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3

To answer your question, I would like to break down your question: If parents give a spank to their child, this is considered violence and as such frown upon - and in some countries simply a crime under the law. Spanking is not universally considered violence, or abuse. There are many countries that outlaw all corporal punishment, which spanking happens to ...


10

No, punishment is violence. Violence, a fact of life, is a part of nature and their world. The question implicit is what are the tolerable/intolerable externalities of violence and how to manage the potential risks that you fear in accomplishing the desired behavior modification in the child. However, please do reconsider whether you must resort to ...


1

First of all, violence is by definition physical or abusive. Pop-psychology notwithstanding, failing to be unconditionally loved with 100% forgiveness and infinite patience is not equal to having violence done to you. In my family, we had something that was neither violent, nor punishment, nor consequences per se: We had disappointment. The shame of ...


4

Santi, thanks for asking such an interesting and important question. Can behaviour which isn't physically violent be abusive? I think most people would agree that emotional abuse can exist without physical abuse; in other words, it's accepted wisdom that one does not have to hit a child in order for one's behaviour toward that child to be abusive. The ...


19

I want to address a particular issue I see in the comments: the (important) distinction between punishments and consequences. Punishments are distinct from consequences, and work differently. Many theories of parenting rely on consequences solely, and do not rely on punishments at all. Punishments do not inherently contain violence per se, but they do ...


5

The time-out system is designed to be non-punishment. It is about teaching a child who is out of control to settle himself. When the child misbehaves, he is put in his room for a few minutes (longer as he gets older), until he has regained his composure. It is an application of consequences - if you misbehave, other people don't want to be around you. When ...


8

For us, psychological abuse is a serious issue. I've seen children who've never been hit more traumatised than ones who've been seriously physically hurt through "discipline". I know that consequences have to happen in a controlled environment at an early age, since if the child does not learn that early, then they will have great difficulties related to ...


2

From birth we've always talked to our child and explained everything to her, especially why its important that she does something if we ask her to. There's never any need for violence, spanking, shouting or punishments, if you are doing it properly / calmly & in control of yourself and the situation.


4

If restraining your child in any way counts as violence, then maybe. If your child is having a screaming fit you might have to pick it up against its will and tuck it under your arm and carry it off, in a way this is violence in a small way, but better than actual beating. I always tried to turn restraint (for example, carrying the screaming child out to ...



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