867 reputation
521
bio website twitter.com/@jayhanlon
location New York, NY
age 38
visits member for 2 years, 1 month
seen Jul 17 at 19:51

I am:

I'm pretty much always trying to be helpful. If I'm not succeeding, just let me know.

Okay, so maybe I wasn't trying that hard in the question below. But usually.
France is not within 30 miles of London.

profile for Jaydles on Stack Exchange, a network of free, community-driven Q&A sites


Jul
17
comment Are there any allergic-friendly alternatives for peanut butter & jelly?
+1 this stuff's pretty decent, (it's usually branded as "Sun Butter") and while sunflower allergies can be severe, they're a lot rarer than peanut, sesame, etc.
Jun
23
comment How do I stop yawning so much when I'm reading bedtime stories to my kids?
This makes sense, but the yawning hits me anytime I read to them at length, including breakfast...
May
17
comment Encouraging older brother to play with younger brother
+ 1 for pointing out that positive reinforcement will usually work much better than redirection (even if it has fewer opportunists to be put to use .)
May
14
comment What age to teach a child about fairness?
+1 for science reference!
May
14
comment What age to teach a child about fairness?
It seems like you're really asking "What's an appropriate age to teach kids that the world is not always fair?" which may well be a very different answer than "What age is appropriate to teach the value of fairness in our interactions with others." Didn't want to edit your title in case I'm misrepresenting, tho...
May
14
comment Does good cop/bad cop work with children?
Great answers below - one simple test I'd toss in is this: Would you be proud if your child chose to emulate your behavior as their primary way of handling similar situations? If the answer is no, you probably want to look for other approaches when possible - the most important outcome here isn't how they respond to this situation; it's how they learn situations should be handled for the rest of their lives.
Mar
30
comment Can “The Giving Tree” be explained in a way that isn't an unhealthy lesson?
This genuinely gave me a new perspective on the book. Awesome answer.
Mar
21
comment What is a healthy, ethical way to deal with a nanny cam?
@woliveirajr, do you mean legally? I know the facts from a legal perspective. I'm interested in the ethical aspects, which only seem location specific if there are different social norms?
Mar
12
comment How can you offer other parents suggestions without making them defensive?
@keshlam, fair enough. Updated.
Mar
12
comment How can you offer other parents suggestions without making them defensive?
wrt to it not being my job, I know. And I'm not as much of a buttinski/know-it-all as this question might imply. But my question is predicated on cases where I think it's important enough to do some work to maximize my odds of being able to help. And I do get that some things are just style, but job or no, it'd be a heavy burden to wonder whether I could have pushed a little harder about something like the very high choke risk of some foods, etc. before something tragic might happen to a nephew, close friend, etc.
Mar
10
comment 19 month old takes off diaper only at nap time… help!
What's she wearing over the diaper? That may be an easier place to slow her down.
Mar
10
comment When (if ever) is it appropriate to spy on your teenager's texts?
+1 for the balance between recognizing that blind trust isn't always practical, but also getting that you secretly watching them teaches that behaviors designed to evade each others' awareness are appropriate.
Mar
10
comment How to deal with a teenage daughter who refuses to dress modestly
Let's all keep this civil, and recognize that different parents have different approaches and priorities - our goal here is to share them respectfully.
Mar
10
comment Is there an age before which you should avoid the concept of death or dying?
@RemcoGerlich, your daughter is a cruel, thoughtless young woman. Yours, A Representative of All 38-Year-Olds.
Mar
10
comment How to deal with a teenage daughter who refuses to dress modestly
@jeremy, I like a lot of this post. Couple of suggestions? (I didn't edit myself because I don't want to misrepresent you.) 1) The "yes" section could be toned down slightly; as written, the use of "everything" and "most stupid" may be more than is needed? 2) Comparing parents' concern about appropriate attire with the resistance to women's suffrage and minority rights seems a bit much, as does the use of "slave" where I think you mean something like, "unquestioning follower". Again, I like a lot of this, but some tweaks would make me a lot more comfortable up voting.
Mar
10
comment How to teach a toddler to identify colors correctly?
FWIW, learning colors is one of those things that seems to develop much later than feels normal, relative to other things. When my two-year old was speaking in multi-clause sentences, but still flubbing colors regularly, I thought he might be color-blind. I think there's a conflict between our (adult) sense of colors being in the "first words and basics" bucket, and the reality that they're a fairly meta condition of things that's harder to grasp than more concrete things.
Mar
7
comment Is there an age before which you should avoid the concept of death or dying?
+1 - Clear on the advice to handle it when it comes up, and that I should actually probably be happy it's before it might come with an emotional wrapper for the child. Elaboration question - would you hold back on any aspect, or answer any questions that follow regardless of age ("Do all people die?" "Will I die" "Etc.")?
Jan
30
comment Do we NEED to help a baby learn how to self-sooth? And how long can it take?
@FannyH., yes, I realize that some of what I summarize is already in your process (the routine, etc.) but the core of the book's technique (and my suggestions for how to approach it as a couple are directly related to the process of getting a kid you've put in bed to go to sleep and sleep happily through the night.
Jan
30
comment Coping and overcoming a rational fear
+1 - If you acknowledge her feelings, and say as little as possible that's not reflecting back, her only actionable approach is to resolve it herself in her head on her terms (and own the solution). If you try to redirect too much, her fears will have something to do (argue with you), and so their usefulness will last longer...
Jul
5
comment For toothbrushing a one year old (who eats the toothpaste) should we be using fluoride paste or not?
Lots of helpful responses here - accepting this one due to great source references.