5,279 reputation
622
bio website tomjedrz.com
location California
age 48
visits member for 2 years, 11 months
seen Mar 30 at 22:49
Husband, Father, Catholic ... also a corporate IT stooge, just waiting for the scorn and ridicule to be heaped upon me.

Mar
25
answered How do you know when a baby needs to be burped?
Mar
20
answered How can I handle my toddler's bedtime-avoidance tricks?
Mar
20
comment Should I use a child harness?
We used a harness in busy places .. travelling, amusement parks, the mall .. mainly to avoid her getting lost in the crowds.
Mar
20
comment Is it reasonable to put limits on a pre-teen playing video games?
I don't care if the video games are the cause .. this is about rewarding desired behavior and punishing undesirable behavior. If the kid loves video games, then they are a powerful incentive.
Mar
17
awarded  Nice Answer
Mar
15
comment Is it reasonable to put limits on a pre-teen playing video games?
@Treb I agree in theory but not in practice. Except in the most demanding of classes, grades are virtually 100% correlated with effort and discipline.
Mar
14
answered What to do about night owl kids?
Mar
14
answered Can Constant Alarm Testing in Building Pose Emotiona/Psychological Concerns for our Infant?
Mar
14
answered Is there any harm to letting an infant's hair grow long?
Mar
13
awarded  Nice Answer
Mar
12
answered Is it reasonable to put limits on a pre-teen playing video games?
Mar
11
answered How to help a child understand why she'll move back to her old school again?
Mar
11
answered How to help a child not to worry about sleeping
Mar
11
comment evaluating social/emotional development
I abhor the "Stepford child" attitude I see so frequently. On no, my child isn't "normal". There is no "normal", just as there is no "average". We spend far too much time and effort applying standards to our kids and then worrying about differences.
Mar
11
comment evaluating social/emotional development
@all "It helps to know what is socially/emotionally expected ... " is the problem. How can it be measured? If the goal is a "happy well adjusted child", then evaluate if your child is happy and well adjusted. If not, find out what and help your child. If yes, then who cares if the child has fewer friends than peers, or doesn't text message 100x/day, or only gets 1 birthday party invitation a month, or whatever measure some academic comes up with. This is one area where you should TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS.
Mar
8
comment evaluating social/emotional development
What is the point? What changes would less than stellar results lead you to make? Perhaps you should just make those changes ...
Mar
6
answered How much of an effect does parenting style have on a child?
Feb
27
comment How can I stop repeating myself?
I agree with the praise, but it sounds to me like you are doing a lot of negotiating and "cajoling." Here is the thing. You want the kid to comply, without hesitation, because you said so. You don't want the kid to evaluate the command and decide on compliance or not. You want it to be a habit .. Dad speaks, kid complies, without discussion, without argument, without negotiation. The only way to get there is to apply punishment immediately upon non-compliance, every time, without hesitation.
Feb
27
comment Is the “1 2 3 Magic” strategy for disciplining effective?
The "straight to punishment" part IS THE ENTIRE POINT. If the kid knows you are going to say it twice, there is no reason to listen the first time. If the parent has been repeating and getting angry consistently, it might take 50 cycles of speak, wait, punish for the kid to figure it out and adapt. But believe me, the kid will eventually adapt.
Feb
27
answered Nightowl at 5 years old. Any way of dealing with it?