2,558 reputation
522
bio website security.stackexchange.com/…
location United Kingdom
age 44
visits member for 2 years, 8 months
seen 9 hours ago

I welcome friendly chats over email. dan dot bealecocks at googlemail dot com yes that's my real name.


Feb
9
comment How do we stop our daughter rolling over and waking herself up?
CIO must not be started before 6 months of age. The child is communicating a need by crying.
Feb
9
comment What kind of walkers are available and what are the pros and cons of each?
I can't find the hospital statistics yet but a disturbing number of children are killed and maimed each year and a disproportionate number of those were in walkers at the time. There comes a point when we have to accept that some equipment cannot easily be made safe. When that equipment provides zero benefit and also poses risk of harm to tendons the risks outweigh the non existent benefits.
Feb
9
comment When (if ever) is it appropriate to spy on your teenager's texts?
I tend to agree with you. If you think in terms of "the boiling frog" you can understand the series of small steps that people take where they end up thinkin they need to spy on texts without telling the child. Children can do dangerous unsafe things with a phone, and it does need to be addressed, but as you say there are safer better ways to do that.
Feb
6
comment What is the best approach for teaching toddlers not to drop items off the table at meals?
Rather than saying "no, that's not ..." I prefer to say "yes! You are using that cup so well! They can be tricky to lift when they're full but it is nice to see you carefully holding it. And you haven't spilled a drop!" - relentless positivity.
Feb
3
comment Parent's in law who can't be trusted to baby-sit want to - how do we figure this one out without hurting them?
@ratchet freak - you make a good point. Perhaps limit that to good quality government guidance.
Feb
2
comment Parent's in law who can't be trusted to baby-sit want to - how do we figure this one out without hurting them?
I really like the poj ts you make about "this is you decision and you've made it"; and "don't try to convince them". I like your answer.
Feb
1
comment We're looking to get pregnant - what can we do to optimize our chances?
The point of keeping records is that you have something to show a doctor when you seek further help. That can reduce the time spent gathering more evidence. Other than that I tend to agree - just relax and have fun.
Jan
27
comment Why should children be rewarded for good behaviour?
I'd suggest giving a reward for effort and not acheivment.
Jan
27
comment How can I get my 2.5 year old to sleep on his own?
This is horrible advice. There are great techniques for "cry it out" that don't involve cruelty and poor attachment.
Jan
27
comment Self-soothing and sleep training
"Cry it out" techniques are are complex than this. 6 months is the minimum age such techniques should be used, so a 7 month old might be too young for correct cry it out techniques. The description you give here is cruel and possibly harmful. (Research is difficult when it involves children and harm).
Jan
24
comment Suggestions for helping a 5 year old boy with horrible behavior
Please could you add some more information? How is his behaviour horrible at home? Did school give any more information about violence? What MH problems does the father have, and why do you think those are relevant?
Jan
22
comment How can we discipline a strong-willed, misbehaving 5 year-old?
Downvote for recommending a pro-spanking approach.
Jan
22
comment How strict can I be with my niece?
Downvoted because you beleive spanking other people's children is acceptable.
Jan
22
comment How can you deal with tantrums without spanking?
Up voted for the obvious answer of "pick your battles".
Jan
22
comment How can you deal with tantrums without spanking?
Downvoted for suggesting the use of physical violence. Not only is that wrong, but the question asker specifically asks for alternatives. Suggesting a slap or a pinch is abhorrant advice.
Jan
19
comment Cursive Handwriting for Lefties
Have a look ar briem.net to see if there's anything useful briem.net
Jan
15
comment How do I convince a stubborn 8 year old that the parents are supposed to be in charge?
Why do you so strongly want to be the boss? I'm not quite understanding that part. In your comment here you say that sometimes you just want her to do or not do something. If you cannot give a clear reason to yourself other than "just because" I can see why she doesn't understand. @user6365
Jan
15
comment How do I convince a stubborn 8 year old that the parents are supposed to be in charge?
This is a horrible answer. Physical violence and shouting at children are examples of parenting failures. Recommending these as tactics to use is awful.
Jan
15
comment Are there any effects from lying to your children?
A child crying when a parent leaves, and crying when they see the parent reappear at the end of the day, is a sign of a strong attachment. It is a positive sign, although hard to deal with. Your point about a routine and this getting easier over time is excellent - building trust makes the child feel more secure.
Jan
9
comment My son witnessed a friend receiving corporal punishment; how do I prevent this from sending the wrong message?
@Facebook Answers - cigarette burns are another example of abuse. Everyone would agree that cigarette burns are abusive, and most peoe would agree that involving child protection social services is appropriate. I'm not sure why you felt the need to make such a useless comment. The existence of one form of horrific abuse doesn't reduce the abusivness of other acts. Using your own weird logic someone with cig burns can't complain too much because there are people with cigarette burns and coat hanger whip welts.