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55

I have been working (programming) from home for 6 years now and have 3 children (7, 5, 2). It is certainly possible, but I think the most important thing is a home office. An office with a locking door is essential. I always work in my office with the door shut. If I have a conference call or really need to put my head down I will lock the door. Every now ...


42

What most of the answers imply but don't out and out say which should be made absolutely clear is that if you're the one caring for the child (as opposed to just being in the house at the same time as the child and the other parent/nanny/carer) it's close to impossible in the long term. Generally the workable situations people talk about assuming another ...


36

You're only 25 years old, your oldest hasn't even started school yet, your youngest is 9 months old, and you want another? Wow, your wife is in a hurry. My immediate impression is that your wife is living in a dream world, striving toward some fantasy that she perhaps hasn't shared with you yet. You definitely need to talk more - and go deeper in those ...


20

My wife, almost two weeks after a C-section, is able to do practically all work related to baby care. Only baths are left to me, and even then she does assist me. I'd like to think we do 50% of the work, but actually she probably does more. I am currently on a leave and soon I will go to work - and during the day she will have to take care of our baby on her ...


18

From all the classes I have taken (I have a Bachelor’s degree in Human Development and Family Studies), we learned that the primary factors influencing child outcomes when both parents work is the happiness of the parents with their roles. Looking back through one of my textbooks (Child, Family, School, Community: Socialization and Support 7th ed. by Roberta ...


16

It's normal for spouses to have disagreements, even on the big things. It doesn't necessarily mean your marriage is in trouble. It means you have a problem to work through together. Hopefully you talked about children before deciding to get married. However, even if you did, no one really understands what being a parent is like until they experience it. ...


15

You are asking very difficult question. I grew up with a working mom in a former Soviet Union, and most of my classmates had working moms. I don't think it had any negative impact. On the positive side, I was pretty independent from around 9 years old - I took public transportation and went to activities myself. Luckily she was pretty flexible when it ...


15

We're still relatively new to the situation (7 months in; 3 if you discount the leave my wife and I took from work after our son was born), but we've definitely noticed some pros and cons, particularly in the daycare vs. nanny/SAH parent. Pro Socialization. We've definitely seen some real boost in developmental growth in certain areas due to the time our ...


15

Wow!! I feel for you. Being a new parent is exhausting, nerve-wracking and a little confusing = it really does take a village. To anwer the question about what your wife can or cannot do, I'll share my experience (though everyone's is different and I don't know which complications she had etc, etc) I had a c-section and was up and moving around doing ...


14

Toddlers go through phases quickly, and it sounds like he's in the middle of a NEVER PUT ME DOWN phase. It sounds like he is just crying as a way to relieve stress -- in his mind, he had a tough day, and when you're finally home he wants to let you know just how hard it was being a toddler all day long. (I think that is perhaps why he cries even more if you ...


14

Be honest about why you are leaving. It sounds like a really terrible job that is giving you nothing but a paycheck, and you don't necessarily need the paycheck. That's a wonderful reason to leave. "This is making me very unhappy, I want to follow my dream, and here is my plan for enacting my dream." Focus on the positives. You aren't very specific about ...


13

As a former military wife, I had to work through this stuff with my son, too. The most important things you can do are to help them understand what's going on, provide a connection to Daddy when he's gone, maintain consistent routines and expectations, and give your kids a sense of control over things. I suggest: Keep a family calendar so they can see ...


12

Parents often try to keep their children from ever having to be uncomfortable. It's a laudable goal, but not only is it unattainable, it often backfires to make it worse. The least traumatic in the long term way to leave the house is to have a going away ritual and a coming home ritual. Say, "I'm going to work," give them a hug, be happy, and leave ...


12

It's just like anything else. You set limits and you enforce them. Being a video game enthusiast myself, I wanted to point out a few things you might want to consider in setting those limits. Some games are very easy to set down at any time, and some aren't. Some games can only be saved at fixed checkpoints. Some have cut scenes that can't be paused or ...


11

I'm late to the party, but I have a little bit to add. I've been working from home with an infant/toddler for over a year. No daycare, mom works part time. The main difference is the social aspect. The secondary one is you have to take your normal amount of telecommuting discipline and multiply it by 5. As everyone else has said (it's the best advice) ...


11

We had to send my son to daycare by the time he was 3 months old. My wife got 4 weeks of maternity leave, and then used 4 weeks of vacation to extend it to two months. I had saved up 4 weeks of vacation/personal time as well, so I took over staying home once my wife had to go back to work. At 3 months, we started taking our son to a friend who was ...


10

I've been working from home for years, have 2 kids (6yrs old and 3) and it is possible to get work done and be productive. You need to establish how and when you work and be consistent. Kids need for the rules to apply everytime so what ever you come up with stick to it. I will work with the door to my office closed if I cannot be disturbed and even a 1 ...


10

It turns out that most of these laws vary state to state. I did some research and this site has the US federal, and state by state laws relating to breastfeeding. In my own state, Oregon, Or. Rev. Stat. § 653.075, § 653.077 and § 653.256 (2007) allow women to have unpaid 30-minute breaks during each four-hour shift to breastfeed or pump. Allows certain ...


8

I don't see that you're lying to her when you send her to her room and then sneak out - that sounds more like tricking her. My question is, will this kind of "lying" to her have any long lasting psychological effects of her when she grows up ? I am not a psychologist but I don't think this will give her permanent problems. But it can very well give ...


8

It is very likely that daycare will allow you to bring refrigerated or frozen breast milk and that your partner will be able to pump at work, but it takes dedication and logistics. I will share my experience, as it worked for us and was improved over months of trial/error. I went back to work when my baby was 3 months old. Each day, (after nursing my ...


8

That depends a lot on the daycare and the age of the other kids. Where I live (The Netherlands), maternity leave ends when the baby is 12 weeks old, and then they go to daycare, usually just 2-3 days a week at first. This means that the staff is experienced with babies of this age, and they are well cared for. There is also a rule that in the groups of tiny ...


8

By your own words, your father's belief and your's disagree. Now most parents don't go around proferring the exact nature of their finances to their children, so on that basis I presume you are coming to your own conclusions without sufficient knowledge. You say that your mother struggles to earn money: welcome to life... we all do! You say that she works ...


7

I think you have already listed some of the pros and cons and many families cope with large numbers of children. This question really boils down to the relationship between you and your wife, possibly mediated by a counselor as suggested by DA01. So not really a parenting question. What can you and your wife agree on?


7

Every parent tries to figure out how to keep their first child from being sad when they leave, and I don't know a single one who succeeded. It's just something kids have to go through, and they will grow out of it when they are mature enough to realize you are coming back. Until that time, any cheering up you try to do just prolongs the agony. If she sees ...


7

The child is 7, so the parent should still assert a strong influence on him. Assuming you are talking about home video games (xbox and such) or handhelp (DS and such): If the child can play a game and stop after half an hour, I do not think they have a problem. If they are asked to stop after half an hour and refuse to or throws a tantrum, then there ...


7

You will probably be able to provide your own milk. Talk to daycare facilities you're considering and find out their policy. Some include formula and diapers as part of their services, some do not. Ours required parents to bring in the baby's food (whether breastmilk or formula) and stored it in the fridge with the bottle clearly labeled. Even in cases ...


7

While you asked about pro/con of more children, I am going to take a step back and puzzle something out of the arguments you presented. Note that your arguments are either very logical (bigger house, more money) or a little constructed (as someone pointed out - age gap and time to kids doesn't really work like that). A side note: One thing you have not ...



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