4,037 reputation
1938
bio website
location Newcastle upon Tyne, United Kingdom
age 29
visits member for 3 years
seen 2 hours ago

Lapsed Catholic. Luddite Geek. Shy Chatterbox. A mass of contradictions wrapped in an open enigma.

Some days, I really regret making http://stackoverflow.com/a/3638034/14250 a comm. wiki question. Then I get back to helping people solve problems rather than trying to help myself score rep. (Man, but 370 upvotes. Three. Hundred. And. Seventy.)


2d
comment How to help my wife cope w/ being a stay-at-home mom
Just a note: Running is not free. Running has a time cost associated with it, specifically because you can't do it with a 4 year old tagging along. If your wife is going to start an achievable exercise program, she'll need your support in terms of the time to go out. Given that this will normally be at the end of the day when she's at her lowest ebb, it's worth being aware of. If you can schedule around this though, it's a great idea.
Apr
1
comment How often should I defeat my children in games?
@Jax: Agreed, suggested an edit, as seriously, got to the quote and was just confused.
Mar
28
comment How do I define 'rape' to an 8-year-old girl?
@MaulikV Okay, but I'd be cautious, as "forcefully embracing" implies a bear hug to me, which isn't the same thing.
Mar
21
comment How do we stop our daughter rolling over and waking herself up?
Between the No Cry and eventually limited CIO (our adorable little bundle of impulses has a will of iron and the manipulation skills of a lil' blonde Lex Luthor), this answer worked best for us. It's a good idea to start with No Cry and then move to CIO once you've tried that, especially as you can do No Cry far earlier. Bottom line; systems help.
Mar
21
comment Is it OK for my children to eat solely carbs and fruit, which is what they want
+1 for the "random string bean" anecdote.
Mar
19
comment Should we put our baby in a helmet to mold her head?
@Imsurprenant How'd it go?
Mar
14
comment How can parents avoid making decisions based on nostalgia?
I get very cynical about articles like this: "I remember the good old days, when we wrestled that little kid with the glasses to the ground and pretended we'd gouge out his eyes with a knife, and the teacher didn't interfere. Happier, happier days." Always remember that "research professor of psychology at Boston College" is a successful product of his system. The kids who the system failed don't generally get columns in the Independent.
Mar
12
comment How can you offer other parents suggestions without making them defensive?
I don't know, parents can be very sensitive to "Oh, we wouldn't do that with our child" comments. They smack of "I desperately want to criticise your parenting, and this is as close as I dare". Which in this instance is a correct assumption.
Mar
4
comment How do you differentiate between allowing the child to disagree with you and letting her get her way?
From the bounty, I'm guessing my answer didn't meet all your needs. Is it not clear enough, or is there something I'm missing from your question?
Mar
3
comment Email and social media for pre-teens
One issue with this answer is that "Online Predators" are not particularly scary if you only plan to friend people you know from school. Did your 11-year old actually respond to "Scared Straight"?
Feb
27
comment Don't touch my hair!
For my 6 month old daughter, I used "Arya Splash?" as the warning. She learned to duck, block and weave, but it quickly turned into a game, and she stopped being so annoyed.
Jan
31
comment How do you handle grandparents who spoil your children?
With Mummy present is worse, without is insidious.
Jan
29
comment I plan to send my child to mission school at 4+, should I send them somewhere else before then?
Abhijit, I've made an effort to make your question easier to understand, and changed the title to attract more attention from people who might have useful advice. If you feel I've removed critical information, you can roll back the changes, or ask me to do so, and I'll be happy to help.
Jan
29
comment How do you handle grandparents who spoil your children?
The issue here is not so much that her daughter will be aware that she gets different treatment from Grandma, as that her daughter will totally abuse that situation, as any small child would. There's no problem with "Grandma always gives me sweets"; there's a problem with "Grandma supports me not doing what Mummy says, secure in the knowledge that when I go right off the rails, it'll be Mummy's problem."
Jan
29
comment Kids and Time Management
@RoryAlsop Don't apologise, it was a good thought. Like I say, I think this is just on the raggedy edge of off-topic. If it was "How do can I help my child learn to manage time? Please provide specific references", I'd be a lot more comfortable with it; if only because the answers would be more helpful to the site's intended audience. And if it was posted to chat instead of as a question, again I'd be fine with that. It might get good answers here, but I question how much value it has beyond that.
Jan
29
comment Kids and Time Management
This seems too broad, along the lines of "recommend me some research books". Along with that, it's not about parenting, it's about child research, which is at the raggedy edge of on-topic, and the broadness pushes it over the edge into "close" territory.
Jan
11
comment How old must a baby be to be lifted under its arms?
@Dariusz Sounds fine to me. If in doubt, check for bruising around the armpits, but I'd be astounded to see that.
Jan
11
comment How old must a baby be to be lifted under its arms?
@Dariusz How old is she? It certainly shouldn't be an issue for her spine, and if you're pulling hard enough to wrench her shoulders... don't.
Nov
22
comment Methods for reducing or coping with sleep deprivation
+1 for "Do not prioritise X over sleeping". Spent 2 hours tidying and now want to sleep? DAUGHTER CARES NOT.
Nov
16
comment Diapering a 7 month old that is almost ready to crawl
Ah, the famous wrestling move known as the "Parental Pin". Think of it as an over-enthusiastic, poorly received cuddle?