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bio website security.stackexchange.com/…
location United Kingdom
age 45
visits member for 3 years, 3 months
seen 11 hours ago

I welcome friendly chats over email. dan dot bealecocks at googlemail dot com yes that's my real name.


2d
comment How do I get my 5 year old to be more appreciative and thankful for what she has?
See "the kindness elves" (warning: has some christian bits but those can be taken out if they don't suit) -- especially the bits about giving toys away to goodwill theimaginationtree.com/2013/11/…
Nov
21
comment 6-year-old bed wetting
you can ask the child to help clear up. Make sure you do this in a supportive way that's helping her learn some life skills and showing that you love and support her even during this difficult time in her life. Most certainly avoid all hints of punishment.
Nov
21
comment 6-year-old bed wetting
@koveras - it doesn't help in the long term. It is covered in the link I posted.
Nov
19
comment 8-year-old refuses to blow his nose
"Am I being unreasonable?" -- yes. You are allowing yourself to be dragged into unproductive arguments by an 8 year old. You might want to investigate Webster-Stratton and "The Wonder Years" which will give you techniques for this and other situations.
Nov
16
comment How to help (and bathe) a toddler who is terrified of the plughole in the bath?
Excellent answer!
Nov
15
comment Is it okay to call children naughty?
i) This is a leading question, and does not appear to be open to contradictory views even if they are supported by evidence. "Here's what I think, cherry pick the evidence to prove me right". ii) the actual question is buried under all the supporting text. Split that out so you have a short, open, question and an answer.
Nov
14
comment At what age does co-sleeping become detrimental to a child?
Co-sleeping is pretty harmful to sleep hygiene and that detriment starts early - about six months old. There's a bunch of risk associated with co-sleeping so it's hard to say when co-sleeping is not detrimental to the child.
Nov
5
comment Should a 5 year old excuse themselves after farting?
@sparr when someone says "excuse me!" They are not expecting anyone else to say "that's okay you are excused" - they are literally excusing themselves. It can't get much clearer and I'm not sure how you could get confused by this. Perhaps you should ask this question on ell (English language learners) stack exchange. ell.stackexchange.com
Nov
5
comment Should a 5 year old excuse themselves after farting?
@sparr - i haven't got a clue what you're trying to say. When you excuse yourself you use phrases such as "excuse me" or "pardon me" or "sorry". If Bob farts Bob will excuse himself by saying "excuse me!"
Nov
2
comment Dealing with an irresponsible 30 year old brother-in-law
Why can't he use public transport or a bicycle?
Oct
31
comment What are reasonable expectations and reasonable ways to be supportive for an young adult with a sleep disorder?
@fifelistener: "sub threshold" illness is still important to diagnose and treat. Luckily that would be a short course of CBT.
Oct
31
comment Encouraging independence
Have you tried asking him why he didn't get dressed in warmer clothes? Also forgetting to take his money is a different thing - children just are forgetful.
Oct
30
comment Should a 5 year old excuse themselves after farting?
@sparr - "excuse me! I just farted"; "pardon me!"; "sorry!"
Oct
16
comment Should Disney princess movies be avoided?
Frozen has great messages for young women. Sadly, it also has a short segment that stigmatises people with mental health problems and makes the common but mistaken assertion linking people with mental illness to violence against others. Also, who lets two year olds watch movies? The American association of pediatricians recommends no screen before two and restricted to one or two hours of quality screen time after two. aap.org/en-us/advocacy-and-policy/aap-health-initiatives/Pages/…
Oct
11
comment How should infant refer to Father (biological) and Father (step)?
Do you think a child has a right to know who his / her father is? You didn't mention that in your answer. Please don't mention law. OP did not say where they are nor what part of the legal process they're at, so you cannot say what is or isn't possible under law, but OP doesn't appear to be asking about law either. Your third paragraph appears to ignore the fact that OP is happy for the step-father to be called "daddy"; OP even calls the step-father "daddy"! This answer fails to answer either of the two very clear questions and you should consider deleting it.
Oct
3
comment How do I convince a stubborn 8 year old that the parents are supposed to be in charge?
@Bobo - physical punishment does not raise respectful or well-behaved children and even if it did it is immoral to use violence to acheive that aim. Luckily people who believe that it is acceptable to use violence against children are a declining minority and civilised nations have introduced laws to protect the rights of children against those aggressors.
Aug
10
comment Is a Set Bedtime Appropriate for Teens?
Please could you add the actual age in years rather than some weird reference to "high school".
Jul
31
comment Safe to take a baby under 6 months old to old folks home?
"(for that matter, so should any elderly be)" - depends on the person. People with dementia might have left advanced directives ordering no things like flu vaccinations.
Jul
26
comment In the USA in the year 2014, does the law forbid children from being out and about without close adult supervision?
Political, not parenting; narrow focus (Just US); not a question
Jul
18
comment Help - taken legal guardianship of 16 yr old sister who is moving in but already staying over with boys etc
She needs a child protection social worker. Call your local helpdesk. How did you become her legal guardian without socialwork involvement?