5,259 reputation
622
bio website tomjedrz.com
location California
age 48
visits member for 2 years, 10 months
seen Mar 30 at 22:49
Husband, Father, Catholic ... also a corporate IT stooge, just waiting for the scorn and ridicule to be heaped upon me.

Feb
25
comment How can you deal with tantrums without spanking?
@JeffAtwood Now it has been 3 years. How goes the parenting?
Feb
25
comment How can you deal with tantrums without spanking?
DanBeale ... seriously, is the world that black and white? You call that VIOLENCE? I specifically noted that the idea is NOT to be violent and not to punish, just to break the tantrum cycle. I told you
Jul
13
comment how to tackle 6.5 years old misbehaving boy?
@Henry Our job is not to be liked, or loved, or to be their friend. Our job is to raise kids who are good citizens and good people. Respecting authority starts with respect for parental authority.
Jul
13
comment how to tackle 6.5 years old misbehaving boy?
@WilliamGrobman I completely agree. Parenting is like sports, you get lots of attempts and you don't have to succeed on every attempt to be successful overall.
Jul
13
comment how to tackle 6.5 years old misbehaving boy?
Stop struggling ... BY TAKING CONTROL. Don't struggle .. succeed. It all starts with parental authority. I agree that parents can't control kids; that isn't the goal. The goal is that the kids controls themselves. When they don't, the parents act.
Mar
10
comment Why does my toddler cry when he's put to bed?
@erik Seriously .. "blank despair" after 5 minutes of crying? I think you are being a bit over-dramatic. Until you get a grip on reality, your kid is going to have you wrapped around his/her finger. Even an hour or two a night or crying for a week isn't going to scar the kid for life or destroy any hope of happiness.
Jan
10
comment What would be a effective way to explain pornography?
locounu .. why is "loose" pejorative? It is a reasonable word choice as the antonym of "restrictive" or "tight". I suggest you are being overly sensitive. What term would you suggest?
Oct
10
comment Do parents of teens need a locked liquor cabinet?
@Ape-inago I disagree with that approach, because then the kid is forced to lie to her friends. Further, you don't think that teenagers will test the locks?
Aug
3
comment What are some tips for making an international flight with a toddler?
@DaveClarke my sarcasm was obviously too subtle ...
Jun
12
comment How can I handle my toddler's bedtime-avoidance tricks?
The most important aspect is to NOT ACT FROM ANGER. You don't see people on Dr. Phil because they were spanked, but plenty whose Mom or Dad was "emotionally abusive."
Jun
12
comment How can I handle my toddler's bedtime-avoidance tricks?
Any punishment, in order to be effective, must be unpleasant. It must inflict discomfort of some kind in order to have an impact on future behavior. I don't see a difference between the physical discomfort and emotional discomfort, when both are given dispassionately and without anger.
Jun
12
comment How can I handle my toddler's bedtime-avoidance tricks?
How will you know if you don't read it? "Spanking" is non-specific and somewhat pejorative. He advocates using corporal punishment when other forms of punishment fail. I personally found a tight squeeze of the neck/shoulder muscle far more effective for defiance than anything else. Dobson clearly, specifically and repeatedly says one should not punish from anger. Which is worse .. effective corporal punishment delivered calmly, or repeating ineffective punishments with increasing levels of frustration and emotion?
May
10
comment Do parents of teens need a locked liquor cabinet?
@Beofett It was really a rhetorical question, along with some hope that the 17 year old isn't a parent.
May
9
comment Do parents of teens need a locked liquor cabinet?
What on earth are you doing on a parenting site?
May
9
comment Do parents of teens need a locked liquor cabinet?
I am sure that some do. But parents probably drive teens to drink more!
May
9
comment Is the child obesity epidemic biasing growth charts?
Who cares! Comparing your child against standards such as these is a distraction from the real concerns. Is the child healthy? Is the child growing? Is the child making progress?
May
9
comment How do you deal with when you've had a “parenting fail”?
Why on earth does the child get an apology?
Apr
17
comment We're looking to get pregnant - what can we do to optimize our chances?
I have always thought it interesting how couples will aggressively train the women's bodies not to get pregnant for decades, and then be confused when that it doesn't get pregnant immediately when they change their minds.
Apr
17
comment We're looking to get pregnant - what can we do to optimize our chances?
You mean in addition to having lots of sex ?-)
Apr
14
comment Is the “1 2 3 Magic” strategy for disciplining effective?
Sure, and I imagine that you were generally strict such that your kids obeyed in general. The OP has a situation of kid not listening, so overly strict seems necessary.