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Jan
25
comment How can I tell parents of a 1-year-old that they're doing it wrong?
@GdD Actually, you're right but it's a different result... What any middle-class, first world citizen knows best know best is how hey were raised. Knowing what I didn't explain about how they wound up with us in the first place, assumptions of manipulation come straight from that.
Jan
24
answered What is the best way to respond if my child is picked on by other children?
Jan
24
awarded  Talkative
Jan
24
comment How can I tell parents of a 1-year-old that they're doing it wrong?
You're right, style or method is a lot of it. Thing is that he's not getting much of anything at the moment. Except getting hollered at for crying too long or not going back to sleep at 4 am.
Jan
24
comment How can I tell parents of a 1-year-old that they're doing it wrong?
The point was that even jacking him in to mindless kid media would be better than what he's getting, which is nothing to very little.
Jan
24
comment How do you manage free time when you have kids?
(continued) When you stand up for yourself, one of 2 things will happen: either the relationship will get better or it will get worse. If it gets worse, it certainly won't be because you didn't try to make it better. But if you say nothing, it's guaranteed to get worse as these occasions pile up in a corner of your mind until the day you explode for something seemingly trivial.
Jan
24
comment How do you manage free time when you have kids?
I'm going to go the other way here, hate me if you want. . . but the example from 'tonight' is I think indicative of a one way relationship. I think what you need is less advice on the specifics and more individual self confidence. Stand up to her when you get dinged like that and tell her "Cut it out. I don't like it when you do that." Sounds like there are a lot of things in the relationship that need work, not just the babies and reality tv. I'm sure you know what they are and, like I was with my first wife, simply afraid to deal with them. (continued)
Jan
24
answered How do you manage free time when you have kids?
Jan
23
comment Can a son share a bed with his girlfriend, at 27?
I wanted to explain a bit, but didn't want to clutter up the original thought. at 27, you've been out in the world and on your own for at least a while. In a lot of famblies, 27/30 have a kid or 2 already. Would they expect you to sleep separate then?
Jan
23
answered Can a son share a bed with his girlfriend, at 27?
Jan
23
comment Should I expect a boy to ask me for permission for prom?
Be very careful about "the veto". . . you do have that option, but at 16 she's making decisions everyday without you and sometimes without even considering you. Might be hard to take, but there it is. Vetoing Affairs of the Heart (yay Rick Springfield) can cause huge downline problems. She may also be of the opinion "dude, it's just prom... i'm not getting married" and that making a big todo and say dinner with him and his parents might just be a bit "old fashioned" for the young adults.
Jan
23
comment Just found out my daughter might be gay. Now what?
@Beofett oops. I was responding to the response, but you're right... I should have gone upline further.
Jan
23
comment How can I tell parents of a 1-year-old that they're doing it wrong?
And then there's the fact that "I've done it before and I don't feel like doing it anymore"... after many yrs straight of toddler-age children, we're both pretty weary of the whole thing.
Jan
23
comment How can I tell parents of a 1-year-old that they're doing it wrong?
I suppose I could pull rank. "While you're living here, you will be required to listen to my advice on parenting. First..." Seriously tho, as I replied to DA01, I'm not personally in a position to do these things at the times they're needed most, but I know I could enlist the wife and probably my kids. And with all of us pitching in, we may be able to make an impression that will last beyond they're time with us.
Jan
23
revised How can I tell parents of a 1-year-old that they're doing it wrong?
added 135 characters in body
Jan
23
comment How can I tell parents of a 1-year-old that they're doing it wrong?
@smillig I think..."vast" might be a bit grandiose. But i've tried to do so without using so many words. The husband has said "i don't do well with subtlety" which I get (military and all) so those kind of indirect hilights (sometimes known as passive-aggressive statement) don't go anywhere... Which is the problem in general, that they're not very accepting of outside info.
Jan
23
comment How can I tell parents of a 1-year-old that they're doing it wrong?
@DA01 Unfortunately, I'm not in a social position to be able to do that. I'm working nights now, so when they put him down for the night, I'm typically napping just before work. I do however interact with him throughout the day. I play with him with his toys, roughhouse, stuff like that. maybe an hour a day. However, it is along the lines of what I was thinking last night after I made this post. The 11 (and maybe 7) yr old girl(s) would probably love to read him bedtime stories and help start a nighttime ritual. I'll mention it to the wife as well.
Jan
23
comment Just found out my daughter might be gay. Now what?
@Beofett she's 14on his phone plan. If she wants that kind of privacy, she should get a job and her own damn phone. Until then, like it. None of my teens ever bitched when I chastised them for smth I found on their phone... Probably because that sentiment was part of the understood, unspoken 'agreement' lol. Perhaps he shd have said "should she have a reasonable expectation that you may go digging in her phone?"
Jan
23
comment How do we get our toddler to gain weight?
I'd like to add a bit to what @corvus melori said... If you ped told you that she was a little light and could stand to gain a few pounds, and then offered nothing in the way of information on exactly how, then IMO it's time for a new ped. At the very least, you should have been given a link. A dietary handout sheet of some sort would have been better. Telling you there's a problem then not giving you info or options on how to take care of it is simply not cool.
Jan
23
asked How can I tell parents of a 1-year-old that they're doing it wrong?