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19

My wife, almost two weeks after a C-section, is able to do practically all work related to baby care. Only baths are left to me, and even then she does assist me. I'd like to think we do 50% of the work, but actually she probably does more. I am currently on a leave and soon I will go to work - and during the day she will have to take care of our baby on her ...


14

Wow!! I feel for you. Being a new parent is exhausting, nerve-wracking and a little confusing = it really does take a village. To anwer the question about what your wife can or cannot do, I'll share my experience (though everyone's is different and I don't know which complications she had etc, etc) I had a c-section and was up and moving around doing ...


10

Parents often try to keep their children from ever having to be uncomfortable. It's a laudable goal, but not only is it unattainable, it often backfires to make it worse. The least traumatic in the long term way to leave the house is to have a going away ritual and a coming home ritual. Say, "I'm going to work," give them a hug, be happy, and leave ...


6

I don't see that you're lying to her when you send her to her room and then sneak out - that sounds more like tricking her. My question is, will this kind of "lying" to her have any long lasting psychological effects of her when she grows up ? I am not a psychologist but I don't think this will give her permanent problems. But it can very well give ...


6

I have a few suggestions based on my own experience and the experience of friends: Stay hydrated; dehydration will negatively impact your milk supply. Sleep (safely) with your baby. Increased access to night nursing will help maintain milk supply. Even if you only keep the baby in your bed part of the night it will help. Ideally you will become so ...


5

As long as the dad is responsible parent that takes well being and security of your son seriously then your son will benefit from having both parents in his life. They both can teach the child about life from different perspective and provide relationship that helps with emotional development. The dad has also right to have his son as part of his life given ...


5

To the other excellent answers, I would also add that many new mothers experience a lack of confidence, and sometimes this is made worse by the fact that they had to have a C-section (it is a bit irrational, but it can feel like you somehow failed at your first basic task of motherhood). As you have taken over much of the care, it may have made her feel more ...


5

Arguments and logic won't work here. I think (personal opinion) that both parents need to want the baby. Otherwise the relationship between parents (and parent-child possibly) will be strained and who knows what could that cause in the long run. So you have to, literally - have to - reach a consensus. I suggest trying to approach the problem from the other ...


5

Don't make the mistake of confusing your child's comfort with your own. You think you are trying to make your child feel better about you leaving, but really you're trying to make yourself feel better about leaving. Children go through multiple stages where they have separation anxiety; that's normal. Addressing them properly helps their development; ...


4

It sounds like you have a child who has a hard time falling asleep. This was me as a kid - I didn't do all of the above, but it took me hours to fall asleep, literally. I would lie down with the lights off at 10pm, and not fall asleep for one to two hours most nights - then still wake up around 7am. A seven year old child is old enough to have intelligent ...


4

I don't lie to my children out of principle, but I also think that lying to them will eventually teach them not to trust you (as much). As a parent, this is not a situation I want to be in. When I say, "Don't come into the kitchen while I'm frying hamburgers, you could get hurt," I want the child to believe me. This is not a lesson that must be learned the ...


4

I am not aware of any unusual long term psychological effects this may cause. But from an educational point of view this of course contributes to your kids development, depending on how often you lie to them and how severe the lies are. Always remember that children will assume their parents behaviour as the prototypical human behaviour, when learning ...


4

Research into attachment disorders like reactive attachment disorder show that inattentive primary caregivers or sudden changes of primary caregivers under age 3 or so can have permanent effects on a child's ability to bond with future caregivers, no matter how stable the relationship is after that point. It's something foster and adoptive parents are ...


3

I think if you're only 25 years old you have a good 10-15 years for some babymaking. All your points sound valid and I agree completely. I think you should ask your wife for some time. Set a date. Perhaps a year or two from now when you'll can open this discussion up again. Maybe one of you will change your minds by then. At the moment I'm guessing shes at ...


3

Lying or tricking her now doesn't really seem like a harmful thing at the moment but it will soon become a habit. And when this occurs your child will gradually stop believing what you say or worse still think its okay to do the same to you as they grow older. Possible Solution: Since this is an everyday thing and you have no choice but to go to work I ...


3

If you currently can't keep up with demand, supplementing with formula will not change the amount of milk you produce. You will still produce what you currently manage, but will also be able to top up baby. We did exactly this - giving all three of ours a bottle of formula as the last feed at night. Benefits: I got to be useful at the nice end of the ...


3

There are several complicated issues you will need to resolve, some of which may not be issues for you depending on your approach to child rearing. This is very complicated for a young baby (let's say, under 1); after 1 it's less complicated (though certainly not 'easy'). Challenges to leaving the child home First off, are you planning to exclusively ...


1

I actually feel there are a couple of more options you could consider, along with the ones presented, as well as some pros/cons: Travel with husband and baby Pros: Allows you to do what usually do, just with the baby. Lets you stay close to the baby without missing conferences (You will probably be emotionally attached) Cons: Safety Since you on a ...


1

I think there are a few separate questions in here, and I'm not sure how to unpick them. The one about leaving the child with another caregiver seems to be very easy to disprove - people have been doing this since the dawn of time, in fact many cultures leave children with grandparents as standard. We certainly have taken as many opportunities to leave our ...


1

During the Pregnancy That depends entirely on your girlfriend. In my case, we bought a house about 7 weeks before my wife was due, so she couldn't do much, and I needed to do most of the homebuying myself. Fortunately for me, my wife was a researcher and was able to find support groups online (other people due the same month), so there wasn't too much that ...


1

You should explain things to your kids. The rule is that stop speaking as soon as they change the subject and follow their lead. White lies will always come up now and again (eg. Father Christmas) but you should credit the children with more ability to understand than you appear to be giving them right now. An example: I have a daughter, nearly three, who ...


1

While you asked about pro/con of more children, I am going to take a step back and puzzle something out of the arguments you presented. Note that your arguments are either very logical (bigger house, more money) or a little constructed (as someone pointed out - age gap and time to kids doesn't really work like that). A side note: One thing you have not ...



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