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Whenever there are complex crying situations where the child is crying for one person or not another or exhibiting other complex behaviors, inevitably what that means is that you are paying him too much due, in other words, spoiling him. Children have very simple needs: food, drink, being held. You should answer those needs. What you should not do is react ...


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Short answer: if the child has a genuine need, crying should never be ignored. If the child is crying willfully or for a selfish reason, it should be ignored. Longer answer: Sometimes a child will cry when it has a genuine problem or need, like being hungry or soiled. If you anticipate these needs by feeding on a set schedule and changing right away, you ...


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This is a guess. I'm wondering if it might be a situation where he made the following two, distinct cognitive steps: (1) A while back, he developed the understanding that he could choose things. Make decisions. Affect the outcome. Make his will known, and have it followed. This is a big, important thing to understand, and it gives him control over his ...


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I would like to add some things to Joe's answer, which I think covers most of the safety and cost concerns. However, picking out sunglasses for my son was much more about his comfort with them. If he doesn't like how they feel on his face, then he will take them off (whilst complaining about the brightness)! You can meet all the other qualifications, but it ...


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its important to reinforce that Every child needs atleast ONE ADULT who thinks that He or SHE is amazing and has faith in that child. As parents, when we encourage them and know them and love them, they grow in the security of that love and sometimes others' comments dont shake them as much. Spend time reinforcing when in the company of that child, that ...


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I think Karl Bielefeldt's answer is excellent, but I wanted to address you food/nap issues. I would simply not make them issues. Address the other, more important issues first - don't make it seem like he has no control, and no say. First off, I know very few 5 year olds who still needs naps. He will not be able to have one in school, will he? I would ...


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Kids mess up. A lot. If it were possible to do something for a month that would make them stop messing up, they wouldn't need to live with you anymore. Kids messing up isn't a sign that you're doing something wrong. It's a sign that you're dealing with a normal human kid. Parenting is raising a successful 35 year-old. It's a job with a very long view. ...


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You really have two questions there... What is causing his behavior and how to deal with his behavior. My daughter (who is the younger) is the willful one in my family. Some punishments are more effective than others but the key is to keep going until you find one that works, though what works may change over time. Here's an example from when my daughter ...


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The main concerns with 1 year old sunglasses: Durability. Plastic lenses, preferably no stiff joints that are easy to break/tear. No small pieces if possible. The main small pieces in sunglasses are the screws in the joints and the nose piece. Try to get ones with no possibly removed pieces in either - if you get ones that don't have a stiff joint at ...


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The direct answer to your question is that your daughter has learned that different behaviors work with different parents. My daughter, from a young age, developed two distinct sets of "techniques" to get what she wants from both parents. For her mother, she throws tantrums and cries. For me, she's all smiles and kisses and charm. She knows that her ...


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We have had a similar thing with our daughter. "Lasts" are a very good way of helping with this. "Now I'm going to give you your last cuddle. Now I'm going to give you your last kiss and then it's bed time." And if she cries when you leave the room, leave it a minute, then go in to the door, ask her what she wants, repeat that she's had the last of ...


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There are several reasons why it's easier for your wife to do it. Some are obvious -- I'll skip those -- but one that might not be so obvious is that your wife's approach is more cut and dried. Here are some suggestions (I assume that's what you're really after...). Have a family meeting (the three of you). In the family meeting, you will tell your ...


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We have plenty of sleep problems with our son but I'm pleased to say this isn't one of them (at the moment!). We have a similar approach to you in that we don't leave him alone to go to sleep, we stay with him to avoid him getting upset and he usually goes to sleep quite easily. We have occassionally had difficulties like this in the past and it tends to ...


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My son too is highly myopic at 16 months he was -9 3 months later -14.50 and at now he turned 3 today was Checked a few weeks ago and -17.50 he gets put under to have his retnia checked by a specialist every 3-6 months to check for tears or holes and does have some Vessel issues with his retnia and his learning is way behind and I agree there isn't much info ...


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Take them out of that situation. It sounds like the child is being abused and you need to protect them. They are too young to protect themselves. Remove the child from their cousins and anyone else that may abuse them. Then when the child is old enough put them in a self defense course. It's not the child's fault they are being abused, it is not their ...


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I'd like to help her in dealing with her giftedness. I can relate. As you discovered, as a child, a little boredom in school won't kill anyone is not true. Being chronically bored in school can be excruciating, and the feeling of isolation can be permanently damaging -- hence, the tremendous anxiety you feel, and the loving desire you have to ...


