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location California
age 32
visits member for 1 year, 4 months
seen Mar 11 at 21:51

Web Software engineer in the video game industry since 2004. I'm mostly working with the following technologies (without special ordering, just a list of what I have to deal with on a day to day basis): java / spring / solr / hibernate / memcache / freemarker / sql (mostly on Oracle DBs).


Feb
6
accepted Do we NEED to help a baby learn how to self-sooth? And how long can it take?
Feb
1
awarded  Nice Question
Jan
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awarded  Commentator
Jan
30
comment Do we NEED to help a baby learn how to self-sooth? And how long can it take?
@balanced mama: Sorry I didn't realize I had clicked yet. I was still wondering if it's the best answer. I still don't want to follow any "crying" methods yet :)
Jan
30
comment Do we NEED to help a baby learn how to self-sooth? And how long can it take?
She gets mad if I pull it away from her. If I try to replace it with the pacifier, she gets mad too. She really does know what she wants and won't get it any other way :( I try to talk to her when I remove her from the breast, explaining her that it's night time and that she needs to go to bed, but it doesn't do anything.
Jan
30
comment Do we NEED to help a baby learn how to self-sooth? And how long can it take?
@balanced mama: I could try to transfer her from our bed to her crib when she's asleep, but even when she seems sound asleep and I start moving her really slowly/carefully, she wakes up the second she's in the crib :( And otherwise yes I'm afraid of leaving her in the bed, lately they've really taken up on crawling, standing up and such. And she's the extremely curious and adventurous one (also loves doing stunts!), so when she's alone somewhere, she'll just crawl around to discover. So I'm afraid of her waking up, and be like: "oh hi freedom, let's see what's over there" =/
Jan
30
awarded  Scholar
Jan
30
comment Do we NEED to help a baby learn how to self-sooth? And how long can it take?
I probably won't be able to read the book BEFORE they do learn to fall asleep (they really don't leave me any free time), but I'll continue sticking to our routine/plan adjusting it to what you suggested.
Jan
30
comment Do we NEED to help a baby learn how to self-sooth? And how long can it take?
If I actually can transition from nursing to cuddling, I don't mind. It's just that right now, being used as a giant pacifier is getting a little frustrating (and I guess even more so because they are twins, so I still need to take care of her sister's needs!). I've been nursing on demand from the beginning, took a longer leave of absence to spend more time with them, so I don't mind giving them all this time and attention! But since I can't put her down in her crib after the nursing/cuddling, it has proven difficult for me to do simple things: eat dinner/shower/restrooms in the evenings.
Jan
30
comment Do we NEED to help a baby learn how to self-sooth? And how long can it take?
Yes, co-sleeping is what I had to do with her lately, but 1. it makes me feel guilty to leave her sister in the crib while she gets to be comfy with us, and 2. it prevents me from actually eat dinner / take a shower ... since I can't leave her in the big bed by herself. But good to know that it can take up to 2 years!
Jan
30
comment Do we NEED to help a baby learn how to self-sooth? And how long can it take?
Yes, I'm not really concerned about them waking up during the night. One of them has already done a few nights without waking up at all, and usually wakes up only once. The other one used to wake up 3 times a night, but nursing her was enough to get her to the crib. The issue is really mostly the fact she regressed and now can't sleep in her own crib, and will fight going to bed really hard, to the point where my husband thinks the only solution is to let her crying it out! I wish cuddling would work, but she only wants to nurse, my husband can't do anything with her :(
Jan
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awarded  Editor
Jan
30
revised Do we NEED to help a baby learn how to self-sooth? And how long can it take?
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Jan
30
comment Do we NEED to help a baby learn how to self-sooth? And how long can it take?
All this is good advice. I should have stressed out the fact that it's definitely the self-soothing when "putting her to bed" that is the issue. We've established a routine since they were 2-3 months old, and one of them has been pretty good since then (goes to bed without crying, just needs to be touched a little bit, and wakes up only once). The issue is more about my husband thinking that we have to let one of them cry it out to fall asleep since no matter what we do, she will scream if she realizes she's in her crib and we need to pick her up and nurse her forever...
Jan
29
comment Do we NEED to help a baby learn how to self-sooth? And how long can it take?
True babies are unique, from day 1 I saw these girls had different personalities :) I know I shouldn't have given in the co-sleeping, but I had reached a breaking point from not having had 1 single night of sleep for 7 months. I'm with you on the "if the baby cries, there's probably a reason for it", it's why I'm really not comfortable doing any CIO methods. My husband heard some of his friends doing it so thinks it's the solution :( Soothing her with patting or singing seems to make it worse and she cries even more... even in the arms. Your answer comforts me in the "no cry" choice tho!
Jan
29
comment Do we NEED to help a baby learn how to self-sooth? And how long can it take?
I should have mentioned that I've been following the tips for no-tears solution for a while (this exact same article you linked). It says that it might take times, but since it has gotten worse for this little one, I was wondering if it WILL work. (I am really against the CIO methods and really want to prove my husband that it's not a necessary step!)
Jan
29
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Jan
29
asked Do we NEED to help a baby learn how to self-sooth? And how long can it take?
Dec
11
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Dec
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