite, non aggressive, and direct conversation doesn't work. Its not about making presumptions about her. Its about making her recognize that her comments are intrusive and unwelcome without invite direct confrontation.
Jan
24
comment How do I convince a stubborn 8 year old that the parents are supposed to be in charge?
Speaking of respect... please be respectful and polite to other members of the community when posting.
Jan
17
comment How do I address a teacher humiliating my son by calling him a “tattletale”?
@Ossum'sMom I'm confused by that remark... how is that my theory?
Jan
17
comment How do I address a teacher humiliating my son by calling him a “tattletale”?
Fair point. Although if the noise alone were an issue, you'd think the teacher would step in before a student felt the need to intervene on her behalf. Unless the intervention were exceptionally loud, which, while a possibility, seems very unlikely in this particular instance (again, based on my knowing the child in question).
Jan
17
comment How do I address a teacher humiliating my son by calling him a “tattletale”?
If the sound of the other children talking was preventing him from hearing what was being said, I don't believe telling them to be quiet can be assumed to be "trying to 'be the adult'". Knowing my friend, I really doubt his son was "playing adult", or even "trying to help". Much more likely he simply couldn't hear over the noise, and felt that he should be able to.
Jan
15
comment Are there any effects from lying to your children?
This! I went through this when I started taking my son to daycare. He got upset the first couple of times, and now he's fine when I leave. Yet I see a little boy who has been there for almost a year who still sobs even before his dad leaves... his dad stays 5-10 minutes trying to comfort the kid each time, before giving up and leaving. As soon as he leaves, though, the boy stops crying within a minute or two.
Jan
15
comment Are there any effects from lying to your children?
@LowKianSeong You have to reward her in some way... because you've been rewarding her (actually, bribing her). You've established it as a means of getting her to accept your absence, so of course she's going to continue to want these bribes. It is natural for a toddler to be upset when a parent leaves. How you respond to them being upset establishes the pattern for how they will behave. It will be tough the first few times, but if you leave, and she cries because you leave, it won't do any lasting harm. Simply say "mommies and daddies always come back." It's preferable to lies or bribes.
Jan
15
comment My pre-schooler is out of control, and I feel like my parents are undermining my relationship and authority with her
@SethGordon There's also a school of thought that positive reinforcement is detrimental in the long run. Check out Alfie Kohn's Punished By Rewards (note that I think there are some serious flaws with his ideas, but there are also some interesting concepts in there, too. I totally agree on the time outs for calming down, and not as punishment, though.
Jan
15
comment My pre-schooler is out of control, and I feel like my parents are undermining my relationship and authority with her
I'd say the answer to "Do you think this family has a problem?" is "yes!". Perhaps if you go to family therapy without your mom, and she sees that you intend to go through with it regardless of her opinion, she may decide to go rather than risk you talking about her "behind her back." If you can convince your father to participate, even better.
Jan
15
comment My pre-schooler is out of control, and I feel like my parents are undermining my relationship and authority with her
-1 for... well, quite a few reasons. Spanking can, theoretically, be effective, but studies have shown that proper application of spanking is impractical in most situations, and improper spanking is actively harmful. Plus spanking is illegal in some places. Food habits staying from youth is in direct contradiction to my experiences; do you have a source to back that claim up? And finally... "Go to the gym, bulk up, and just (threaten to) use violence to get them to comply"? Seriously?