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I always assumed these types of preferences were purely due to social conditioning. However from my own observation of my children (a boy and a girl, not twins) there does seem to be some distinct differences in the types of toys they've always preferred. Our daughter has always shown a strong preference for soft toys, and our son has always preferred ...


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This is a difficult situation, but more common than you'd expect. Frankly, it isn't that good for anyone: the parents aren't communicating and supporting/respecting each other, and the child justifiably will push limits set by the parents, and learn to play two against the middle. You don't mention who the adults are in the situation, and which adult is the ...


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If the fear is caused by noise or strangers it should go away as he becomes older. A typical twenty-four month old child should be afraid of loud noises and strangers. It would be unusual if he wasn't. Here's a visual showing the fears of young children over time. The left side shows fears that decrease over time and the right side shows fears that ...


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Originally, the definition for childhood IQ was to test the child for various abilities, and then compare it with the scores of the averages of different age groups. The child's mental age would be the age in the population that had the closest average score to the child. Divide the child's mental age by their real age, and multiply by 100. So you can get a ...


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I don't know if this will help but I have a daughter of a very similar age with some similar characteristics. What strikes me about your daughter is reading and arithmetic. I've certainly not witnessed any children either reading or doing any form of arithmetic at this age. My daughter is currently 2 years and 5 months, she can: Count from 1 to 10 in ...


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Considering the link in your comment: http://www.bownet.org/BESGifted/brightvs.htm, what I got from that is not the difference between "gifted" and "bright" but rather the difference between "observant" and "curious". My brother and I are like this. I am the "curious" type (what you'd call gifted) and my brother is the "observant" type (what you call ...


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I agree that's far too young for anyone to be expected to defend himself, and that the problem is entirely with the older children, their parents, or both. I would talk to the other parents about the problem immediately. Then I would teach the other children to play nicely with him, and if any of them did such a violent thing as you say, I would remove the ...


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Classifying your daughter seems very important right now, but consider the consequences of that classification. Success from hard work reinforces a work ethic whereas success from intelligence fosters the view that challenges result from the lack of intelligence. Intelligence is an intrinsic property whereas humility, persistence, empathy and kindness are ...


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You may or may not consider me "gifted". I was halfway through the fourth grade curriculum when I finished first grade (I had an awesome first grade teacher who encouraged me to work ahead. My family is still friends with her 18 years later). The school wanted me to skip straight to the fourth grade, but my parents decided to keep me with my age group so I ...


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We've had good results telling our three year old to put the hands in front of her (not really pushing but creating a physical distance between her and and aggressor) and yelling loudly "no" (mostly to alert the adults nearby).


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Well its not possible for a parent to be around a 2.5 year kid all the time. Like my son he goes to school. Since there are other kids playing around it is possible for the child attender to lose control for may be few seconds and that is enough for a push or pinch. Here neither my child is wrong neither the other child because they are learning and self ...


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The widely used WAIS intelligence test has a version for children that can be taken from the age of 2 and a half; any professional psychologist should be able to administer this test. Also, if there are no special schools for gifted children in your area, try to find a school that allows bright children to skip a year. It's a simple but apparently effective ...


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I was "gifted." By the second grade, I was so bored with school that my teacher thought I was learning disabled! Fortunately, my school principal was wise. She tested me, then immediately skipped me to the next grade, then a few months later transferred me to the hardest teacher (the "mean" teacher, LOL). That helped a lot (for a few years, anyway -- ...


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I'm the father of a 2 year old and I can't understand if she's gifted or just very bright. From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intellectual_giftedness: There is no generally agreed definition of giftedness for either children or adults, but most school placement decisions and most longitudinal studies over the course of individual lives have been ...


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It's most likely too early to tell. If you could tell, it would depend greatly on how she is learning the things she knows. Children's brains at that age have an extraordinary capacity for repeating things they observe, but mere remembering and repetition doesn't mean true understanding is happening. For example, if she is learning to read new words from ...


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I'm not sure the difference between gifted or not is important to your actual question, which seems to be how to keep your girl learning and wanting to learn. Your primary concern, that she will be bored of school and hate going, happens even with non-gifted students. Right now, everything she learns is fun - like a game. Learning is "playing", and she ...


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Dave has mentioned this a bit, but I think that there's something that can add a bit of explanation. Understanding of what's going on is always good for solving it. My experience as a scoutmaster is that boys living without strong male figures seem to do "girly things" more during childhood and even puberty. This includes children from separated families ...


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(I'm going to focus on how to help her, rather than determining if she's gifted according to an external set of criteria.) Whether your daughter is considered "gifted" according to the person/methodology used to test this, go ahead & TREAT her as if she's gifted. In other words, do what you're doing now: spend time with her, help her find things she ...


