Hot answers tagged

42

This is actually a pretty common problem. Basically, it boils down to you starting to stand on your own but your parents not liking some of the decisions you've made. They feel that you still need their guidance and protection and you feel that you don't. It's a struggle that pretty much everyone goes through at some point. Everyone's situation is different, ...


36

Going from your answers and with my gut-feeling: Try to get your counsellor to REALLY push for some family-sessions. These are NOT for "you did this, so I did that" blaming, but hopefully for supervised LISTENING. Right now, the relationship to your father sounds deeply broken from both sides, and you both need help to understand each other again. If your ...


18

First of great you took the step to counseling, you should continue your visits. But do not expect immediate results, this will likely be a slow process. If I understand your situation somewhat you made some bad choices in (boy)friends and now your father doesn't trust any of your friends anymore. You need to show your father he can trust you again and this ...


14

Be honest about why you are leaving. It sounds like a really terrible job that is giving you nothing but a paycheck, and you don't necessarily need the paycheck. That's a wonderful reason to leave. "This is making me very unhappy, I want to follow my dream, and here is my plan for enacting my dream." Focus on the positives. You aren't very specific about ...


13

This answer is somewhat in vein of @user1450877, but more specific. As others noted, the main problem is that your parents don't trust your judgement. In a superficial way, it's a situation similar to someone with a poor credit history, and the solution is similar as well. As a parent, the only way to regain that trust is to tangibly demonstrate a ...


11

It is very likely that daycare will allow you to bring refrigerated or frozen breast milk and that your partner will be able to pump at work, but it takes dedication and logistics. I will share my experience, as it worked for us and was improved over months of trial/error. I went back to work when my baby was 3 months old. Each day, (after nursing my ...


10

It is hard to say what is best to do without knowing more information, but I'll share my thoughts based on what you said. I can't know what caused your parents to act the way they do, but it does not seem like a supportive environment for you now. If the situation is not downright abusive though (are you physically in danger?), I wouldn't suggest doing ...


8

You will probably be able to provide your own milk. Talk to daycare facilities you're considering and find out their policy. Some include formula and diapers as part of their services, some do not. Ours required parents to bring in the baby's food (whether breastmilk or formula) and stored it in the fridge with the bottle clearly labeled. Even in cases ...


6

When I was a teenager, my parents had one unbreakable rule. At any given time they had to know where I was, who I was with, and when I would be home. If any of those things changed, I had to call. This seemed unfair to me until my parents pointed out they voluntarily do this for each other. It's a natural part of engendering trust, and if anything should ...


6

The problem is they don't trust your judgement. Maybe they have a reason to, as in trying to protect you from older men, or maybe they are just over protective but it comes from a place of love. They just want what is best for you . The best way to change things is to talk to them. Ask them what their fears are, why they don't trust you and what you can do ...


6

I am was born and raised in Asia and spent some time in the US for school and work. I can say that I have seen both Western and Eastern ideologies from both family and friends. In the Western world, it is more about chasing your dream while the Eastern, it is more about taking care of the family and name no matter how bad it gets. What you are experiencing ...


5

A young teenager in any society is likely ill-equipped to make wise decisions for adults. I understand that you love her and you want her to be happy. To that end, as a parent you owe her love, shelter, food, stability, some amenities and guidance. It sounds like you've given her that and more. Now, maybe you can teach her the importance and rewards of ...


3

I never thought about it before, so here are a few things that just popped into my mind : You can maybe play "hide & seek" : your wife hide the device somewhere while still connected and your kid has to find "you" back sing-a-long with a little organisation you can probably also read him a book (while your wife turns the pages) have him make and send ...


2

He's a little young yet, but when he turns 5 you might seriously consider enrolling him in a martial arts class. In addition to the benefit of giving him a physical outlet, it will help teach him when it is appropriate (and when not appropriate) to hit or kick. My son learned some very good habits at tai kwan do...they stressed self discipline, self ...


2

16 is a difficult time for everybody, and most of the time parents are right and teenagers are wrong. Some parents are overprotecting, but is still love not hate. The problem is that teens only realize and accept that when they are 25+. We grow up with the self centered impression that parents have no idea and they are against us, but, as cold as it may ...


2

I'm posting this as a second answer, since you seem to have asked 2 questions in one. My other answer deals with answering "how do I improve this situation?" This one answers another one, although it was clarified in comments more than a question: you have a problem with your dad knowing everything you do. The answer to that is, is there a major reason for ...


1

This situation is, at least as you've described it without knowing more details, unfair to you (as you imply but don't directly state). However, many many things that will happen to you in your life will be unfair. Perhaps even grossly so. One thing to remember is that its up to you how to deal with it: its only wasted time if you fail to make the best of ...


1

You cannot get out - but you can still access the internet. Problem with internet is that it is not easy to find out who is real friend and who is con. Aim for communities where members are graded by some kind of "karma" like on this forum. I highly recommend to look at free online course "science of happiness". ...


1

This sounds familiar... :) Here are some things we did which helped us: making sure we go outdoor at any given opportunity (you're already doing that, I see) because he can use all his energy and then behave at home enrol him in sports at least during autumn/winter. In our town some places offer sport "classes" for 3-4 year old kids where they mostly run, ...


1

First, it's important that you and your husband come to an understanding about this first. That's more important than your daughter, who is not mature enought yet to understand everything. You and your husband must be a united front. If the two of you are at odds about what's happening, your daughter will surely be confused as well. When you start a ...


1

Perhaps explaining to your daughter that entrepreneurial efforts in many ways are more work than just accepting someone else's job. It's always been my opinion that conventional employment is not worth the praise it is given. To be sure, many conventional jobs are noble ones. I respect a road worker job far more than criminal defense lawyer and I think the ...


1

You have a difficult situation, and I sympathise enormously. Your wifes desires are entirely emotional and instinctual so rational arguments probably won't make any difference. My wife originally wanted to have 3 children. We eventually agreed to have only one child. After our son arrived, my hormonal reaction kicked in and I became open to having ...


1

The question seems to assume that the impact is negative, but research is showing the exact opposite. This study came out just last month showing that a working mother is correlated with positive outcomes for her children across cultures. Adult daughters of working mothers are more likely to be employed, earn higher wages, and hold supervisory positions. ...



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