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16h
comment My 13-year-old son made a foolish and wasteful donation. How can I teach him he was wrong?
Because after all, how valuable is a child? If he really knows that, he will want to excel, to do the right thing. There's a place for hitting him over the head with a sharp (metaphorical) stick, and a place for scooping him up out of the mess he's made and just being a daddy.
16h
comment My 13-year-old son made a foolish and wasteful donation. How can I teach him he was wrong?
Here's what we do when our kid does something stupid
16h
comment My 13-year-old son made a foolish and wasteful donation. How can I teach him he was wrong?
@MattSamuel - you are right, I didn't mean to imply lack of personal responsibility, that was sloppy language on my part. I have edited for clarity.
16h
comment My 13-year-old son made a foolish and wasteful donation. How can I teach him he was wrong?
@RubberDuck - I agree with you. My father always used to say "never a lender or a borrower be". He refused to lend me money when I was in trouble, but would freely give of what he had. This did not teach fiscal irresponsibility, but the opposite as I saw how money could be used as a tool. A lesson can be learned in an hour, in a moment. I don't think it's necessary to drag the problem out until the debt is paid, it only needs to be dragged out until the lesson is learned. Just my opinion.
16h
comment My 13-year-old son made a foolish and wasteful donation. How can I teach him he was wrong?
@RubberDuck - If you don't act, you have a $500 problem to sort out. This is going to drag on for months, perhaps years. The child will be in debt to the parent. It's a true statement that the borrower is slave to the lender. This is not a good situation for a parent and child. I say learn from it, forgive it, fix it if possible for bonus points, and move on. All part of child rearing.
1d
comment My 13-year-old son made a foolish and wasteful donation. How can I teach him he was wrong?
@reirab - perhaps I over-egged it a little Think back to when you were 13, and a pretty girl you liked fluttered her eyelashes at you. Would you have done pretty much anything (within reason) to make her smile? A shoe for a smile would have seemed like a fair trade back then.
1d
comment My 13-year-old son made a foolish and wasteful donation. How can I teach him he was wrong?
@RubberDuck - we have two options. We can either make him pay for the shoes which is going to turn into a dragged out affair, or you can see the humour in the situation, make him sweat for a week or so, show him the problem so he understands what he has created, then save the day. At this point your kid will think you are the coolest parent ever. Respect is important. If your kid respects you, you can teach him.
2d
comment My 13-year-old son made a foolish and wasteful donation. How can I teach him he was wrong?
@msb - no, it teaches good humour
May
22
comment How can I motivate my child who doesn't care about rewards?
This is definitely an answer rather than a comment, and a good one at that. I have taken the liberty of framing it as such.
May
22
comment How can I motivate my child who doesn't care about rewards?
@Erica - Ah, looking at the previous versions I see why this was considered rude.
May
22
comment How can I motivate my child who doesn't care about rewards?
I see nothing wrong with this answer, why the downvotes?
May
22
comment How can I motivate my child who doesn't care about rewards?
Welcome to the site @Tbobay. This is a little different to the normal discussion forums you may find around the place. The goal of this site is to answer the question. Once you get some upvotes you can then comment on other people's answers in the comment boxes. All the best.
May
22
comment 9 year old son brought a toy gun to school – how can we get him to understand this isn't just about bringing a toy to school?
Explaining the reason for the rule is important. The rule is clearly mad, but unfortunately perhaps necessary.
May
22
comment 9 year old son brought a toy gun to school – how can we get him to understand this isn't just about bringing a toy to school?
The problem is cultural. School kids shoot each other in America. In a European cultural context calling the police over a plastic toy sounds crazy.
May
22
comment 9 year old son brought a toy gun to school – how can we get him to understand this isn't just about bringing a toy to school?
It must be rubbish living in a country where you have to be so afraid of guns that even a plastic toy elicits a visit from a police officer.
May
22
comment How to deal with a teenager who wants his parents to buy him everything his friends have?
Did you keep your family finances private from him while he was growing up, or did you involve him in budget meetings?
May
6
comment I want to expose my 5-year-old daughter to boys and girls toys equally, but she just turned her nose up at Star Wars. What do I do?
@mattdm - This worries me too. Before I had children I assumed 100% nurture and 0% inbuilt. My feeling now is it's likely more like 50/50. I can't support this with data though.
Apr
28
comment I want to expose my 5-year-old daughter to boys and girls toys equally, but she just turned her nose up at Star Wars. What do I do?
@jwg - My point is that I had always assumed that they would come out blank and I would then have to install personalities into them. I have been surprised to find that this does not appear to be the case.
Apr
28
comment I want to expose my 5-year-old daughter to boys and girls toys equally, but she just turned her nose up at Star Wars. What do I do?
@jwg - Good point, 3 data points is not statistically significant. My kids have lots of friends, many of whom (though not all) exhibit similar behaviours. This is anecdotal evidence though and should rightly be treated with caution. As I mention in my answer, all kids are different. The key thing I think is to watch your child closely and try to relate to him or her as an individual.
Apr
28
comment I want to expose my 5-year-old daughter to boys and girls toys equally, but she just turned her nose up at Star Wars. What do I do?
Hi @Stephie - your kids sound pretty cool. Further evidence (if any were needed) that kids are all different. Gender is only one influence on them.