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bio website security.stackexchange.com/…
location United Kingdom
age 45
visits member for 3 years, 7 months
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I welcome friendly chats over email. dan dot bealecocks at googlemail dot com yes that's my real name.


1d
comment When is corporal punishment abuse, really?
"while also protecting the rights of the children" -- the rights of the child are not being protected and I'm a bit confused how you can say they are being protected when you quote a ruling that holds that physical injury is not a physical injury (a bizarre ruling) and that the infliction of a physical injury is not abuse unless the injury is intended. The US is on the wrong side of history and on the wrong side of international law.
2d
comment When is corporal punishment abuse, really?
This would hae been better as a shorter question and a longer answer. At the moment it doesn't fit the format for the site and should really be closed until it can be edited to fit.
Mar
23
comment My spouse keeps abusing drugs. I told them next time they used, they had to leave the house. Am I being too cruel?
You don't mention the child. The child has a human right, defined in international law, that means you need to do what's best for them. It is not in the child's best interest to be around someone addicted to drugs.
Mar
22
comment Thumbs splitting from changing nappies & repeated hand washing
Please leave this question open. Frequent hand-washing is something that many parents, especially new parents, will do. This can cause problems so this question is a useful place to point out the harm from over-frequent handwashing. It is likely that other parents will find this question. A fisherperson has a different problem with a different solution. Parents will want to know when they should use anti-microbial soaps for hand washing or if those don't serve any purpose.
Mar
22
comment Thumbs splitting from changing nappies & repeated hand washing
+1 useful answer. The US CDC have a document called "When Is Clean Is Too Clean?" which talks about the problems from frequent handwashing. wwwnc.cdc.gov/eid/article/7/2/70-0225_article
Mar
20
comment My partner let my children be around a pedophile
@A E People who work in the area prefer the term "images of child sexual abuse" over the term "child pornography".
Mar
18
comment My partner let my children be around a pedophile
@david boshton -- "images of child sexual abuse", rather than "child pornography".
Mar
16
comment How to communicate effectively with my 17-year-old daughter? And how to make her appropriately wary of strangers?
Your daughter is at far more risk of harm from siblings, then parents, then other members of her family, than she is from strangers. Teach her some simple safety measures (around alcohol; taking a photograph of any car she gets into and texting it to a trusted person) but really, 17 is way too late.
Mar
11
comment 2-year-old does not speak
WHAT DID YOUR DOCTOR SAY? WHAT WERE THE RESULTS OF THE HEARING TEST?
Mar
9
comment What to do when a 6-year-old expresses suicidal thoughts?
This question is clearly asking for medical advice. Parenting needs to sort out whether asking for medical advice is allowed or not because currently the system is baffling.
Mar
2
comment How do I instruct my openly defiant son?
In your example you engage with him when he's naughty but not when he isn't. He is controlling the situation - he can provoke a reaction from you by putting his boots on the back of the seat.
Mar
2
comment How do I instruct my openly defiant son?
"Your son is old enough to understand that current behavior can cause future punishments" -- not really; children learn this when they're in their 20s. I agree with you though, and upvoted this good post.
Mar
1
comment Suggestions to fight bacterial infection
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it's incoherent and can't be rescued to a meaningful question.
Feb
18
comment What should we do when our 15 year old wants sex with his 13 year old girlfriend?
"She comes from a broken and quite possibly violent home" -- what did child protection social services tell you when you contacted them?
Feb
18
comment What should we do when our 15 year old wants sex with his 13 year old girlfriend?
@superluminary: the victim would have to be under 13 for this to be counted as "statutory rape" (we don't have this but I take your point). It is a serious criminal offence though.
Feb
18
comment What should we do when our 15 year old wants sex with his 13 year old girlfriend?
@corsika - please provide some reference for your facts. As far as I can tell they're wrong and English law does not have gendered crimes for sex with a child. Your sentence seems wrong too - an adult having sex with a child risks a 14 year sentence; someone under 18 having sex with a child risks a 5 year sentence.
Feb
18
comment What should we do when our 15 year old wants sex with his 13 year old girlfriend?
English law: cps.gov.uk/news/fact_sheets/sexual_offences
Feb
17
comment 3.5yr old pre-schooler cannot deal with frustration
Thanks for this. I was going to add something similar. You can use your smartphone timer app and ask the child "How much longer do you want? 3 minutes or 5 minutes?" and then set the timer. Don't set the timer too long - children do not have a good working understanding for time.
Feb
14
comment Is early education for 2-3 year olds worth it?
i) trained adults might spot problems that you miss and thus you get early intervention (for example, parents usually don't have their children's eyes tested) ii) good schools have a lot of competition so you want to look early and learn what they want in applicants. I think a motivated home environment is more important ( if the school is adaquate.)
Feb
10
comment Toddler injured nose while playing
"Now, I don't want to be that "parent" who takes their child to doctor for even small things," -- doctors should be fine with parents who take their child in to see them even for 'small things'. A tiny number of parents are too anxious and will visit the doctor frequently - multiple times a week. Those parents need some better support. Also, in England, "Choose Well" where to go. Don't go to A&E for anything that's not an emergency.Here's one example of a local "Choose Well" campaign. choosewellglos.nhs.uk