389 reputation
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location California
age 41
visits member for 2 years, 10 months
seen Apr 13 at 17:22

Apr
13
comment How can I prevent my 8-year-old from spending time with his bad friend?
@Borat No arguments there--help as much as you can. But your own child's safety is paramount.
May
17
comment My son Is 5 years Old and sexually active
You said: in such age the child still doesn't really have "sexuality" of his/her own; it's not like he enjoys what he's doing in a sexual way". Do you have any research to support this? I think it is a preposterous claim. Children may not fully understand sex, but they can definitely get erogenous sexual pleasure from it, including orgasms. I think it is irresponsible to make such claims without proper evidence.
Jan
1
comment How concerned should we be about Mice coming into the baby's room?
Third, get a cat or three.
Jan
1
comment Should we circumcise our son?
It is certainly clear that removing the foreskin does not affect one's ability to receive sexual stimulation and achieve orgasm. But your experience that with a circumision you have adequate erogenicity (if such is a word) says nothing about its benefits or drawbacks compared to being intact. Nothing. How do you know you're not missing anything? You've never experienced the other side!
Jan
1
comment Should we circumcise our son?
Those who make the argument that removing an organ results in fewer diseases to that organ (thus removal is beneficial) completely overlook the utter irony: the "health" benefits apply because the organ is gone, not because the organ is itself a risk. Did you know that if you remove your child's hands he will never burn them on the stove, either? There is a gigantic and unwarranted presupposition here: the foreskin is useless or even harmful, like an appendix--a prejudgment is made that its "ectomy" is acceptable. Only then does the "amputate" argument start to sound like sense.
Jan
1
comment Should we circumcise our son?
@SteveTaylor Incorrect. Circumcision removes much of the ridged band (NSFW: penis picture). The band "contains more Meissner's corpuscles than does the smooth mucosa and exhibits features of specialized sensory mucosa. ... The amount of tissue loss estimated in the present study is more than most parents envisage from pre-operative counselling. Circumcision also ablates junctional mucosa that appears to be an important component of the overall sensory mechanism of the human penis."
Jan
1
comment saving uneaten dinner for breakfast?
I agree with a lot of what you've said. I do something similar, though haven't been as nuanced about exact portion size (and perhaps ought to). I avoid making it a power struggle by just treating the food at the next meal as an accomplished fact. If my son has made an effort to eat and has eaten some of everything, then there is no holdover--the issue is, as you say, rejecting food that he even likes in favor of dessert or some activity he is excited about. Ironically, he has asked many times for his leftover dinner to be his morning snack. I feel good about helping not be a picky eater.
Nov
28
comment Will getting child care from a non-native English speaker impact my child's language development?
Yes I did! :) Fascinating book.
Nov
2
comment How can we discipline a strong-willed, misbehaving 5 year-old?
I agree with you. Yet, I don't think simply calling it "hitting" and thinking that ends the discussion makes sense--doing so is "reasoning by innuendo". At the risk of repeating myself, you can teach your kids to not hit, by hitting (and it may or may not be appropriate). And you can teach your kids to hit, without hitting (and it may or may not be appropriate).
Nov
2
comment How can we discipline a strong-willed, misbehaving 5 year-old?
I see parents so tied up in knots with the hitting taboo that they forget to protect their own kids from bullies. Letting bullies continue their behavior without consequence is terrible! Yeah, it's the bullies' own parents or school who are supposed to curb them, but when that's not happening, their victims must be empowered to protect themselves. I have given very clear instructions to my own son on how to handle bullies. Step 5 or 6 (after exhausting all other avenues) is "punch him in the stomach as HARD as you can 3 times. I may have to scold you publicly but I will support you privately."
Nov
2
comment How can we discipline a strong-willed, misbehaving 5 year-old?
You may be right. It obviously harmed me. I just don't think that "hitting is bad" is a good global rule to follow rigidly. I was trying to show also that hitting actually can be an effective way to teach children not to hit, and that a "NEVER hit" rule can actually be harmful to a child--it was to me. You wouldn't stand by and let a grown adult bash your face in over and over, and children shouldn't have to tolerate being hit by other kids, either. Perhaps the most loving thing some bullies need is to get punched back a few times.
Nov
2
comment How can we discipline a strong-willed, misbehaving 5 year-old?
Frankly, as a child I could have seriously used a little coaching to hit other children back. The extremely excessive spanking I received (at age 5 one time I was hit 60 times by a wooden spoon, as counted by my 12-year-old sister) didn't teach me how to hit, it taught me never to fight back. At age 12 I finally fought back physically against my tormentors and this was the first time anyone thought twice about roughing me up. I honestly think you have it a little mixed up. It isn't hitting that is necessarily the problem. It's the child receiving the love and resources he needs.
Sep
5
awarded  Nice Question
Jun
11
awarded  Yearling
Feb
12
revised Teaching a (almost) 3 year old she can fall asleep on her own
Corrected spelling
Feb
12
suggested suggested edit on Teaching a (almost) 3 year old she can fall asleep on her own
Feb
12
comment How can I get my toddler to exit discreetly when threatening-looking people are around?
Didn't answer the question.
Feb
11
comment How can I prevent my 8-year-old from spending time with his bad friend?
I like what you've said and only have one thing to add: while helping other children is admirable, our own children are still developing. If the exposure to the other child will do harm, then it is time to end it. It is for the eventual grown-up, equipped, confident young man that the child will become to go out and love everyone else. So inasmuch as the care for the other boy can be done structured, safe, and well-discussed when he is not around, more power to ya! As a child I was left helpless in the hands of some mean other children and this lack of protection & equipping was awful.
Jan
22
comment Should I send my child to Kindergarten early?
Everything you've said about what they need to learn sounds great. And you are right, challenge is required for growth. I just have doubts that 1 instructor per 20-30 students is really going to help that much in teaching the emotional skills you've mentioned. These strangers to the kids teach a government-selected curriculum, to meet testing standards, and in my experience they just cannot or do not engage with children on the level they need. Schools are full of challenges related to the emotional skills you've mentioned, but are strikingly missing the resources to actually teach them.
Jul
4
comment Is it harmful to a child's social development to tell them “don't talk to strangers”?
Just to address your point more directly. Teaching rules can be bad because if all you do is teach a child to follow rules, you are harming him: you must teach him to think for himself. But this applies equally well to lying with additional damage: Lying teaches the child to believe whatever he's told without thinking for himself. If he does begin to think for himself he will discover you to be unreliable and will feel broken trust. That, in my mind, is not a good way to teach him to think for himself because now he distrusts you instead of letting you guide him further in the quest.