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visits member for 3 years, 4 months
seen Apr 21 at 11:03

Feb
24
comment My baby fell from the bed. Is there any problem?
Incidentally, surrounding a bed with pool noodles under the sheets (or any similarly high barrier) can make it dramatically harder for a baby to fall off.
Aug
25
comment How to handle a 11y/o son who act like a girl?
@philsodad - I'm happy to move to chat; I agree such an extended discussion doesn't belong here. I thought it would be quick and simple. It's baffling to me to see such a mix of correct statements and logically invalid/contradictory ones: "do not know" -> "certainly nothing they do"; "different effects" -> "nothing...causes". The only way I see that this "makes sense" is if you're afraid that although your advice about the right thing to do is supported by the current data, it's not supported incontrovertibly enough for your comfort.
Aug
25
comment How to handle a 11y/o son who act like a girl?
@philosodad - You're conflating two different issues: whether it is theoretically possible for parents (as part of the environment) to influence sexual preferences of their children, and whether we actually know how to deliver a particular influence. The answer to the latter is no. The answer to the former is probably to at least a modest extent, so language like "nothing they did do or didn't do 'caused' him to be gay" is probably false. You wouldn't say that parents giving drinks to their children in lead cups "didn't cause brain damage" just because they didn't realize lead was toxic.
Aug
25
comment How to handle a 11y/o son who act like a girl?
@philosodad - You're defining random fluctuations as "not environmental"? I guess that's okay, if a little non-standard. Otherwise, that which is not genetic is environmental. (This doesn't mean that you know what it is in the environment, or that it's at all obviously connected with the phenotype--maybe levels of stress hormones when 15 months old.)
Aug
25
comment How to handle a 11y/o son who act like a girl?
@philosodad - I am not aware of data showing that 11 year olds can be changed by parental intervention. However, the data mentioned by Byne suggests that there is a window when at least a modest difference can be made. (This doesn't mean that one can necessarily predict what will nudge things one way or the other, since people are both cooperative and contrary.) Anyway, when you get 30-50% rates among identical twins, it says there are major environmental factors. We just don't know what they are; it seems not to be the obvious "tell your son not to dress like a girl."
Aug
24
comment How do I help a child overcome fear of ghosts?
Whether or not logic will reassure the child depends in large part on upbringing (and probably temperament also). If adults haven't made a habit of carefully explaining and providing evidence for all sorts of things, then it's unlikely that a child will accept either a statement of fact (people can be wrong!) or an explanation (who cares about that, I'm scared!). So I agree regarding this particular child; the ghosts sound very real to her, and logic probably won't work. For other children, though, it may work just fine.
Aug
24
comment How to handle a 11y/o son who act like a girl?
It is overly simplistic to say that "sexual orientation is something people are born with". Like most things, the truth is complex, and there are both genetic and environmental factors. Here is a summary of both positions (note that they largely agree on the data but disagree on the interpretation; I don't understand why both "sides" don't just agree that there are major genetic factors as well as major environmental factors, which is what the data shows!): borngay.procon.org/view.answers.php?questionID=000019
Jul
10
comment How does one formally educate a gifted child without wrecking childhood?
@balancedmama - Ah, okay, now I understand your point. Yes, makes sense.
Jul
10
comment How does one formally educate a gifted child without wrecking childhood?
@balancedmama - That can be true in areas with a sufficiently high density of home-schooled kids. Otherwise, as I mentioned, the home-schooler has to wait for the other kids to get out of school.
Oct
6
comment Why use rice cereal as a first food?
Meat has iron also, and is easy to digest when cooked. Without meat, though, I agree that eating something with iron fortification is a good idea, and rice cereal is a safe and easy choice.
Oct
6
comment Why use rice cereal as a first food?
@Hand-E-Food - Note that one can compromise between transitional foods and processed foods by first feeding those foods that might end up processed and in jars anyway: scrape off some banana or squash with a spoon, cut up (moist) chicken into tiny bits, etc.. The steamed bean is a good idea too, but you don't have to choose between giving your infant nachos and only using rice cereal and jarred baby food!
Oct
6
comment How often should my wife breastfeed our newborn?
+1 for the comment about crying. Waiting until the baby is so hungry he cries--unless he cries very easily--makes it sound to me like the feedings are not frequent enough; he is getting uncomfortably hungry every time!
May
18
comment Is this excess phlegm and throat clearing a sign of lactose intolerance?
Susceptibility to allergies has a hereditary component. Your mother is apparently not lactose intolerant, since goat milk has the same amount of lactose as cow milk. Goats and cows do have different forms of casein, so it sounds to me like your mother probably has a (cow) casein allergy (or an allergy to something else commonly found in cow milk but not goat milk).
May
18
comment How do you know if you're ready to be a parent?
@Ernie - Something may be common and yet still be immoral.
Apr
29
comment What should children call a step-grandparent?
@Dunk - But if he realizes how much they like him, and they realize it, how much does it really matter if the name sounds to outsiders like "Grandpa" or "Mr. Joe"? In social settings with friends, maybe it would make a difference. But if it's just for within the family, it sounds like things are already going well.
Apr
11
comment How do you know if you're ready to be a parent?
+1 for good advice, though I do not think that one cannot get ready for it emotionally. Having a very good imagination, keenly observing other new parents, and having experience with considerably younger people (e.g. younger siblings, babysitting for friends, etc.) all can help considerably. One should, however, be prepared to feel emotionally unprepared, given how many people report feeling unprepared.
Apr
11
comment How do you know if you're ready to be a parent?
-1 for immoral advice: if the answer to 2 is "no", you could end up doing a horrible disservice to those kids. A parent ought to do better than that.
Apr
8
comment How can firearms be secured from children?
@HedgeMage - It's an answer to completely inaccessible in an emergency. This is only relevant if speed is an issue. You will note that I did not tell the OP they didn't need a firearm, but instead suggested ways to reduce their need to use the firearm so quickly. Your comment and flagging are inappropriate.