Reputation
1,019
Top tag
Next privilege 1,250 Rep.
Create tag synonyms
Badges
4 8
Newest
 Yearling
Impact
~79k people reached

  • 0 posts edited
  • 0 helpful flags
  • 105 votes cast
May
5
comment Why would you lie to your children about Santa?
@AdamDavis - The question asks for an evaluation of the merits of the Santa myth, which you endorse based upon personal experience, but the experience of others suggests that nearly everything you list as a positive can be had via some other way, making it dispensable for the things you attribute to it. Another question would rightly be closed as a duplicate of this one, and suggesting that I open one is silly. However, I agree that comments are not the place to discuss further.
May
4
comment Why would you lie to your children about Santa?
@AdamDavis - "aren't the negative things it brings worse than the good things" is precisely a question about dispensability of belief in Santa. There's nothing wrong with sharing your experiences, which is most of what you're doing, but there are at-least-equally-compelling alternate experiences.
May
4
comment Why would you lie to your children about Santa?
As a child I was never told Santa was real and never missed it because we still got all the fun stuff: trees with lights, presents (brought out secretly by parents at night), Christmas cookies. I am glad my parents didn't lie to me about that (or other things) and instead asked challenging questions to develop my critical thinking. And I've even dressed up as Santa for my son, who enjoyed it even though he knows Santa isn't real. Santa-belief isn't terribly harmful, but your answer doesn't adequately acknowledge how dispensable it is.
Mar
19
comment How do you raise an intelligent and happy daughter in a sexist world?
@n00b - Funny, but no, that's really not what I'm saying. "Let it go" didn't even work in the movie--Arendelle was still frozen. "Love" isn't really going to cut it either.
Mar
13
comment How do you raise an intelligent and happy daughter in a sexist world?
I partly agree, but partly feel that this is too much in the vein of "how to be happy being ordinary".
Jan
14
comment 4 year old afraid of swimming
It's not indispensable if the child happens to fall into deep water. For examle, several hundred children die from drowning each year in the U.S., most of whom would not have drowned had they known how to swim (or been better swimmers).
Feb
24
comment My baby fell from the bed. Is there any problem?
Incidentally, surrounding a bed with pool noodles under the sheets (or any similarly high barrier) can make it dramatically harder for a baby to fall off.
Aug
25
comment How to handle a 11y/o son who act like a girl?
@philsodad - I'm happy to move to chat; I agree such an extended discussion doesn't belong here. I thought it would be quick and simple. It's baffling to me to see such a mix of correct statements and logically invalid/contradictory ones: "do not know" -> "certainly nothing they do"; "different effects" -> "nothing...causes". The only way I see that this "makes sense" is if you're afraid that although your advice about the right thing to do is supported by the current data, it's not supported incontrovertibly enough for your comfort.
Aug
25
comment How to handle a 11y/o son who act like a girl?
@philosodad - You're conflating two different issues: whether it is theoretically possible for parents (as part of the environment) to influence sexual preferences of their children, and whether we actually know how to deliver a particular influence. The answer to the latter is no. The answer to the former is probably to at least a modest extent, so language like "nothing they did do or didn't do 'caused' him to be gay" is probably false. You wouldn't say that parents giving drinks to their children in lead cups "didn't cause brain damage" just because they didn't realize lead was toxic.
Aug
25
comment How to handle a 11y/o son who act like a girl?
@philosodad - You're defining random fluctuations as "not environmental"? I guess that's okay, if a little non-standard. Otherwise, that which is not genetic is environmental. (This doesn't mean that you know what it is in the environment, or that it's at all obviously connected with the phenotype--maybe levels of stress hormones when 15 months old.)
Aug
25
comment How to handle a 11y/o son who act like a girl?
@philosodad - I am not aware of data showing that 11 year olds can be changed by parental intervention. However, the data mentioned by Byne suggests that there is a window when at least a modest difference can be made. (This doesn't mean that one can necessarily predict what will nudge things one way or the other, since people are both cooperative and contrary.) Anyway, when you get 30-50% rates among identical twins, it says there are major environmental factors. We just don't know what they are; it seems not to be the obvious "tell your son not to dress like a girl."
Aug
24
comment How do I help a child overcome fear of ghosts?
Whether or not logic will reassure the child depends in large part on upbringing (and probably temperament also). If adults haven't made a habit of carefully explaining and providing evidence for all sorts of things, then it's unlikely that a child will accept either a statement of fact (people can be wrong!) or an explanation (who cares about that, I'm scared!). So I agree regarding this particular child; the ghosts sound very real to her, and logic probably won't work. For other children, though, it may work just fine.
Aug
24
comment How to handle a 11y/o son who act like a girl?
It is overly simplistic to say that "sexual orientation is something people are born with". Like most things, the truth is complex, and there are both genetic and environmental factors. Here is a summary of both positions (note that they largely agree on the data but disagree on the interpretation; I don't understand why both "sides" don't just agree that there are major genetic factors as well as major environmental factors, which is what the data shows!): borngay.procon.org/view.answers.php?questionID=000019
Jul
10
comment How does one formally educate a gifted child without wrecking childhood?
@balancedmama - Ah, okay, now I understand your point. Yes, makes sense.
Jul
10
comment How does one formally educate a gifted child without wrecking childhood?
@balancedmama - That can be true in areas with a sufficiently high density of home-schooled kids. Otherwise, as I mentioned, the home-schooler has to wait for the other kids to get out of school.
Oct
6
comment Why use rice cereal as a first food?
Meat has iron also, and is easy to digest when cooked. Without meat, though, I agree that eating something with iron fortification is a good idea, and rice cereal is a safe and easy choice.
Oct
6
comment Why use rice cereal as a first food?
@Hand-E-Food - Note that one can compromise between transitional foods and processed foods by first feeding those foods that might end up processed and in jars anyway: scrape off some banana or squash with a spoon, cut up (moist) chicken into tiny bits, etc.. The steamed bean is a good idea too, but you don't have to choose between giving your infant nachos and only using rice cereal and jarred baby food!
Oct
6
comment How often should my wife breastfeed our newborn?
+1 for the comment about crying. Waiting until the baby is so hungry he cries--unless he cries very easily--makes it sound to me like the feedings are not frequent enough; he is getting uncomfortably hungry every time!
May
18
comment Is this excess phlegm and throat clearing a sign of lactose intolerance?
Susceptibility to allergies has a hereditary component. Your mother is apparently not lactose intolerant, since goat milk has the same amount of lactose as cow milk. Goats and cows do have different forms of casein, so it sounds to me like your mother probably has a (cow) casein allergy (or an allergy to something else commonly found in cow milk but not goat milk).
May
18
comment How do you know if you're ready to be a parent?
@Ernie - Something may be common and yet still be immoral.