tomjedrz

4,720 reputation

518

bio	website	tomjedrz.com
	location	California
	age	47
visits	member for	1 year, 11 months
	seen	May 7 at 7:14
stats	profile views	71

Husband, Father, Catholic ... also a corporate IT stooge, just waiting for the scorn and ridicule to be heaped upon me.

	4,720 reputation	bio	website	tomjedrz.com	visits	member for	1 year, 11 months
518 badges		location	California		seen	May 7 at 7:14

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Mar 11	answered	How to help a child not to worry about sleeping
Mar 11	comment	evaluating social/emotional development I abhor the "Stepford child" attitude I see so frequently. On no, my child isn't "normal". There is no "normal", just as there is no "average". We spend far too much time and effort applying standards to our kids and then worrying about differences.
Mar 11	comment	evaluating social/emotional development @all "It helps to know what is socially/emotionally expected ... " is the problem. How can it be measured? If the goal is a "happy well adjusted child", then evaluate if your child is happy and well adjusted. If not, find out what and help your child. If yes, then who cares if the child has fewer friends than peers, or doesn't text message 100x/day, or only gets 1 birthday party invitation a month, or whatever measure some academic comes up with. This is one area where you should TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS.
Mar 8	comment	evaluating social/emotional development What is the point? What changes would less than stellar results lead you to make? Perhaps you should just make those changes ...
Mar 6	answered	How much of an effect does parenting style have on a child?
Feb 27	comment	How can I stop repeating myself? I agree with the praise, but it sounds to me like you are doing a lot of negotiating and "cajoling." Here is the thing. You want the kid to comply, without hesitation, because you said so. You don't want the kid to evaluate the command and decide on compliance or not. You want it to be a habit .. Dad speaks, kid complies, without discussion, without argument, without negotiation. The only way to get there is to apply punishment immediately upon non-compliance, every time, without hesitation.
Feb 27	comment	Is the “1 2 3 Magic” strategy for disciplining effective? The "straight to punishment" part IS THE ENTIRE POINT. If the kid knows you are going to say it twice, there is no reason to listen the first time. If the parent has been repeating and getting angry consistently, it might take 50 cycles of speak, wait, punish for the kid to figure it out and adapt. But believe me, the kid will eventually adapt.
Feb 27	answered	Nightowl at 5 years old. Any way of dealing with it?
Feb 27	answered	Is it okay for my newborn to sleep in a travel bed instead of his crib?
Feb 27	answered	How can I stop repeating myself?
Feb 22	comment	How do you get a child to eat? Please clarify ... is he normal for height and weight, and is he getting nutrition some other way, such as from a bottle or breast?
Feb 22	comment	What would be a effective way to explain pornography? The idea is that you can't prevent them from exposure, but you can help them realize how terrible and destructive it is, so that they will have second thoughts.
Feb 21	comment	Help for my friend's pre-schooler who eats too much This strikes me as something that should be brought up to a doctor.
Feb 19	comment	How can I address issues that concern me at daycare (and school) without creating tension with the staff? @TorbenGundtofte-Bruun The problem can only be faced and resolved if the provider is willing to listen and take action. My point is that if they are not willing to do so, that unwillingness should be properly weighted.
Feb 19	comment	When did you let your child play around your house unattended? (by herself) @Treb Yes ... the nanny state is encouraging people to think that the government needs to get involved in everything.
Feb 19	comment	Moving with our bilingual child @Treb Indoctrination instead of education is common everywhere unfortunately.
Feb 19	comment	What should one look for in first firearms training for children? Great question! I would answer, but @HedgeMage nailed it.
Feb 19	comment	What should one look for in first firearms training for children? +1 Nice answer .. I can't add a thing!
Feb 19	answered	What would be a effective way to explain pornography?
Feb 19	comment	What would be a effective way to explain pornography? @TorbenGundtofte-Bruun I think saarthak answered the question very precisely. He will tell his children that porn is contrary to the values in which he believes, which include chastity and purity. Absent those values, what exactly is wrong with porn?