24,246 reputation
758144
bio website torben.g-b.dk/+
location Austria
age 40
visits member for 3 years, 6 months
seen yesterday

Hello, world!

I'm a father of one pre-schooler and one toddler. My stake in this site is to learn from you, and also to contribute as much as I can!

Based on my own childhood and parenthood, my specialties are (among others): twins, languages, and international aspects. For the record, I'm an identical twin and married to a fraternal twin. I speak 4 languages fluently and I've lived in 5 countries (Europe, Japan).

I enjoy using my experience to help others. That is why I am active at even more SE sites in the StackExchange network on topics that interest me.

valuable flair!

Outside of this site, I'm something of a Swiss army knife both professionally and in private, able to juggle a wild variety of things at once. I've worked in every kind of business that uses software. I'm also very good with tools, both IT and mechanic. Whether you need software design or assembling some IKEA furniture, I'm your man for the job. I'm generally soft-spoken but driven by clear principles.

To learn more about me, see my Google+ profile.


Sep
28
comment My wife wants another baby but we are already grandparents! Help!
You just say "help" but what is your actual question to us that you want us to answer?
Sep
24
comment Is it safe to blow on a baby's face?
I like how you still managed to get a joking pout into your answer though. Your original use of knottage made me laugh but I have to say Joe has a point if your answer is intended to be serious.
Sep
23
comment How can I teach my 5yo son to respect authority?
@BBM are you describing your son, or mine??! Eerie.
Sep
21
comment How can I teach my 5yo son to respect authority?
I haven't accepted this (or any) answer yet because I don't feel ready to accept the reality it would imply. I awarded a bounty instead because this answer is extremely helpful in determining the root cause of the situation.
Sep
21
comment How can we discipline our toddler?
Update, three years later: Timeouts don't work except in very specific circumstances (see my comment to this answer). It's pretty much as @BBM describes: mostly ineffective and tiring.
Sep
21
comment Should I worried about my son's development? Or maybe my son's right brain is dominant?
Without going into the details you describe, keep in mind that all children are different. The other kid may be ahead right now but in half a year it can be other way round. Don't compare with others; there are a million factors that contribute to differences. Just look at each child separately. If your son is happy and healthy, that's great!
Sep
19
comment How can I teach my 5yo son to respect authority?
The phrasing in my "dictatorship" comment above was a summary for this site, and I can see how I wasn't clear about that. I don't talk to my kids (or anyone) in such a tone.
Sep
18
comment How can I teach my 5yo son to respect authority?
I have no idea how you came to that conclusion, but I can definitely rule it out.
Sep
18
comment Frequency of visits of in-laws
Not a full answer, but you two need to work on your marriage. She doesn't respect your concerns, and deliberately and repeatedly makes you uncomfortable. Co-owning the house does't give her the power to trample you like that; what a poor argument. She could meet him at his place instead, or elsewhere.
Sep
18
comment Is buying school supplies online worth it?
Isn't this more of a personal-finance topic? It doesn't relate very much to parenting.
Sep
18
comment How can I teach my 5yo son to respect authority?
@Jeremy I can assure you it's just wording. See my comment to Rookie Parenting's answer below; my description here applies after we've tried all our tools and tricks, including talk.
Sep
17
comment How can I teach my 5yo son to respect authority?
@the_lotus you'll have the sweetest kids on the block and be the envy of the entire kindergarten group :-) Look at it this way: the difficult kids are already taken! Besides, my rep count (has it been 3½ years already?) mostly shows how my contributions were received, not how well I execute them myself. Walking the talk is hard.
Sep
17
comment How can I teach my 5yo son to respect authority?
Dictatorship: Forgive me my wording. As I also mentioned, we strive to use reason and explanations but it often ends with some sort of definite ending from our side. If he won't accept our reasoning, he's going to have to accept that, sorry bub, that's just how it's going to be, because we're the parents, know better, and we say so in your best interest. The end. Believe me, we've tried all kinds of patience but eventually you reach a point where it all ends -- patience, arguments, reason. Thanks for your alternate perspective. I'm not convinced of ODD either, but I'm evaluating the option.
Sep
17
comment How can I teach my 5yo son to respect authority?
Let us continue this discussion in chat.
Sep
17
comment How can I teach my 5yo son to respect authority?
My wife is very good at loudly counting "1... 2..." (based on earlier posts here, and other received parenting advice) and we have never reached 3 yet. But it seems impossible to be absolutely consistent with this, and having to do this all the time is wearing us out. We've done this since age 2 and it is mostly effective in the specific situation but there has been zero improvement in the long term. This is disheartening, especially when seeing the contrast to his sweet younger brother.
Sep
17
comment How can I teach my 5yo son to respect authority?
Time-outing: our typical problem is that we can't enforce the time-out, at least not consistently. He won't stay in the assigned spot, he won't sit still or be quiet, he plainly won't obey. While I'm at work, my wife has limited means of enforcement because she can't leave the toddler unattended. While I'm home, the only consistently effective means of discipline is when I bodily carry him to his room and sit myself down in front of his door (on his side); this will calm him within 3-5 minutes every time but is not an option for my wife.
Sep
17
comment How can I teach my 5yo son to respect authority?
Adressing your questions: "siblings" - one well-balanced younger brother, aged 2, whom he generally terrorizes. "kids with ODD drive their parents crazy" and "ADHD" - I've been feeling that from the start. "a biological component" - there is one person in the family that only got his act together at around age 30.
Sep
16
comment How can I teach my 5yo son to respect authority?
Great thought! Yes we model good citizenship and frequently talk about following rules, e.g. in traffic, when we see a police car or officer, etc.
Sep
1
comment How and when to disclose to children a parent's suicide
So what is your answer to the "when" question? You only explained your situation but not what you'd recommend for others.
Aug
26
comment How are pregnancy ultrasounds administered?
In Austria, we got 3D ultrasounds as well. At no extra cost.