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Two short anecdotes for you: My brother loved to play with our sister's Barbie, My Little Pony and Silvanian Family toys when he was little. He isn't gay. My neighbour has a 3-year-old boy who likes to wear a Cinderella dress and pink wellington boots everywhere. Do his parents care? Not really. They obviously bought those things for him because that's ...


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There's nothing whatsoever wrong with your son, but there is something very very wrong with his father. The best thing you can do is try to limit your sons exposure to this person. If he has these sorts of attitudes you should be able to argue that he is a danger to your sons emotional well-being and potentially have his level of access limited to only ...


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I am glad to see this conversation and particularly to see so many advocate for a child being supported to be whoever and whatever he feels he is. When a child feels accepted, it goes a long way toward developing self-confidence. Self-confident people are better-equipped to handle life's challenges in a smart, aware way, and to use their talents to improve ...


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It might not be easy but definitely go for it. Having some personal and family/friends experience in multilinguisme with kids my advices would be (cannot add the references for my claims on studies results right now but I will try to add them later) As much as you can find kids that would speak Russian with yours. Making Russian an important social ...


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There is very little I can say that hasn't already been said. Disclosure: I don't have a son (yet, but that's another story for another day) but I have kids. My point being that if I did have a son there will inevitably come a day where he would want to play with his sisters' toys. There is a clear distinction between behavior I would define as okay for a ...


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First of all, he's just fine. Nothing to correct here. Second, I don't think sexual orientation is a choice or something you can change. You're born with it. I see it like this. If the doll represents anything, it most likely represents his mother. He lives with her, sees her living as a woman, dressing up, putting on makeup, etc... and he's emulating ...


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Both of my two daughters preferred their mother during their first few years. My oldest daughter (now 7) was scarred of all men until she was 2, including me and my father. It was very hurtful but it passed. Now she is really, really close to me, much more than with my wife. My youngest daughter (now 3) is just getting from being mommys girl to being closer ...


4

Lots of great answers here, but I notice one thing that is missing that you might care to think about. Perhaps more important than whether a child plays with dolls or toy soldiers, or whatever, is playing with the parent(s). At least with my kids, I pick what we play with based on my interests. That might sound unfair, but I know I'll play longer and ...


2

Old question, but I'm answering for posterity. Glad this one had a happy ending. I have a thought you may find encouraging--particularly in conjunction with other answers. From two years old to about seven my boy had a lisp and trouble pronouncing "r" properly. His affected speech was not so prevalent that he was difficult to understand or teased by other ...


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I am 53, and I have been married for 24 years with 2 sons. In my childhood I spent all my time playing with the dolls people gave my sister; I also won prizes for cookery, sewing and flower arranging - my wife has several items of clothing I have sewn for her. My sister spent all our childhood playing with the toy cars and so on people gave me: she is ...


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Regarding the following statement: His dad told me that he "wasn't raisin a faggot" and that he should have our son living with him so he can teach him how to be a man. I won't agree to this because he is my only child. All other issues aside, this sounds like the reason that you would not agree for the boy to live with his father is for your interests ...


0

I adopted a cat that had been shuffled around from house to house several times in his early kittenhood. One of the people at his last residence was a woman who would pick him up and force him to sit in her lap. "Love me! Love me!" she would say. The cat would just get more and more tense over time. It would have this miserable, trapped expression on its ...


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Playing with "girl" toys at the age of five is indeed completely normal behavior for a little boy. You are correct not to worry and to allow your son to play in the way that he enjoys. It doesn't mean that he is gay, and it certainly won't "make" him gay; his sexual orientation is likely already fixed by the age of five, although he is probably still to ...


1

One of my daughters was like this. Still is, in new situations. My other daughter very carefully calculates her risks before taking them, but then proceeds fearlessly, and sometimes doesn't realize she has miscalculated. Usually kids just grow out of it with experience. This might sound strange, but the most effective way I've found for them to learn to ...


1

This is perfectly normal and common for a 2 year old. Don't worry about it. He'll get more confidence as he gets a bit older, and discovers all the new things he can do. What you should avoid is trying to push him to do things he's frightened of. This will have the opposite effect to what you're trying to achieve. It's perfectly normal that he would cry if ...


4

Re dealing with the Dad, maybe tell him that liking girly things could be an early sign of heterosexuality? It's a bit odd to think of an interest in the the opposite gender as a sign that he might be gay... An older boy who likes girls might ask a girl out or something, but a small boy who thinks girls are nice will not have such things on his mind and will ...



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