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Jul
15
comment If my 4-year-old asks me “why”, what kind of “why” does he mean?
@adsmith Ahh... I remember knowing everything... those were the days. ...then I moved out unto my own. I am not young enough to know everything. - Oscar Wilde
Jun
29
comment Why does my 16 year old sister still bite?
@CreationEdge Just to be clear, I've only ever "bit back" with with "close" family of an age (16 would be too old IMO). I also don't leave any marks that won't be gone in ~15 minutes. My goal is normally to shock, scare and teach that biting me won't end well. I don't randomly bite children on the playground lol. I wouldn't bite a 16 year old either because they should know enough. I, being a bit older than 19, probably wouldn't punch either but they are close enough in age for self defense to be a reasonable option.
Jun
28
comment Why does my 16 year old sister still bite?
@Erica On a higher level, I agree to a point... but this action does show that actions have consequences. Bite me = You bit/hit. Right now, the 16y knows there are no consequences - both because the parents won't intervene... and because the 16y won't listen to reason (despite being of age to know better). I bet a 16 year old KNOWS that biting is wrong, and continues doing so because there are no consequences. Without the parents on her side, the 19 year old only has 2 options: Move out or deal with the sister herself. It might be a bit "School yard", but again... without the parents...?
Jun
28
comment Why does my 16 year old sister still bite?
I would like to know as well, as the other answers have alluded too... is this something that's directed PURELY at you - or are there others that she acts out towards?
Jun
28
comment Why does my 16 year old sister still bite?
@Erica I beg to differ. Every "young-un" that has felt the urge, or expressed the desire, to bite me hasn't done so twice. They learn real quick that biting me = them getting bit - and every single one doesn't like that happening. The major difference here is the age - which is why I added the option to hit instead of bite. The sister obviously KNOWS that she can bite without consequence and needs to learn otherwise. Since the parents won't put a word in edgewise, the the eldest needs to stand up for herself.
Jun
28
comment Why does my 16 year old sister still bite?
Bite back (is what I would do if a five year old bit me. Not hard enough to damage, but enough to hurt) or hit back - she's not five and you're old enough to defend yourself.
Jun
1
comment What is a good physical activity for a seven-year old who loves falling down?
Local parks, like six flags if applicable, have year passes which would tamp the expensive part. then it world be gas and driving ... which could be acceptable
Apr
8
comment I don't want to be a father
WRT staying together & parenting, while it is good to have both parents - It is a choice between stay and work vs divorce and move on... make sure the result isn't a toxic environment. ... If the OP becomes angry at "the situation" and can't overcome how much "poly and power he had to sacrifice..." - then even if it looks good "on the surface", there will be issues that affect everyone - most importantly the kid.
Mar
13
comment How do you raise an intelligent and happy daughter in a sexist world?
So - you don't have to be a 'perfect' parent. Nobody is. If you were then that would be weird and unhealthy. +1 - Unless you can walk on water and then turn that water into wine... you need to tone down the impression that everything around you is "perfect". perfect husband? perfect wife? perfect mother? perfect father? Perfect attitude about how to the world is full of sexism and how to raise a kid? Probably not... Aim for the sky and do everything to make life better for your kid(s) than you had, but perfect is most definitely a perfectly impossible standard.
Feb
8
comment What can I do to encourage my 12 year old son to enjoy productive activities?
To a large extent, yes. One of the bigger lessons in life is "To much of a good thing is bad". Forcing them to do many different things, with the associated talks about why you can't just spend 12 hours a day on XBox - espcially during the impressionable early/teenage years - is important, IMO. I guess I could do a slight rewrite to say `Enforce Limitations, Encourage Good and Discourage/Punish Bad" (remove stuff if limits aren't followed or grades are bad or wahtever).
Feb
8
comment What can I do to encourage my 12 year old son to enjoy productive activities?
And simply saying "others do resent their parents" is no better or worse than me saying "we don't resent ours". Why two hours? Why more or less? I didn't say these were laid in law. They show responsibly? Give them more. Get in trouble? Give them less. It's all relative to the parents and the kids - what's good for one isn't good for the next. Carrot and stick (encourage good, discourage bad) is a loose set of rules and an idea more than law set in stone.
Feb
8
comment What can I do to encourage my 12 year old son to enjoy productive activities?
Depends on the way it's approached. "Don't do that" in an empty void is just empty rules without meaning. "Don't do that because x, y, z". As with our family, certain games aren't allowed because they encourage bad things - GTA, Postal, etc. Some aren't allowed because you aren't old enough. Some aren't allowed because they haven't been vetted. Key point being, I know I've never been resentful and neither has my brother and we had plenty of limits.
Jan
21
comment Risks and benefits of natural birth
I'd have to say, without wanting to join a "discussion" about home vs clinical popularity in the Netherlands [Citation needed]... "A study presented...", "I have lectures..." aren't relevant without links to back up said claims. After all, 93% of statistics are made up on the spot...
Oct
30
comment Should a 5 year old excuse themselves after farting?
The issue in this problem is "Silent but deadly" issues. Not "unacceptable noises". Closely related, but I don't think "Miss Manners" rules apply here per-se. I didn't see anything in a quick search where she talks about "Silent but deadly" situations.
Jul
31
comment How can 7-year old defend himself when toddler is hitting?
+1 "show your son that you will protect him"... No guarantee your friend will remain your friend - but your son will always be your son. Protect your son from an uncontrolled child. Do your best for your friendship, and the 2 year old, but family is #1. I wouldn't want to lose a friend over something like this, but I wouldn't stand for my kid to be railroaded either.
Feb
4
comment Should you let a toddler win?
I'd hesitate to say that I'm a happy adult because of the rough childhood I went through... I wouldn't appreciate what I have without all the "losing" I went through. This answer strikes me as spot on: Teach your kid how to win AND lose gracefully.
May
24
comment How much time with friends (away from family) is reasonable?
I love this viewpoint and it's not something I would ever have considered (being a dumm man and what not). It's uncalled for and unfair that she'd be taking the resentment out like that ("Daddy would rather be elsewhere"), but the reality is something has to be at the root of it. If this isn't the root if it, and it sounds damn plausible to me, then something else has to be.
Jul
18
comment Is it okay for both parents to be asleep at the same time?
+1 "newborns have only one desire - to grow older" Love it.
May
4
comment How can you deal with tantrums without spanking?
Sage advise... works for the Dog Whisperer... works for toddlers.
Apr
11
comment Should you give honey to a newborn?
Tooth Decay, for baby teeth, is kind of a non-issue... keep those temporary teeth in good working order. Yeah...