5,447 reputation
922
bio website tomjedrz.com
location California
age 49
visits member for 3 years, 2 months
seen Jul 24 at 16:22
Husband, Father, Catholic ... also a corporate IT stooge, just waiting for the scorn and ridicule to be heaped upon me.

Apr
17
comment We're looking to get pregnant - what can we do to optimize our chances?
I have always thought it interesting how couples will aggressively train the women's bodies not to get pregnant for decades, and then be confused when that it doesn't get pregnant immediately when they change their minds.
Apr
17
comment We're looking to get pregnant - what can we do to optimize our chances?
You mean in addition to having lots of sex ?-)
Apr
14
answered How much time is too much time playing educational computer games?
Apr
14
comment Is the “1 2 3 Magic” strategy for disciplining effective?
Sure, and I imagine that you were generally strict such that your kids obeyed in general. The OP has a situation of kid not listening, so overly strict seems necessary.
Apr
8
revised Addressing bad behavior after the fact
Spelling, remove a bit of equivocation
Apr
8
comment Addressing bad behavior after the fact
+1 I agree with TGB ... and would in fact second the notion that intentional disobedience must be dealt with harshly. I define "a while" as within the memory. Also, don't be concerned about who instigates, be concerned about choices your child makes and actions your child takes. It matters little who thought of it.
Apr
6
answered How do I get a young toddler to walk holding my hand?
Apr
6
comment How can I stop repeating myself?
@Kevin I thought I got pedantic. I said "a second or two" as in a "small amount of time", like "hold on a second", not "1 or 2 seconds" as an exact unit of time. However long you think it takes the child to process and not much longer.
Apr
5
answered Do toddlers need every size of shoe?
Apr
5
comment Fostering a relationship with a relative your child doesn't like
@PéterTörök I don't have a huge problem with my child suffering a few wet kisses from Aunt Maggie. IMHO that is preferable to risking hurt feelings. Emerson once said that "Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices."
Apr
2
answered Advice for carrying out the “Stay in Bed” technique with our 2-year-old
Apr
2
comment Advice for carrying out the “Stay in Bed” technique with our 2-year-old
+1 @TorbenGundtofte-Bruun I was (and still am) the same way .. sleep is a necessary evil.
Apr
2
comment Advice for carrying out the “Stay in Bed” technique with our 2-year-old
I imagine they edited out a bunch of the repetitive "say nothing and put the child back", if for no other reason than time constraints.
Apr
2
comment Fostering a relationship with a relative your child doesn't like
@PéterTörök .. OK fine. Are you saying that when one is angry one should express it .. red face and clenched fists and all? I say NO. One must be able to control one's actions in the midst of strong emotion. When the impulse is to punch rather than to be rude, you certainly agree with me. But the concept is exactly the same.
Apr
2
comment Fostering a relationship with a relative your child doesn't like
In the situation being discussed, how exactly would the child openly and honestly express their feelings while being polite? When in doubt, be polite.
Apr
2
awarded  Necromancer
Apr
1
comment Fostering a relationship with a relative your child doesn't like
@PéterTörök You certainly did make the equation to which I refer ... "... forcing him/her to be always polite and nice with everyone, effectively making her totally repress her internal feelings and thoughts ... "
Apr
1
comment Fostering a relationship with a relative your child doesn't like
@PéterTörök My reading of your answer is essentially Yes, but No. It depends. Enforcing courtesy is good, but the child should not repress. Punishing the child is good, but explain to the child. Behaving properly is great as long as they understand why. Kumbaya. My approach is more direct and specific. I think that is really the difference.
Apr
1
comment Fostering a relationship with a relative your child doesn't like
@PéterTörök The phrasing is important here. One should not attempt to control one's emotions ... that is destructive in the long run. One should control one's actions and behaviors when experiencing strong emotions. I don't care if my child viscerally despises crazy Aunt Sally as long as she is polite and courteous in her presence.
Apr
1
comment Fostering a relationship with a relative your child doesn't like
@PéterTörök You made the equation, not me. As to the false choice you press for the remainder .. punishing for transgressions does not exclude explaining the reasons for the expectations. Train children to behave properly; the why can follow.