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11

Parents often try to keep their children from ever having to be uncomfortable. It's a laudable goal, but not only is it unattainable, it often backfires to make it worse. The least traumatic in the long term way to leave the house is to have a going away ritual and a coming home ritual. Say, "I'm going to work," give them a hug, be happy, and leave ...


7

I don't see that you're lying to her when you send her to her room and then sneak out - that sounds more like tricking her. My question is, will this kind of "lying" to her have any long lasting psychological effects of her when she grows up ? I am not a psychologist but I don't think this will give her permanent problems. But it can very well give ...


6

Every parent tries to figure out how to keep their first child from being sad when they leave, and I don't know a single one who succeeded. It's just something kids have to go through, and they will grow out of it when they are mature enough to realize you are coming back. Until that time, any cheering up you try to do just prolongs the agony. If she sees ...


5

Don't make the mistake of confusing your child's comfort with your own. You think you are trying to make your child feel better about you leaving, but really you're trying to make yourself feel better about leaving. Children go through multiple stages where they have separation anxiety; that's normal. Addressing them properly helps their development; ...


5

It sounds like you have a child who has a hard time falling asleep. This was me as a kid - I didn't do all of the above, but it took me hours to fall asleep, literally. I would lie down with the lights off at 10pm, and not fall asleep for one to two hours most nights - then still wake up around 7am. A seven year old child is old enough to have intelligent ...


5

As long as the dad is responsible parent that takes well being and security of your son seriously then your son will benefit from having both parents in his life. They both can teach the child about life from different perspective and provide relationship that helps with emotional development. The dad has also right to have his son as part of his life given ...


5

I think if you're only 25 years old you have a good 10-15 years for some babymaking. All your points sound valid and I agree completely. I think you should ask your wife for some time. Set a date. Perhaps a year or two from now when you'll can open this discussion up again. Maybe one of you will change your minds by then. At the moment I'm guessing shes at ...


4

While you asked about pro/con of more children, I am going to take a step back and puzzle something out of the arguments you presented. Note that your arguments are either very logical (bigger house, more money) or a little constructed (as someone pointed out - age gap and time to kids doesn't really work like that). A side note: One thing you have not ...


4

I don't lie to my children out of principle, but I also think that lying to them will eventually teach them not to trust you (as much). As a parent, this is not a situation I want to be in. When I say, "Don't come into the kitchen while I'm frying hamburgers, you could get hurt," I want the child to believe me. This is not a lesson that must be learned the ...


4

I am not aware of any unusual long term psychological effects this may cause. But from an educational point of view this of course contributes to your kids development, depending on how often you lie to them and how severe the lies are. Always remember that children will assume their parents behaviour as the prototypical human behaviour, when learning ...


3

Lying or tricking her now doesn't really seem like a harmful thing at the moment but it will soon become a habit. And when this occurs your child will gradually stop believing what you say or worse still think its okay to do the same to you as they grow older. Possible Solution: Since this is an everyday thing and you have no choice but to go to work I ...


3

There are several complicated issues you will need to resolve, some of which may not be issues for you depending on your approach to child rearing. This is very complicated for a young baby (let's say, under 1); after 1 it's less complicated (though certainly not 'easy'). Challenges to leaving the child home First off, are you planning to exclusively ...


2

I think your daughter is expressing her sadness in her own way. Every child varies in how they express emotions, and not every child will cry. Maybe by turning her face away from you, she is coping with your absence by giving herself some control over your leaving. In other words, she will stop seeing you at the moment SHE chooses; she will not be at the ...


1

It takes a while for a child to become confident that a parent leaving will come back. Give her time to learn this. Younger children only have a vague understanding of time and have great difficulties looking ahead for longer than a few minutes, but eventually they will learn that absence is only temporarily. If you want to ease the path to this ...


1

You are far too nice, and your 7-YO has learned, subconsciously, to manipulate you to get what she wants. Be clear that after 9pm is your time, she will get nothing other than directions back to bed. She is not hungry - you saw her eat dinner. She is not thirsty (leave a bottle of water in the bedroom to halt this complaint) and at 7 she can use the ...


1

Offer an incentive to do something extremely boring: Reading from a Chemistry, Math, Philosophy textbook Listening to a poetry audiobook Any Netflix tv show on Quantum physics Beats the heck out of counting sheep, but if it actually stimulates her mind instead of putting her to sleep: you get a genius! You can't lose.


1

During the Pregnancy That depends entirely on your girlfriend. In my case, we bought a house about 7 weeks before my wife was due, so she couldn't do much, and I needed to do most of the homebuying myself. Fortunately for me, my wife was a researcher and was able to find support groups online (other people due the same month), so there wasn't too much that ...


1

You should explain things to your kids. The rule is that stop speaking as soon as they change the subject and follow their lead. White lies will always come up now and again (eg. Father Christmas) but you should credit the children with more ability to understand than you appear to be giving them right now. An example: I have a daughter, nearly three, who ...


1

Listen, I am in the same boat as his wife. I want 4 kids and my husband wants to stick with 3. It is a hard thing to figure out. Some people say that both should be on board with more children. In a perfect world, I agree with that. However, shouldn't both also be on board with stop having children. Why is it ok for the wife to get her dreams crushed? I ...



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