3,209 reputation
724
bio website security.stackexchange.com/…
location United Kingdom
age 44
visits member for 3 years, 1 month
seen 15 hours ago

I welcome friendly chats over email. dan dot bealecocks at googlemail dot com yes that's my real name.


Jan
15
comment How do I convince a stubborn 8 year old that the parents are supposed to be in charge?
Why do you so strongly want to be the boss? I'm not quite understanding that part. In your comment here you say that sometimes you just want her to do or not do something. If you cannot give a clear reason to yourself other than "just because" I can see why she doesn't understand. @user6365
Jan
15
comment How do I convince a stubborn 8 year old that the parents are supposed to be in charge?
This is a horrible answer. Physical violence and shouting at children are examples of parenting failures. Recommending these as tactics to use is awful.
Jan
15
comment Are there any effects from lying to your children?
A child crying when a parent leaves, and crying when they see the parent reappear at the end of the day, is a sign of a strong attachment. It is a positive sign, although hard to deal with. Your point about a routine and this getting easier over time is excellent - building trust makes the child feel more secure.
Jan
13
awarded  Civic Duty
Jan
12
answered Simple, wooden, not painted or colourful toys, bricks?
Jan
9
comment My son witnessed a friend receiving corporal punishment; how do I prevent this from sending the wrong message?
@Facebook Answers - cigarette burns are another example of abuse. Everyone would agree that cigarette burns are abusive, and most peoe would agree that involving child protection social services is appropriate. I'm not sure why you felt the need to make such a useless comment. The existence of one form of horrific abuse doesn't reduce the abusivness of other acts. Using your own weird logic someone with cig burns can't complain too much because there are people with cigarette burns and coat hanger whip welts.
Jan
9
comment My son witnessed a friend receiving corporal punishment; how do I prevent this from sending the wrong message?
Perhaps it's a cultural thing, but smacking is illegal in most of Europe precisely because it is an abuse of the child's human rights. Smacking is abuse. Smacking is a clear sign that a parent has lost control of the situation. Smacking sends conflicting information to the child. Smacking is bad parenting. People who smack their children are bad, abusive, parents.
Jan
9
comment When to transition to letting the baby fall asleep on its own? Is my baby ready for sleep training?
PD - Put down to sleep. PU picked up to cuddle.
Jan
2
answered When to transition to letting the baby fall asleep on its own? Is my baby ready for sleep training?
Jan
2
answered How do I convince a stubborn 8 year old that the parents are supposed to be in charge?
Dec
27
comment Should I tell my 11-year-old daughter that Santa isn't real?
"If your child really does still believe in Santa, It might be more helpful to say something like, "Part of being a kid that stays on the 'good' list includes being grateful for what one is given."" - and this can be said even if the child obviously doesn't believe in Santa.
Dec
27
comment My son witnessed a friend receiving corporal punishment; how do I prevent this from sending the wrong message?
@moomoochoo - I don't know why. Smacking a child is an act of violence. There is no need for violence when disciplining a child. See Article 19 here- unicef.org/crc/files/Protection_list.pdf The US and Somalia are the only countries not to have ratified this yet. "States Parties shall take all appropriate legislative, administrative, social and educational measures to protect the child from all forms of physical or mental violence, [...]"
Dec
4
comment My son witnessed a friend receiving corporal punishment; how do I prevent this from sending the wrong message?
@FacebookAnswers - it is horrific. That Nanny risked the child's place at nursery. Smacking is a violation of the child's human rights. It is inhuman and degrading treatment. In the UK smacking is illegal if it leaves a mark. This woman is not the parent, and she risks a charge of assault unless she can show that she had parental responsibility and that the punishment was justified. The UK has weaker laws than most of the rest of Europe where smacking is illegal. Smacking is poor parenting.
Nov
22
comment How do I talk to my child about homelessness and mental illness?
This is a good answer. It manages to condense a complex topic into something suitable for discussion with a child, without stigmatising mental illness or homeless people.
Nov
17
answered Is carrying or cuddling a newborn a good way to soothe it in the long run?
Nov
17
answered What does one do to alleviate the discomfort of mastitis?
Nov
8
accepted How do you help a child with nightmares?
Nov
6
answered Different discipline approaches by working mommy and stay-home daddy
Nov
4
awarded  Custodian
Nov
4
reviewed Approve suggested edit on How do I wean my 2 year old from requiring holding my hand to sleep?